Day: September 14, 2018

Mary wants a woollen vest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Winter had come very early to Knittingham yet owing to the late summer and wet autumn,many trees still had their leaves,,,,,,,,,,,some were even  green.Stan and Mary were sitting in their mock Tudor cottage style kitchen eating muffins and honey with Earl grey tea in mugs.

Wow,it’s so cold,Mary remarked.

Now,Mary I have told you before that Wow is not a word I expect to hear from such a highly educated person as yourself….why waste your learning?All those years climbing over walls in Oxford and dating  clever doctors from Harvard…

Bollocks,Mary answered in a tone not unlike the late Rose Nordloch,philosopher extraordinaire who was famed for her obscene talk.I am thinking of buying some woollen vests,she continued loudly.Good grief!

What is it, my darling Stan  said nosily.Mary was looking at a catalogue of ladies clothing. and lingerie which had come in the post

They are £39 each,she said wonderingly.If I get three it will be nearly £120 plus postage.Just imagine,I may be unable to afford wool vests

Can’t you just buy one and wear it all winter like the Tudors did?her loving yet  irascible husband replied

I think it would get smelly,my dear,even if I wore  my anti -perspirant,Mary answered benignly.We should get wool vests from the Government to save us from going to A and E with double pneumonia,she continued softly…Shall we mention it at the Labour  ? I can get it on the agenda

No,no,Stan cried,I want your lingerie to be a secret…

A woollen vest is hardly lingerie,she retorted..  sounding like a character from Barbara Pym‘s novels

Everything a lady wears under her dress in lingerie he murmured gently….bras ,knickers,pantaloons,petticoats,vests,corsets,suspender belts.stockings,tights,trouser liners,lace,fine silk,short underskirts,long underskirts……..nighties

But some  lingerie is more sensual…Stan said wistfully,recalling the brown silk underwear Mary used to wear before feminism made most lingerie a No,No! Anyway,Mary said,we are too old for sex….we are too stiff and we are too shy now as well

But not too old to have a few fantasies,Stan thought… and woollen vests did not feature in his… he preferred lace and silk with a hint of perfume…. maybe a little embroidery….a dying art

Emile came in and  asked for a vest  too and some underpants… suppose I wet them? he miaowed in a panic

Well,you can’t have a nappy,Emile.Stan informed him.

I have no desire for such things,Emile mioawed angrily…where is my food?

Oh, yes… it’s in the fridge,said Stan.He took a large goldfish out of the fridge

Where did you get that from? Mary asked fearfully…

.Oh,that tom cat down the road  knocked a fish tank over and he gave Emile one.

But they are pets!She shrieked…. ring 999 now and ask for an ambulance

Dave the bisexual paramedic strode in looking merry.

It’s Frank,the gold fish,said Mary fearfully……………Is he dead?

He is not quite dead,Dave answered….get a bowl of rain water.He put Frank into the

bowl and Frank began to swim…

Well, that’s a bloody miracle,Mary screamed. almost frightening Stan to death!

Just call him  Lazy Lazarus.Dave quipped…he was in suspended animation.. fish are very

clever.Would you like me to clean out the kitchen or fetch in some coal for the scuttle? he

asked the old dears.

Thanks but not today,Dave.We were just discussing vests.Do you wear one?

Oh,yes.he said, and I wear a short petticoat too….I’dd love a silk one as I am a transexual

too,so I believe

Very wise,Mary informed him.Underwear keeps us warm.

And it makes me hot,thought Dave…. but he said nothing.He kept his sex life almost a secret even from himself

Vests,thought Mary.

To buy or not to buy

That is my question

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The first day of winter

adorable animal animal world cat
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On the first day of winter, my lover gave to me, 1 pair  tights and a pussy cat  without a single flea

On the second day of winter my lover gave to me,two woolly gloves, i pair ot tights and cat that had never had a flea

On the third day of winter ,my lover gave to me, three thermal vests. two woollen gloves,1  pair of tights and a cat with  its  very own flea

On the fourth day of winter my lover gave to me, 4 cashmere beanies,three thermal vests,2 woollen gloves ,1 pair of tights and a Manx cat completely tail free

On the fifth day of winter my lover gave to me 5 pairs  of knickers 4 cashmere bean,ies,3 thermal vests ,2 woolen gloves,1 pair of tights and a  Manx cat  now the mother of three

On the sixth day of winter my lover gave to me, 6 silken nighties,5 pairs of knickers, 4 cashmere beanies,3 thermal vests,2 woollen gloves, a pair of tights and a tiger to sleep  next to me

On the 7th day of winter my lover said to me

You do the washing
I’ll change the sheets
You make the coffee
I’ll buy some sweets
You make some tea
And we’ll see how the Manx cat stays  flea free

The heart of poetry

The heart of poetry is much too hard to master
make the syntax good and  entertaining
the  gruesome heart of poetry   brings disaster

 

a meter errant makes  the lines come faster
an oxford  thesaurus   gets the listeners   waning
the art of poetry  isn’t hard to master.

 

a genius woke and saw a verse rush past her
it only needed polishing and planing
the  gruesome heart of poetry brings  disaster

 

she left the oven on,it gassed her
ever since her folk  groan, paining
the art of poetry  isn’t hard to master.

 

she saw her selves as coloured shapes in plaster
and round her mind, were ghosts all craning
the  gruesome heart of poetry brings disaster

there’s not a lot of hope if we’re complaining
for criticism  from hidden ghosts is draining
the art of poetry isn’t hard to master
the  gruesome  heart of poetry brings disaster

Nuclear matricide

The geese have changed their flight path to the lake
For further to the East  a river runs
Once used for milling flour for bread and cake
For making bulbs  for lights and wartime guns

The lightbulbs were  a fiction in the  War
Radar was the  secret  they researched
An old man in my Art Class once worked there
A physicist who worshipped still in Church

God and radar,guns and shells and tanks
Angels,demons,Jesus Christ we’re damned
Money lenders,presidents and Banks
Evil now seems normal in our land

We  rid the world of Hitler  but we died
What soul survives nuclear matricide?

Poetry Resources for beginners

b_makoyanum_2018-5https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/poetry-101-resources-beginners

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We asked a number of poets, including previous Chancellors of the Academy of American Poets, to list a few poetry books that they would recommend to others. The selections that came in include influential volumes, books returned to over and over, must-reads, and books frequently recommended to students or new poetry readers.

Ai recommended:

Galway Kinnell
Body Rags (2002, Mariner Books Reissue)

Galway Kinnell
The Book of Nightmares (1973, Mariner Books)

W. S. Merwin
The Lice (1993, Copper Canyon Press Reissue)

Cesare Pavese
Hard Labor (1979, Johns Hopkins University Press)

James Wright
Shall We Gather at the River (1968, University Press of New England)

Sylvia Plath
Ariel (2004, HarperCollins Restored Edition)

Allen Ginsberg
Howl (1956, City Lights Books)

Robert Bly recommends:

Wallace Stevens
Harmonium (1923, Faber and Faber)

Antonio Machado
Soledad (1990, Fondo de Cultura Económica)

Antonio Machado
Times Alone (1983, Wesleyan University Press)

Richard Wilbur
The Beautiful Changes (1947, Reynal & Hitchcock)

Robert Creeley
For Love (1980, Macmillan)

Cesar Vallejo
The Black Messengers (1995, Losada)