The bones already names

When I was born, my bones already named
Clavicle,utensil, copper wire
I thought I’d reached the apogee of fame

I quickly realised murder was the game
As my brothers set  my hair on fire
When I was born, my bones already maimed

How I escaped with difficulty’s plain.
If you will believe I am no liar.
I thought I’d reached the apogee of fame

We had a ginger cat which no-one tamed
We took it in a bag to Midnight Choirs
When I sang, my voice was full of  shame

The cat got in a trap and so was lamed
We dressed its wounds,it scratched  me something dire
I thought I’d reached the higher, sharper pains

I spoke too soon, from love  and hate I tired
Then vulgar fractions  infinite,  defiled
I was born, my bones with words engrained
Jesus Christ, I understand your game

 

A dull pain

A dull pain wanders slowly through my  chest
Underneath my heart but  fairly  near
A poignant evocation  of duress

I believe that some folk say  life is a test
And if we fail, is punishment severe?
A dull pain wanders slowly through my  chest

When I was little, I would  have confessed
In my eyes I’d feel the damp, cold tears
A poignant evocation  of distress.

When exactly did mother know best?
When she hit me, when I showed my fear?
A dull pain wanders slowly through my  chest

I loved my mother once, but less and less.
She was my prison guard and my King Lear
I could not bear my own acute distress.

She made me cut my hair off, and impressed
That I was ugly, no boy would come near
A dull pain wanders slowly through my  chest

In my mind the bully boys still jeer
I met one there and yes,I met one here
I was silent for I lived under duress
A dull pain wanders slowly through my  chest

What is a dilettante?

end of the world 4
dilettante
ˌdɪlɪˈtanteɪ,ˌdɪlɪˈtanti/
noun
noun: dilettante; plural noun: dilettantes; plural noun: dilettanti
  1. a person who cultivates an area of interest, such as the arts, without real commitment or knowledge.
    synonyms: dabbler, potterer, tinkerer, trifler, dallier; More

    antonyms: professional
    • archaic
      a person with an amateur interest in the arts.
Origin
mid 18th century: from Italian, ‘person loving the arts’, from dilettare ‘to delight’, from Latin delectare .

Don’t you glare

I don’t know my gender
So I am a  pretender
I’m dressing in a modest kind of way
I wear some cotton trousers
A red skirt and three blouses
And I wore a tweed man’s overcoat today
Since I’ve been getting  lonesome
I invented a companion
Half of me is male,I say,I say.
He writes all  the sonnets
And says he knows  who dunnit.
And I write villanelles with love and care.
When someone seems enchanted
I feel  a dilettante
For I dress  quite like a boy and get half fare
And then they see my  tunics
Embroidered and perfumed
They feel confused and have a new excuse to stare,
Thank God for the Muslims
I imitate their costumes
I am happy to modest, don’t  you glare.

By mistake 2

A prison is a place to meditate
No distraction  and no  need to fake
Nor murder other inmates by mistake

But do you feel ashamed of your new state?
Think of all the MP’s who’re disgraced
Illness gives one time to meditate

To be alone is not what love dictates
Especially if you have no time to waste
You must not murder others by mistake

If inclined to madness,hesitate.
Think of Leonard Cohen and all he wrote
Depression gives one aeons to meditate

Have an illness rather than  a mate
If you  have no lamb then get a goat
It  could murder apples in a bate.

If you swim  don’t wear a heavy coat
If you wander, you might find  new mates
A bedroom is a place to meditate
Do not murder  lovers by mistake

 

 I’ll love you when I be

IMG_0107
‘Twas but a reptile passing by.
It flew across the deep blue sky
Why do reptiles fly so high?
I’ll love you till I die.
“Twas but a cat under the moon.
Did you have a silver spoon?
Why can’t cats all waul in tune?
I’ll love you very soon
‘Twas but a wooden legged man,

Carrying a brass  frying pan.
Why can’t men when women can?
I’ll love you better than.
Why are adverbs?
What are nouns?
why do circuses have clowns?
I’ll love you lying down.
Where do dreams go in the day?
What game can we adults play?
Can you or can you not say?
I’ll love you,in my way.
‘Twas but a verse that seemed so free.
It floated over my oak tree.
I have eyes but cannot see.
I’ll love you when we be.

