The leaves are turning red on my computer
The apples ripen better on TV.
But my friend says red won’t suit her
So for a new blue coat, she makes a plea.
But as I only learned to speak in BASIC
I do not know if she will understand.
If I write a letter, she’ll deface it.
For my letters tend to be too bland
An email is a different sort of kettle
Not the type we use for boiling fish
So let the old men find their mettle
And get a frozen fish from off a dish
Toss it into Heinz baked beans a-boiling
Let it simmer for a few long days
Then invite a friend for utter spoiling.
I’m sure she’ll inundate you with her praise.
Follow up with custard creams in gravy.
Serve the peanut butter on a tray
That’s what folk eat the Navy.
Eat and eat and pray and disobey.
How my heart sings 