My wife is a good cook
That meal was awful
I felt awed too.

My wife sleeps on the mirror
What do you sleep on?
The looking glass.

My wife  has a bath
Do you?
No, we’re legally separated.

My wife likes apples
That’s quite normal
That’s what Adam thought

My wife spent 5 years in the science library
What were you doing?
Feeding the baby
For five years?
It wasn’t the same baby
How come?
She gave birth, of course
Pity she’s not an ameoba
I would have missed the annual mating
Where did you do that?
Where do you think!
Is there a bed?
Where?

My husband likes to read the Guardian
Why?
What else could he do with it?

My husband likes parrots
Boiled or roasted?
What do you think?
I never do.

My husband likes keeping accounts
Don’t you get a bank statement?
Not about what I do at night

My husband is in the loft
Why?
He thinks he might ascend into heaven

Does your husband comb his hair?
I can’t tell.
Is it secret?
No,it makes no difference what he does.
Surely he should clean it?
I’d do it in the washing machine but it won’t come off his head

mass noun

A noun that refers to something that can’t be counted, and which does not regularly have a plural form, for example rain, darkness, happiness, or humour. Also called uncountable noun. The opposite of countable noun. Learn more about countable and uncountable nouns.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/zealot

http://www.btf-thyroid.org/information/leaflets/37-psychological-symptoms-guide

Quote:

 

People with thyroid disorders often have emotional or mental health symptoms as well as physical symptoms. This is especially the case for people with hyperthyroidism (an over-active thyroid), hypothyroidism (an under-active thyroid), thyroid related eye disease, or thyroid cancer.

What kind of emotional problems might I experience?

Whatever your type of thyroid disorder, it can make you feel more emotional than you felt before and you may find that your mood changes, sometimes rapidly and unpredictably. Common emotional problems are:

Over-activity

• Anxiety – a feeling of nervousness, with butterflies, heart racing, trembling, irritability, sleep difficulties

Under-activity

• Depression – low mood and difficulty enjoying things, tearfulness, loss of appetite and disturbed sleep
• Either over-activity or under-activity
• Mood swings – snappiness or short-temper which people often call ‘moodiness’
• Sleeping difficulties

What about mental health problems?

Mental health, or cognitive, problems that can occur, most often with thyroid under-activity, include:

• Difficulties with concentration
• Short-term memory lapses
• Lack of interest and mental alertness

These symptoms can cause older people to worry about permanent memory failure (dementia) but in fact they are rarely as severe as seen in dementia.

 

Made from a watercolour painting using digital software~By Katherine
Died after eating   my Carbonnade of Beef.Verdict: Sad but unsurprising
Got a steak knife in his eye then fell into the dustbin.Verdict:Silly
Fell out of my wife’s bed.Verdict:Womanised till  his heart wore out.Sensible
Killed by me.Verdict:Human error
Died while slicing bread with a carving knife.Verdict: no logic
Drank my urine sample.Verdict:Proved I have an infection
Fell off the roof.Verdict:common assault by the  pavement
Got a vibrator stuck in his nose.Verdict:Sexually  inadequate
Fell over a suitcase  onto the rail tracks.Verdict: train came early.Inevitable
Got too hot and dived into  the Humber: Bad memory…. he could not swim
Fell of Flamborough Head,Verdict: Not from Yorkshire, hence stupid
Fell off Micklegate Bar:Verdict:Vain
Dived into the Ouse.Verdict: Blind drunk  and ignorant of the laws of nature
Ashamed of wetting  his trousers.Verdict:Insufficient reason for suicide.Murder by persons unknown
Fell out the window.Verdict:Not sure why,