Ah don’t know Dad.

When  ah got ‘ome he said
Put wood in th’ hole
I didn”t got to College to learn to talk like that,I shouted
Whur did ye go to?
Lady Target’s Bowl
So what are you mitherin’ us about now
They don’t say mitherin’  down there
That’s their loss
My,. you sound like Richard Dimbleby
Who he?
Well, let’s say  he never went to Lady Target’s
Why not!
It was only for women.
How sexist <Give is a barmcake, our Kath.
Here y’are,Dad.
Ye’ve not buttered it.
Ye never said
Am sayin now
Oh,put the lid on it
Why not put a cork in it?
Close the door on  it
See ye can talk proper,after all.
So wood in th’ ole is improper?
You sound like Fowlers Modern English Usage
Who’s he when he’s at home?
He must be proper
Like some verbs?
Ah did   learn Latin in Church at Mass
D’ye think God would like that? Ye should be prayin’ Kath
It was prayin’ in Latin
So God  likes Latin?
Adveniat Regnum Tuum
Sicut in Coelo et in Terror
I’ll seek it anywhere!
Fiat Voluntas Tuas
Notre pere, qui est Hosiah
That’s  not right!
Au ciel de ma maman, je t’adore.
So is it wrong?
Not in fuzzy logic.
I didn’t send you to Uni to learn  fuzzy logic
That’s true but we Iearned it by osmosis
Ae ye kiddin’?
Aye,I am.I learned it from Professor Blogge
Ah’ll kill  ‘im
That’s a sin
Who’re you,Saint Peter ?
Get thee hence
Gi’ us a nicker
Be careful. The PC police are outside
What, a b$gger
There are  two!