I’ve had a really busy day, today
I planned my funeral, not the date, I say!
If I’m cremated I’ll have Joan of Arc
If I’m buried, let them play The Lark
I emptied all the drawers in my desk
I’ve not made a will, eternal pest!
I found five stick deodorants unused
There was the intention to be rude
To smell like a real woman does when nude.
A lot of artist’s rubbers and a fuse
There was soap and there were ear plugs in a case
Half a biscuit which I’m pleased to say I ate.
No envelopes and only a few pens
No spectacles but I found one single lens
Some ibuprofen and a box of tapes
The drawer was overflowing till it ached
I put all these things into a box
I’ll have to scrub the drawers out with Lux
Naturally, I left stuff on my only bed
I wish I’d put it all into the shed
I go upstairs and see the Lord has fled
Just what the writer ordered for the dead.
Stay in tune and he will contact you
The infernal broadband radio is new
I
