Dear All
I have to write this as and when.I have just found I can do hundreds of courses free on Open Culture.So I shall not send any presents this year just a guide to which courses you might like.
Well.I went out this morning and caught the bus.Not in a fishing net,ahah.The driver was very nice.I can’t recall much more.Anyone Robert has asked me to buy some more makeup.Either that or he will leave home for ever.The problem is finding the right colour.The lady in Boots thought I was Ivory but it made me look like a ghost.So we settled on beige.Bloody beige.Pardon me,I hate beige but had to agree it covered up the many strange spots and marks I have acquired.If only Rob had bought me a silk pillow case 20 years ago,how different I might look.He said he’s never heard of them
I propose 2018 should be the year when all married men or lovers are forced to study fabric,sheets, and other niceties.That will give me a chance to steal Rob’s tools and his models and see what I can invent.
To give you more news,my son is going to Russia for a holiday.Better than the West Bank,ahaha.I hope.I see that WP uses the term Palestinian Territories as we have the honour of a couple of readers from there.I may write bad letters but it takes their minds off the Bedouins’ schools being razed to the ground,as it were.Why should Bedouins go to school? They were in the Negev before schools were invented.Oh,dear.
My daughter has just got a Ph.D in Anglo-Saxon.I wonder what kind of job she will get? Serving in Lidl’s? Washing fruit in Holland.Who knows.Maybe she will publish her thesis and it will sell like Harry Potter.Though few people in Britain can understand Anglo-Saxon despite that they are English [ so they claim].So I guess she will have to write a novel about bondage like Shifty Shades of Mauve.I do like mauve very much.It looks lovely with my blue lips and eyes.I have a mauve dress and some pyjamas.I judge by what I see here in the Town that pyjamas are acceptable for shopping in when topped by a fake fur coat or a faux acrylic biker jacket.
I don’t know what my husband would think if I wore those kind of things.He bought me some blue tights once.He said there were no blue stockings.I was glad as I hate suspenders.
It was hell menstruating with those and the gigantic brown knickers with irremovable hard bits where blood refused to come out of the fabric.Of course, the Bishop forbade us to use tampax as we would lose out virginity.How daft can those men get?Alas,very daft indeed.How can a Bishop know what it’s like to bleeding menstruate when you have to hide all the rubbish till the men go out and then we had rush in and put them on the fire.They didn’t do much good to the fire.I ask you! It shows that Christianity is nothing to do with Jesus.It’s concerned with blood,death,virginity and secrecy.What does that tell us? I don’t know either.It was hard washing those knickers and we only changed them once a week.In those days we still had pubic hair and as baths were bad for us,we could lie in bed picking off the dried blood clots unti day 7 when we had a bath.
I seem to have wandered away so I shall leave you here waiting for more thrilling feasts of words… look in the free dictionary.
I have to polish the kettle and kill some flies now.Then decide on my pudding. Yoghurt, tinned fruit or a walnut whip.Or rice pudding with raisins and cream set with gelatine in a mold and turned out onto a big plate.Until we eat it.It won’t last long here.Not like that boring old tinned custard and prunes.Who ever ate a prune willingly? The constipated pain wracked patient, that’s who
Cheers
Kristy and cat
How my heart sings 