Too sudden

I hate the shock of the doorbell early
I’m still half dreaming
Then I have to shout to the postman
I lie down again to get back  into my body
I am still in   a dream  about Ealing
I think for a moment there is someone in the other room
Then I remember.
At least I don’t have to worry about
How my mood might affect them
If I have a mood,that is.
Do we always have a mood?
I wonder why I don’t fill a flask with tea
I used to do one for both of us after washing up.
I open my  eyes and sit looking out of the window
I drink tea and ignore the newspaper.
It’s a bit hard to read that print.
Then a rush of gladness comes in.
Even now I smell the earth under the city streets.
I imagine cats prowling around the trees
Maybe a tortoise forgot to hibernate.
Where’s the robin?
Nature, not human, sustains.
Shapes and patterns of sunlight on the walls
I turn to you
You have left me.