Mary woke up in her bright sunny bedroom stacked high with books and spectacles like Emile dancing in front of her mirror.She looked at her arm where she had some stitches removed the night before.
Oh.dear.Her arm was bleeding and as she gazed the surgical wound opened up more and more and some blood ran out,just like Dave, the paramedic would run into her house, if you get my point
Picking up the phone she rang her doctor and was told by the receptionist
Why not put some elastoplast on it?
Fortunately Mary was so intelligent and brilliant after her lengthy education on deferential equations, she deduced that after a large biopsy,elastoplast was not sufficient.She phoned 111
Hello NHS here,are you the patient?
Yes,Mary cried,
Where are you ?
I am in bed
After a few more questions the computer told the NHS aide to send Mary to the hospital A and E within one hour.What a pity she could not ring 999 and get Dave to help her as it was not an emergency
.She phoned for a minicab after putting one some clean undies and an old blue dress.
Now Emile,I think you’d better stay here so you can watch out for Annie and tell her where I am
Whatever, the surly cat replied like a teenage boy asked to get out of bed to go to school when he was happy lying and dreaming of girls and their silky hair and wondering how soon he could get a real live girlfriend to take to the cinema on the back row.Or better still, undo two buttons on her blouse and kiss her
Here, there is some fresh food,Emile.I should be home soon
The phone rang.
Hello, this is Mischa your cab driver in my green and blue striped car
I am ready,Mary murmured as she locked the door and rushed down the path.
What has happened,asked Mischa
Don’t look,said Mary who had stuck 6 dressings over her wound
When she arrived she was soon seen by a nurse
She lay down on a nice soft bed while a handsome and serene man applied various sticky things to her arm topped by a big white dressing
Please come back on Saturday, he cried
Why, is there a dance, she enquired saucily?
No, you need to have it checked!
So this is not enough?
I can’t say, he cried
Little did Mary know she was going to spend £100 on minicabs in the following week.
Annie was in the orange and yellow bijou kitchen extension.She was wearing pink and purple leggings and a black tunic, her face bright as a diamond in Max -Packed-Her long lasting foundation, her lips glowing like Wigan Pier at sunset with her new lipstick which matched Mary’s cupboard doors.
It was called,New Dawn by Pierre Moulin of Rome and Taiwan.She had seen it recommended by the Guardian beauty editor who was rather a strange looking young lady by past standards.
Still we all need advice now and then and cosmetics cheer us up for a little while especially when we have just seen Boris Johnson on TV claiming he loves women who look like letter boxes or was it pillar boxes?
Whatever.
Here,Mary,I’ve made some strong tea.How did you get on? cried Annie in her warm Knittingham way.
Wonderful,Mary whispered.I saw this awesome male nurse.
Will it heal?
I suppose so, doesn’t everything , Mary said, her view based on total ignorance of surgical wounds and failed stitching,I think that nurse should have realised it was too early to remove the stitches as they were near my elbow.They don’t stitch them up again apparently.
While she spoke a few irate bacteria were searching for a ladder so they could clamber into Mary’s wound
You’d think they would put steps in. said one bacterium to another
.I think it is cruel to have such a deep hole with not even a rope to climb down.He had been watching rock climbers on the Langdale Pikes who had unknowingly been accompanied by a thousand bacteria and their friends the viruses.
Do stop moaning. said his wife,Annabelle.Let’s just dive in
Mary drank her tea and looked at Annie who was a little pale
I’m sorry to cause worry, she said shyly.I expect I’ll be better by tomorrow
And so hope all of us
How my heart sings 