How deviant

IMG_0034She said she never knew what syntax was until she met me.
Well,you do look worn out by your sins.
How do you know they were sins?
Well,you went to Confession twice a week all your life
That was my scruples.Sometimes I went twice a day…
It sounds like having an upset stomach.
In my case it was an upset soul.The soul emptied out and hung out on the Maginot line
Eventually I realized virtue is not attainable by Will Power alone
How is it attained… won’t power?
I knew you’d say that!
That!
Anyway to get back to syntax,it’s about structure.
Like council tax?
Words fail me
That’s good.I meant tax on a building
You seem very rude today
It’s not just today,I’m like this all the time.
I never noticed before
You only met me tonight
That’s almost true..now syntax is a very important topic.
Are we on a date or are you giving grammar lessons free?
No,I have Waspstingies Syndrome.It’s as if am a wasp in human form.
When do you sting
When people say sharp things to me.
Go on,you’re just needling me..
Truly I think you’ll love syntax and spelling rude words.
Well,we’ve had santax for years.Women pay VAT of 20 per cent on Tampax
It’s enough to make me throw up
No,throw out!Throw out Gove and Johnson
Do you think Labour will remove Santax?
I don’t know but at least you’ll learn how to do percentages with them
I will?
Thank you so much.I am delighted to hear that.We are engaged.Here is a ring.
That’s beautiful.Was it your mother’s?
It still is my mother’s.
How can I wear it when she might see it?
I’ll tell her I liked hers so much I got one the same.She’s got poor vision so don’t worry.After the Wedding I’ll give it back
How mean.
I never knew you liked statistics.What about deviance?
Well,some I like,some I don’t… you catch my drift?
Well,babe,I’ll explain everything when we lie together.
That makes us sound like the government.
How come?
They all lie together.
Do they really.That explains a lot.Do they come together often?
I guess they have a rota.
You can’t come by will power.
That’s good.I want to come in a a horse and carriage.
It might frighten the horses.
I mean to our Wedding ceremony
Do you want four horses?
I am not that heavy!
No,I want you to have it all.
Suppose it’s not enough.
We’ll have to play it by ear..
Is that the organ?
Well,it’s a kind of organ.
A harmonium?
Maybe..I’ll ask the priest.
Does he play?
No,he just hears confessions and says Mass.
It’s a pity confession’s secret.He could write a long novel.
I daresay some have…. with pseudonyms.
I use a wordprocessor… should I get a pseudonym too?
You are crazy but I love you with all my heart.
And is it big?
Big enough for two.
Thank you,God.
Don’t mention it.

 

Without your circling arm

I feel my soul is trembling like a leaf
that clings on in the worst of a fierce gale
yet will drop into black mud far beneath
though briefly through some sunshine it may fall.

I am as nothing trodden into earth
And lower than the lowest living beast,
I make no estimation of my worth
and for the worms I shall provide a feast.

At first I thought that I could ride the storm
That I could live without your circling arm
But truth has taken hold of me entire.
The choice is death by mud or death by fire.

I see I am now trampled with earth’s dust
No more to be an object of mere lust

Walt Whitman

30002

https://www.poetrysoup.com/famous/poem/walt_whitman_13352

 

 

“Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am;
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary;
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain rest,
Looking with side-curved head, curious what will come next;
Both in and out of the game, and watching and wondering at it.

Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with linguists and
contenders;
I have no mockings or arguments—I witness and wait.

