Confession for beginners

Pray Father ,sieve me your blessing
Where you raised a Catholic?
No,I was born one.
But where you baptised?
Wow,you are very nosy.
Well, in here there are no secrets
Well,I am a chef,you see.
Well I  don’t see but I can imagine.
I have been away for 4 years in the maze.
In Northern Ireland?
No,in Saffron Walden
But that is only 2  dimensional.How could you spend so long in it
I’m a   short straight line
We’re all equal now so don’t congratulate yourself.Are you real?
I believe so.But can I confess?
What have you done?
Poisoned Ivy.
With full consent?
No,she had no idea.
I mean did you consent wilfully?
I suppose so.
Well,go to the police.
She’s not dead.
Well,you’ll have to try harder next time.Only sinners can be saved
I always thought it was unfair
Hermeneutically, they think we all sin at times.
My name is not Eamon Yewtickally.
Never mind.Maybe when you come again it will be.
Will I come again?I thoughtChristians didn’t believe that.
It’s just a manner of speaking.
I expect more from a man of the cloth
I’m just a man of the paper now.
Are you a reporter?
I might be.What else have you done?
How much will you  pay me?
That’s no way to talk to a Rabbi
But this is a Catholic church
I am standing in for Father Brown
Could he not get a Catholic?
Well,you see Jesus was a Jew, so it’s all ok.
Don’t you feel annoyed?
What about?
Jesus ruining your lives.
We all like arguing but he did take it  a bit further than planned
Who planned it?
Zadok the priest.
Was he a Catholic?
No, the Church didn’t exist till after Paul of Tarsus.
Well,while I am here let me say I have never  been anti-Semitic
Well, any other sins?
You can’t give me absolutiont?
I can aim my water pistol at you!
What would Jesus say?
He never mentioned confession.
So who invented it?
Augustine the Hippo wrote abook called Confessions
You’d have to be very self confident to publish your sins.I jusy blog mine.
And how does that make you feel?
Not how,who.
Who was it?
A very nice old woman.
Well better look next time.
Next time! How about my firm purpose of amendment?
It’s gone with the sinned
And my penance?
Go thou and sin no more