Phones

I am too concerned with my mental life to  answer any phones phonemes and phoney operators so I will not listen to the messages.
My cat just died.Please don’t leave a message
I’m in the bath so I am afraid of the phone falling in.Thanks
I am asleep so hang up.
I have got ” do not  disturb” on my phone.So try to, please.I’ll tell you the results.
My phone has Call Control.I can throw it at the wall and it won’t break
My phone can block you.And you.And Boris Johnson
My phone is better than yours because I  stuck glitter all over it and some mistletoe.
My phone might have spoken to Bibi  Netanyahu but I don’t know anything about it or him.He left no message unless it’s in a bottle.It’s a good excuse to get drunk before I see Theresa May.
My phone is here but I am not.If you have any spare money put it in the post.I need it.Coffee is £2.75 now!
I can’t understand myself at all.Am I here or not?