5
I believe in you, my Soul—the other I am must not abase itself to you;
And you must not be abased to the other.

 

Loafe with me on the grass—loose the stop from your throat;
Not words, not music or rhyme I want—not custom or lecture, not even the
best;
Only the lull I like, the hum of your valved voice.

I mind how once we lay, such a transparent summer morning;
How you settled your head athwart my hips, and gently turn’d over upon me,
And parted the shirt from my bosom-bone, and plunged your tongue to my
bare-stript heart,
And reach’d till you felt my beard, and reach’d till you held my feet.

 

Swiftly arose and spread around me the peace and knowledge that pass all the
argument of the earth;
And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own,
And I know that the spirit of God is the brother of my own;
And that all the men ever born are also my brothers, and the women my sisters
and lovers;
And that a kelson of the creation is love;
And limitless are leaves, stiff or drooping in the fields;
And brown ants in the little wells beneath them;
And mossy scabs of the worm fence, and heap’d stones, elder, mullen and
poke-weed.

 

6
A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is, any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.”

Courage by Robert William Service

 Today I opened wide my eyes,
And stared with wonder and surprise,
To see beneath November skies
An apple blossom peer;
Upon a branch as bleak as night
It gleamed exultant on my sight,
A fairy beacon burning bright
Of hope and cheer.

"Alas!" said I, "poor foolish thing,
Have you mistaken this for Spring?
Behold, the thrush has taken wing,
And Winter's near.
"
Serene it seemed to lift its head:
"The Winter's wrath I do not dread,
Because I am," it proudly said,
"A Pioneer.

"Some apple blossom must be first,
With beauty's urgency to burst
Into a world for joy athirst,
And so I dare;
And I shall see what none shall see -
December skies gloom over me,
And mock them with my April glee,
And fearless fare.

"And I shall hear what none shall hear -
The hardy robin piping clear,
The Storm King gallop dark and drear
Across the sky;
And I shall know what none shall know -
The silent kisses of the snow,
The Christmas candles' silver glow,
Before I die.

"Then from your frost-gemmed window pane
One morning you will look in vain,
My smile of delicate disdain
No more to see;
But though I pass before my time,
And perish in the grale and grime,
Maybe you'll have a little rhyme
To spare for me.

A new name for Rosa

p1000273-23p1000273-2

It is a truth totally unacknowledged  by human beings that Professor of Linguistics and  Word Mismanagement Rosa Benchez hates her own name.It is for this reason, she is keen to get married.Unfortunately ,her only suitor is Charlie Blogge. the well known TV biology  expert
Does Rosa Blogge sound any better, she asked her friend Amy Panicker.
I find it hard to judge ,Amy answered. Ar least it’s not Bloggess.But there is another answer.
Rosa and her cat Lucy looked up expectantly.
Go on tell  us!
Change your first name.Have you got any other name besides Rosa? Don’t say Wooden or Iron,I beg you.
Rosa looked surprised.
In a way that is harder emotionally,she began, because that’s what all my friends and family call me
They must have been dim to call you Rosa,Amy cried.
Don’t say that.Who wants to be compared to a lightbulb?
Well ,who wants to be compared to rows of benches? Amy retorted.
Well.grandad was called I.Ron Benchez.Rosa shouted.He was from the USA.
Thank God ,he is not the President,Amy smiled
I think that is stupid.The name of the person has no bearing on how they can lead a government.
Well,how about Trump? Is it a real name or did they pick it from knowing the word trump from card games,Amy asked quietly
I  have no idea,said Rosa.I shall look it up now
Wow, you have a new iphone!
Charlie gave it to me,Rosa confessed shyly blushing dark pink
You had better check whether he  is tracking you, Amy told her anxiously.You never know what men will do nowadays.
But can’t you track folk on Samsungs or Nokia Lumias? said Rosa in  her mellow voice.
I don’t think it is very romantic to give a lady  a smartphone instead of some jewellery,Amy cried.You can sell jewellery but who wants a second-hand iphone.
As a matter of fact ,some old Nokias from the 90’s are now worth a few hundred pounds
So if you have one keep it unless your  home is already overflowing with collections of pens,watches old newspapers and cats like my friend Percival’s,Rosa retorted.
Percival? what  is his last name?
Joyce.Rosa whispered.He is related to the writer James Joyce.
Rosa Joyce…. how does that sound?
Well as you know any word you keep repeating begins to sound odd and the same is true of names.Even the nicest name like Katherine With-Doubt begins to sound odd when  delivery men ask you for it.
Are you with doubt? one had asked her, she told me
Who is without doubt she had replied courteously.
Who indeed said the clever Polish doctor working in the UK  delivering stuff for AAmazing,dot com.He lives round the corner:Thom Without-Doubt
Thank God you are not called that.
Amy asked Rosa if she could make a pot of tea.They sat in the old orange walled kitchen eating cream crackers and cheese and sipping hot tea.
Lucy was eating some cat biscuits and suddenly   had a good idea
Why don’t you and I swap names, she mewed to Rosa with a  loving smile.
Do you know,said Rosa,I am so fed up with names I shall change mine to a number if we carry on like this
Do you think 678 Benches sounds any better,giggled Amy.
I was thinking more of a name like Platonic form or pyramid
How does Platonic Benchez sound. Or Platonic Blogge?
And so ask  all of us.

