Jesus swept and Martha dusted

I am a  Christian woman because sometimes Jesus swept.Though why no man imitated him is beyond me.
Mary Magdalen was the first chiropodist on record.She cried when she saw nails and annointed feet.
Mary Magdalen was not a tart.She was thinking about Quantum Mechanics and was not in touch with her body.Any money was invisible to her naked eye.
Peter portrayed Jesus and he’d never been to any art lessons.
Do you believe men stalked on water?I do.They have been like that since God created woman.Why can’t they do it once a  year like stags?
The apostles couldn’t catch fish as they didn’t darn their nets.Jesus sewed them and how.
The acts of the apostles would benefit  from  adding the reveries  and dreams the Apostles
Do you confuse Epistles and Apostles? Me, too.
St Paul was a great poet.He made it all up himself and he was  the first romantic poet according to A N Wilson
If I saw a burning bush I’d call the Fire Brigade.Does that explain the Death of God?
I’ve heard that still small voice.It’s my husband whispering in my ear.I hope!
I wonder if Jesus ever ate a sandwich.There are a few deserts  near the Holy Land
But they didn’t have sliced bread, of course.
Is it true they had no icecream at that time?Did they have Milk Tray.
I know the  Jews discovered God.That’s what Hitler didn’t like: The Ten Commandments.He wanted enforced Evolution  of a Master Race.Which turned out different from Natural Selection.Would you select him?God neither.
I just wonder why Hitler  lasted so long.Look at the Old Testament and see G-d there.Has he/she evolved too?
I  wish I could have been a code breaker.I was born too late despite being premature.
I’ve always been a bit rapider than thou.Hell or heaven? Let’s go slower.