The cat is bigger than me!

My husband likes to sleep on the rug
Without you?
There’s only room for his mistress and her cat and him
Do you allow it?
The cat is bigger than me!
Are you sure it’s a cat?
It doesn’t speak English so I can’t ask it!

My wife has twisted feet
What  a  pity she’s not a chair
Why?
You can unscrew them and replace.
I tried to replace her but she got angry.
I meant the feet.
I wanted to replace her whole body.
That’s really horrible.
Yes, how did you know?
I saw her once having a bath on the roof!
Where were you?
I don’t know.I repressed it
Is it unconscious?
It is now!
So is it unconscious in English?
Well, it could be in Latin.
Why?
Because I say so!

My sister is never jealous of me.
She has nothing to be jealous about.
How about my eyes?
What’s  the use if you can’t see?
A good point.What’s that spider on your nose doing?
Making a thread  in the conversation
I’ve had enough.
I’m afraid it doesn’t speak English
But it might understand it!
You are very stupid.
Yes, my IQ is 55.Yet I learned English.
How?
Well, that’s my secret along with the first 200 numbers in pi.
Numbers in pie.Are you bonkers?
And so  say all of us