Why you can’t draw and what to do about it

The 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Draw, (And What to Do About It)

 

“What if I told you, you talk too much

Talking and drawing don’t mix.

The main problems associated with drawing is when you talk you engage your logical, language dominated left side of the brain. This side of your brain is keen on knowing an objects name, labelling it, and organising it.

Often when learning to draw, you need to temporarily hold off judgment and try not to second guess what you think the object should look like, rather than what the object actually looks like.

When you are trying to learn to draw something realistically, you have to engage your right-hand side of the brain, which is keener on images and spatial perception.

It’s very hard to do both at the same time.

Why?

Because it causes mind freeze.

Have you ever been in a creative zone of absorption, a state where time travels quickly and you are in what psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls ‘flow’.

How Does It Feel to Be in Flow?

  1. Completely involved in what we are doing – focused, concentrated.
  2. A sense of ecstasy – of being outside everyday reality.
  3. Great inner clarity – knowing what needs to be done, and how well we are doing.
  4. Knowing that the activity is doable – that skills are adequate to the task.
  5. A sense of serenity – no worries about oneself, and a feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of the ego.
  6. Timelessness – thoroughly focused on the present, our sin to pass by in minutes.
  7. Intrinsic motivation – whatever produces flow becomes its own reward.

Flow is the mental state when you are fully immersed in an activity, a feeling of full involvement and energy.

You can get to this stage of involvement whilst drawing… until you get interrupted.

The combination of left and right battling against each other makes trying to draw tricky”

I’m feeling cobalt blue

Everybody’s not  the same as you
Some like Mozart some like Whipsnade Zoo
Stone the crows ,I’m feeling very blue

I like eggs stuffed with  Ceylon tea.
What the Dickens can a writer do?
Everybody’s not  the same as me.

Everybody’s unique and it is true
Many cannot solve a crossword clue.
Stone the crows as they are feeling blue

I like avacados’ mystery
I  stole mother’s lovely superglue
Everybody’s not the same as me

When I answer, don’t say. who are you?
I’m your friend and my cat cannot mew.
Love the crows for they are black not blue

If the world ends,baby, I love you
And I love your toolset, is that new?
Everybody’s not  the same dark hue.
Stone the crows ,I’m feeling cobalt blue

 

 

My very first poem

Too old for cold,
I stand, now, against the hedge,
Watching the snow fall in the glare of neon street lights.
Darkness has come early,
I think of country uplands and huddled sheep.
On Salisbury Plain, shepherds watched their flocks
Just as in Bethlehem two thousand years before.
And then, exactly when?
“Between the wars”, it stopped
Now we know there is no “Between the wars”.
And who decided
To cull the sheep and shepherds
And the space for kindness?
Now that same Plain still exists, but banned
And closed to human-kind,
For bombs, not wombs
Nor for birth of lamb, nor gypsy child, nor Saviour
Where would He go today?

