Mary was at the dentist’s wearing her sea blue lightly padded coat and a pair of red boots.She looked down at herself and wondered why she had stopped wearing dull, dark clothing.She sat languidly in the waiting room sipping water from a machine nearby.
Suddenly the TV on the wall showed a picture of the Prime Minister holding Donald Trump’s hand
Are they getting married, Mary wondered?
Theresa May stepped forward and said, My husband and I …. oh, sorry.I am calling a Genital Erection in June.
A man rushed forward and took Mrs May away before the News Reader informed the world that A General Election was to be held in June but the PM would not be debating about anything live on TV.
Thank God, for that Mary thought.Although she might say a few rude and thrilling words befoe being carried out;it would be less boring.After the Referendum most Britons were fed up with politics and all the arguments.
Mary said to the nurse: It would be my husband’s birthday tomorrow but he died two years ago.
The door had been opened and the doctor’s head receptionist was rushing in
It is not two years, she shouted at Mary.My husband died before yours.
I didn’t realise you wanted me to say it is one year 10 months and two weeks plus a few hours and minutes since he died, Mary informed her gently..She opened her green leather briefcase and took out a tape recorder
.Would you like to say it again, she continued.And maybe explain why it matters to you.After all it is not a competition.We might have shared our feelings and our sorrow instead of arguing.
Emile Mary’s cat came into the room followed by Annie her late husband’s mistress.
Why are you here?
Emile had a  premonition that someone might be rude to you and  he has sharpened his claws.As I have.
Indeed Annie’s nails were painted red and filed into  sharp points almost like a cat’s.
Well, this lady has been shouting at me but I don’t understand why she is angry that I had not calculated the number of minutes it is since Stan died.The receptionist looked very sad and rushed away.
Maybe she has nobody to talk to, Emile miaowed.She needs a cat but I am not moving to her house.I love where I am
Thank you , Emile, Annie said.Tears had come to her eyes thinking of the two widows confronting each other instead of comforting.Her green eyeshadow and eye cream ran at an acute angle down her cheeks as her head was on one side.
It was so beautiful, Mary took a photo of Annie with her Windows phone.
Where is that pink and green  mascara from, she asked
It is by Leibnitz and Newton of  Bury St Edmunds and Harris.
What, live nits ? Emile purred,
It’s German, Annie said.Is it “love not”?
Do they really make it in Harris? I don’t mean love I mean make up
Yes, it’s that green stuff that grows on rocks on the seashore.
Yes, the rocks can’t  roll so they do gather moss.
Can’t you get moss at home?
Maybe, but I like the chemist.He looks like Leonard Cohen.I loved him, you know
I am so sad he has died but he would not like the USA nowadays.He might get pushed off an aeroplane and have his nose broken.It’s a risk going over there now.Seems the cats are out of all the bags nowadays.
And so say all of us