Mary cut her own toe nails
With her scissors she won’t fail
Sharp as Shap in winter snow
The scissors have a deadly glow
Today she never combed her hair
It’s so short she looks quite bare
Yet despite her bald long head
She has had some fun in bed
Maybe it was long ago
Never mind, her lover purred
Yes, she married Emile sweet
This dear cat makes her complete
But what is Emile’s second name?
Is he French or perhaps germane?
She is Mrs Nom de Plume
Emile saved her from her doom
Sometimes they ring 999
Her new doorbell is divine
In runs paramedic Dave
See his long curls as they wave
He is wearing a new skirt
With Emile he tries to flirt
But Emile is full of faith
To his new wife who is no wraith
See them eating creme brulee
So that they won’t fade away
One for Mary and Emile
Two for Dave , he had no meal
Here comes Annie with a bat
Look at this,’twas in my hat
Shall I tell it Jesus saves
Oh! what ridicule she raised
Bats can never go to Mass
They are free to sin en masse
Emile likes the Psalms and prayers
At the parson he will glare
Where is Stan, that dear old man?
He’s with a whore in hell, oh damn
How my heart sings 