How to dress Hot!Wear two of everything

If you are happy to wear strange colours that most of us are not then  the Sales will satisfy your lust for clothes of high quality

1.Buy a wool coat for only £79 from a top make.Why?
Because it is ORANGE!
2.Buy  one ball of mohair and knit yourself a hat.Don’t  make it red or it will CLASH with the orange coat.
3.Knit yourself a Mobius strip neck warmer in merino wool.I invented it but now it’s in fashion
4 Wear men’s woollen vests–  a good reason to get married.Check the vest first.
5.Wear two of everything if you are thin enough not to appear  gigantic
2 Vests, 2 pairs pants.2 prs tights, etc. BUT Not 2 pairs of  JEANS.You won’t be able to walk.Ditto shoes
Drawback: twice as much washing.
Advantage: Save money on central heating.
6.Move to another  hotter country.Remember though you will be a FOREIGNER then.
So maybe not a European country?Remember ,no NHS.
7 Wear 2 nightgowns
8 Put a fleece sleeping bag between your sheets.Leave  the unzipped side on the side where you exit the bed  in the middle of the night.
9 Avoid birth control devices.Get your partner to sleep in another fleece bag.That will make it hard for him to get   near you.Don’t wrestle unless your bed is very big.You might  fall off and what would the  Fire Brigade  think?
10 Do a lot of cleaning and vacuuming instead of watching TV.. it gets one warm and the room clean too.
11 Go for a run.
12 Stay in bed for 3 months till meteorological spring arrives.