The  flick of night

The nights are stretched like canvases on walls
Black and matt  without the least starlight
They evoke our disillusion with the real

From summer’s light , unwilling, England falls
We feel the tension  and the  flick of night
Dreams are hung; Picasso’s echo wails

The unconscious can so swiftly  be revealed
It  steals away  our own nspoken thoughts
Evoking  the illusion  we are real

Before the Judge speaks,do not  lies conceal
What we’ve sold and what we might have bought
Dreams are hung  like criminals unhealed

Gossip’s  sickly like bought ready meal
We omit the details  history taught:
Needed disillusion with the “real”

 

After war,  the trail of losses ought
To  signify no future fiction’s taught
The  Jewish nights, nails scratching wailing walls
With their  burning , G-d himself  has failed

 

After you

Bio

“Beginning with the psychological objectification, how often do we find ourselves listening to the other only to feed our own assessment of that person and what we believe categorises them? Our internal thought process conducts commentaries, when in conversation, in-between ‘listening’ to the other: ‘Ah, well, Rebecca would say that because she never lets go of her feminist position.’ Or ‘Charlie is such a passive aggressive, look he’s doing it again’ etc. The end result, of such ‘superior’ psychological insight though is the same as the unsophisticated stance, which we have all done and have had done to us: not listening. Whilst conducting our assessment of the other, as they converse with us, we are in fact guilty of the same sin as those ignorant minded folk who appear at every opportunity not to listen to what is being said to them. Both methodologies, from the ‘superior’ to the more base and unsophisticated, are snapshots of the same spectrum which exists to keep the temperature of our inner selves at a cool low, hovering around the freezing point, which also signifies a life lost to pointless self-certainty and social alienation.”

Please press the link above  the extract to find a very interesting blog

 

15078614_806768522796361_2181842011022534884_n.jpgvia About

The poems of Charles Bukowski

LondonNight2017https://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2007/sep/05/bukowski

 

“In the rush to file away Bukowski as a booze-addled fluke, his ability to lay down a truly beautiful line has often been overlooked. Take these lines describing the genesis of Los Angeles:

this land punched-in cuffed-out divided held like a crucifix in a deathhand

Or take his poem Tragedy of the Leaves which ends with the heartbreaking lines:

and I walked into a dark hall where the landlady stood execrating and final, sending me to hell, waving her fat, sweaty arms and screaming screaming for rent because the world has failed us both.

Reading his extensive back catalogue you will stumble upon a hundred, a thousand moments of brilliance like these.

Bukowski embodies the idea of the “punk poet” even better than the poets who came from the punk scene. Jim Carroll and Patti Smith were too in thrall to the romanticism of Rimbaud to truly “speak it plain”. It is Bukowski’s machine gun delivery that creates poetry that actually relates to the back-to-basics ethos of punk rock.

Unlike most poets, Bukowski was also a master prose writer. My favourite work of Bukowski’s has to be the short story collection Hot Water Music. This 1983 anthology is Bukowski at his prime, and contains some of the best writing the man ever produced: The Death of the Father (parts 1 and 2) is a heartbreaking – yet ghoulishly funny – dissection of the days following his father’s death. Some Hangover opens with the shocking premise that our narrator has just awoken with a hangover and no recollection of the night before, and is accused of molesting his neighbour’s daughters while in an alcoholic blackout. Not Quite Bernadette features the attention-grabbing opener: “I wrapped the towel around my bloody cock and called the doctor’s office.” What all of these stories share is a writing style that has been totally pared back, and a view of humanity that is cynical, deadpan, and almost entirely without judgment.”

