Did you like Mrs May’s leather trousers?
Is Theresa May a strong person?
Do you like Trump’s hair?
How did you like the Urgent Care Centre?
Did you break you leg or was it always bent?
What do you think of the new buses.I fell over backwards on one.
Wow, there’s a new bus stop.If only there were enough buses
Do you listen to music on your phone?I can’t stand up on mine!
Would you emigrate to the USA?
Do they have Chip Shops over there?
Do you think it’s ok to forcibly pull passengers off a plane?Only Asians, you say.Have they not suffered enough?
Did you see a new butcher’s shop has opened?
They sell smoked haddock
Were you always a vegetarian?
Have you got a postal vote?
Why not?
Are you tired of politics,elections and referenda?
No,I’,m not showing off I was born a like this.
My mother tried to send me back but we didn’t have Amazon then otherwise I’d be a book!
Day: May 4, 2017
Who was here before our voices screamed?
Does God exist? What can this question mean?
Existence is a concept of the mind
Who can weigh or measure the divine
We wonder if God ever has been seen
He was there before the eyes unblind
Does God exist? What can this question mean?
Who was here before our voices screamed?
Was the essence of the world designed?
Who can weigh or measure the divine
Someone wrote a story , set a scene
The Burning Bush spoke in its own good time
Does God exist? What might this question mean?
We may meddle outside of the lines,
The danger of hubris is well defined
Who would weigh or measure the divine?
I write with my old pen on paper lined
Infinite the resources of the mind
Does God exist? What will this question find?
Can we approach or kill what was divine?
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And petals decorative shower 2
Though the berry’s rich and sweet
As are its siblings from bright flowers
The old blackbird disdains to eat
Like a human in defeat
Paralysed, inert for hours
Though their life is rich and sweet.
From outer life, they now retreat
Yet the mind has purpose, power
So the dark bird will not eat.
The conscious mind in its conceit
Thinks it’s all and then will cower
Sad since life is near and sweet.
Still, in me, my heart will beat
And petals decorative shower
Oh, the dark bird will not eat.
All around, mature trees tower
But the human world’s ordure
Though red tberries are still sweet
The old blackbird for hate won’t eat
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So my gloves get much too wet
Doctor may I have a word
My head’s confused, my visions blurred
I walked into the wardrobe door
And all my clothes jumped to the floor
I had nice burglars but they left
I had no riches for their theft
I have cheap pendants and a watch
Nothing much for them to touch
I burned my dinner and the pan
I don’t know when all this began
Could it be a UTI?
Will you please test me today?
My feet are dry ; my hands still sweat
So my gloves get much too wet
I think I’ll lie down and forget
The gelatine will never set
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Sick By Shel Silverstein
“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more–that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut–my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/sick-by-shel-silverstein
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How to write funny poems
1. Read Responsibly: Never seek to copy the work of others. As read your favorite poems, pay attention to what you find funny and humorous. Often you’ll realize that your favorite poems are the ones that display the personality of the poet. The majority of funny poems come from funny people who do not care whether or not their poems are considered funny. In other words, you must find your own unique sense of humor. Learn to make yourself laugh and the others will follow. Humor is purely a matter of opinion. Read responsibly. Read poetry to entertain yourself but never to get new ideas for your own poems. If you do, your new poetry will be someone’s old poetry. Some of the greatest humorous poets of our day contribute their success to writing their own unique poetry without contaminating their style with that of other writers. That being said, you should still read my poems. 😉
2. Make a List:Most poets suff
How my heart sings 