How to speak Yarkish

How much is to Yark?
Where is it?
In North Yarkshire.
Why do you speak like that?
Like what?
Well how do you pronounce  pork?
Park!
And how do you say Park
Paheck.
Why the heck?
We love the word “heck” especially with no aitch
What’s an aitch?
It’s what we leave off until we pass the 11 plus
Suppose you fail?
Do you mean fehil?
Why the aitch in the middle?
To separate the vowels
You mean the vawls?
Now, you are doing it
On Ilkley Mohor ba’ht  ‘at
Be orf
You  must mean, be arf
To b or not to b
To h or not to h
Go and come no more
Frum Hilkley Mohor ba’ht ‘at