Six ways to make sex different

1.Look at yourself naked in the mirror before your partner arrives.Then be thankful someone fancies you.Then laugh at the humour of life and cry for the lost beauty
2. Put Maltesers under the pillows then scream when you hear them crunch.Then share them and another bag you keep in the drawer for emergencies
3. Let the cat lie on top of you both.He won’t need much persuasion.
4 Play “The Ride of the Valkyries” on your smartphone while you are in bed.Then play with each other.
5.Pray aloud for God’s help  to ne able to make love once more when your lover believes you are an atheist.Keep them guessing.
6.Leave a funny message on your answering machine  which is by the bed and ring your landline with your mobile.