Eeh by gum, I wish that I was here

I went visiting a rather silent neighbour
I thought that I could manage fine
After sitting feeling blank and boring
I went home to get  so drunk that I could dine

I had a problem with the oven settings
The sausages were as black as  grandad’s skin
The batter turned to biscuit thin and hardened
I ‘ll never  ever want a Toad again

I sat down, it was only Sunday evening
Six more meals to cook this coming week.
I must buy an oven thermometer
If only they made one that liked to speak.

What are all the quiet people feeling?
Would they like to talk but can’t for fear?
I find it hard to tolerate  their total silence
Eeh by gum, I wish that I was here