Short eared Durham owl

Short-eared Durham owl
meditating over the dale's edge,
shadows the fields and folds
in elegant diurnal flight.

On windside,careful sight
may swoop to prey
and away.

Your yellow broad-eyed look,
at once both sharp and distant,
holds me.
Oh,silence,
Oh,wind on green,
Oh, earth,
Sky.

Immense your held vision,
sphere without centre,
pied geometer of flight,
sketch your descent and ascent.

Trees bunched by dry stone wall
call heart home.

 

A & E tonight

1,Mrs Smith:  accidentally pulled off the cat’s tail while cooking a chicken which the cat had caught.Unsure if A & E would treat cats.Accepted.
2.Mr Smith: collapsed with unstable angina after seeing  his cat with no tail.Solution, persuaded him it was a Manx cat until we found the appropriate glue.Cat OK.Man still wobbly
3 Angela Smith aged 14.Drunk and disorderly because of swigging brandy on seeing  a hallucinatory cat’s tail flying about.Admitted to  Donald Winnicott  Real Self Unit N.78
Expected to become real within 4 years if held correctly.Ironical as it was not a real hallucination.No vocabulary exists which can be understood by nurses with Master’s Degrees  to give the right label for believing Reality is a a mere Hallucination personal to  one’s self.
4 Jack Smith: fell down  the stairs as an attention seeking action.Broke all his fingernails but otherwise seems quite normal considering the rest of the family

signed: K.Settlement Ph.D [Bad language]
University College,Watford-on-Sea. [2004]
M A {Oxon}1991.Dissertation:On symmetry in differential operators {Failed}
M Sc.{ Watford] 2000 [How to change light bulbs with one hand using Newton’s laws of motion} [ almost managed to fail]

 

The coal and coke had tattooed her, we knew.

The summer heat  made cobblestones like stoves
The Coronation  happened,  I know now
We played with melted tar, industrial wains.

My mother’s hands were black and much beloved
The coal and coke had tattooed her, we knew.
The summer heat made cobbles hot as stoves.

In the road, we played our ancient games
The older children passed the knowledge down
We played with melted tar, industrial wains.

 

The bully boys  were cruel , did not heed love
A little boy had tried to be a clown
In summer heat, they beat him on the stones.

We were silent as they flaunted power again;
But in our hearts, we knew we’d let him down
We threw warn melted tar, industrial wains

 

And in our phantasy, he was alone.
Noone knew who threw the vicious stone
The summer heat  made cobbles feel like flames
We played with melted tar, Christ died again

 

What is irony?

WaterlooPlace2017https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/irony-satire-sarcasm/irony

Reserve irony for situations where there’s a gap between reality and expectations, especially when such a gap is created for dramatic or humorous effect.

In Greek, eiron meant a dissembler — someone who hides their true intentions. Today, we do something very similar when we employ irony, often by saying the opposite of what we really mean. The word can also refer to a situation that turns out to be amusingly different from what we expected: “I thought he had stolen the Fig Newtons, but the irony was that he thought the same thing of me.” Note that this is more than just an improbable coincidence!

Primary Meanings of irony

1.
n
incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs
2.
n
witty language used to convey insults or scorn
Full Definitions ofirony
1

n incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

“the irony of Ireland’s copying the nation she most hated”
Types:
Socratic irony

admission of your own ignorance and willingness to learn while exposing someone’s inconsistencies by close questioning
Type of:
incongruityincongruousness

the quality of disagreeing; being unsuitable and inappropriate

na trope that involves incongruity between what is expected and what occurs

Types:
dramatic irony

(theater) irony that occurs when the meaning of the situation is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play
Type of:
figurefigure of speechimagetrope

language used in a figurative or nonliteral sense
2

nwitty language used to convey insults or scorn

irony is wasted on the stupid”
Synonyms:
caustic remarksarcasmsatire
Type of:
humorhumourwitwitticismwittiness

a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter