You’ll get eczema there as well

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Throw it on the ceiling to see how well it sticks.

Go   smirk on an egg

Whack, keep off my leg.

Ladies, ladies:
Do you leak and fear opprobrium?
Buy our special  pads then stick ’em on your bum

Forgot to wash your dirty hair today
Spray it with  our Polywash, it’ll look like stacks of hay

Do you fear your private parts might smell?
Wash with our carbolic soap and you’ll get eczema there as well

 

Why not buy a tube of our cortisone cream today?
It cures stuff like red nettle rash and sometimes men turn grey.

Heavy menstruation gives the government much  tax
Take ibuprofen now and you won’t need damn tampax

Home office?

Short of  needed space to store your  paper stacks
Glue them to the ceiling with pre-owned, large tampax.

Running out of printer ink is an evil sin
Sign up with your provider here and meet your evil twin

Empty your inbox, forward all your mail
We can  let you hire a thousand learned snails

OLDER PESTS? Press here. HERE

COLDER PESTS? Emigrate!