The more I knew, the less I liked

I did not love him though I tried
The more I knew, the less I liked
He only talked about the News
Telling me his fascist views
So he was boring.

He never took me out to eat
Gave me tinned pies of dubious meat
He asked to see me in the nude
I thought that was extremely rude
And he was boring

I cooked him a perfect meal
Bought some mace and spices real
I made him chips and chicken curry
He gulped it down; he choked, why hurry?
He seemed so boring

One day he told me he was off
Then he gave a frightful cough
He fell down,  he was quite dead
My cat  bit him on the bed
For he was jealous

I wonder why I’m too polite
I’m on the phone from morn till night
I cannot end the  boring chat
I must be mental, how is that?
Am I  too passive?

So if you phone, me tell me News
Tell me  why the kitten miaows
Tell me funny tales and jokes
Give me your cigars to  smoke
We  must be human