Day: June 18, 2016

Writing poetry about civil rights

P1000324

 

http://www.powerpoetry.org/actions/7-tips-writing-poetry-civil-rights

 

Cats do not need civil rights
If need be, they give us a bite
But  love’s not enough
For folk who live rough
Houses and  rights fill their sight

Wasps

The garden is full of wildflowers
Brought on by the sun and the showers
I wonder if wasps
Pay their own costs
As they nest in porch and I cower.

I should have insurance for bites
For stings and for horrible sights.
I see politicians
Drained by false ambitions.
It’s enough to turn green people white.

Funny poem

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100 Best Poems

A Warning on Spontaneous Combustion

by Stuart McLean

O whisky is the king of drinks,
Renowned the world o’er,
But here’s a word o’ caution,
Tae think of when ye pour.
There’s a certain combination,
That tastes so very good,
But when it hits your tummy,
And mixes with your food.
That’s when the trouble starts,
For yer pleasure hits overload,
And half an hour later,
Ye’ll suddenly explode.
So there ye are in the pub,
Completely engulfed in flames,
And yer good wife’s dashing home,
Tae lodge insurance claims.
Well now that I have told ye,
Don’t say ye’ve no’ been warned,
So don’t try it oot yersel’,
Or ye’ll soon be bein’ mourned.
 

Emile visits the vet

  •  

    Photo0507Stan realized it was time for Emile to have his annual flu jab.He stopped polishing the windows and picked up the phone.
    Hello,it’s Stan here.Can I make an appointment for Emile?
    Yes, come today if Emile has had a bath!
    Are you joking?
    Yes,the receptionist responded cheerfully.
    Actually he did have a bath and now can swim breaststroke!
    How amazing,she said sweetly.
    Stan got out Emile’s travelling basket.He put some copies of The Independent inside in case Emile was bored.
    Here,Emile,I’m taking you for a ride in the car.kindly step into your basket,
    Can’t I sit by you and wear a seat belt?
    I fear it’s illegal.
    OK,granddad,Emile answered jauntily.He climbed into the basket and sat up staring out boldly with his great amber eyes.Rhe doorbell rang.
    Hello,Annie,Would you like to come to the vet’s with us?
    She looked down at her violet velvet track suit and purple trainers with real gold laces.
    Yes,I’ll sit in the back with Emile.
    After ten minutes they arrived and parked the car under an elm tree.Stan carried the basket steadily not wanting the poor cat to fall in an undignified manner,Annie looked at her green nails.
    Do you like my nail varnish,Stan?
    To be honest,I prefer shell pink.
    Why is that,darling?
    It is more feminine!
    Feminine!But you can see I’m feminine!
    I like you to be even more feminine.
    Oh,yes ,agreed Emile,So do I.
    You men,she cried sweetly,never satisfied.
    I wouldn’t say that,my America,my Newfoundland!
    What’s up? Swallowed the dictionary.
    It’s a poem,actually.
    You’ve been reading again.It’s bad for you.
    Don’t you like to be my new found land?
    A bit late to ask now,she murmured seductively.
    Next moment they were in the empty waiting room.Then a man came in with a big black dog.Emile stared fiercely and the dog whimpered and lay down on the floor.
    The vet came out and asked Stan to bring Emile in.Emile gave a yell at the dog before Stan shut the door.
    So,said the beautiful young vet,how is pussy today.Emile remained silent
    .He’s fine,just needs his flu jab.muttered Stan.
    Come now,Emile come out of there.But Emile was clinging to his basket with ll his sharp claws.
    Are you afraid Emile?He asked kindly
    No,I’m not afraid,I’m just acting how vets expect cats to act.
    So Emile speaks English?
    He knows French too.
    Je t’aime Emile.
    Bedankt,madame.
    Stop showing off and get out of there,she doesn’t speak Dutch.
    Mein mutter wast immer krank,cried Emile.
    Get out now!
    Emile came out slowly and stood by this good lady.She looks a bit like Annie, he whispered.The vet took out a small needle and swiftly injected Emile.
    What a good boy,she sang,would you like a jelly baby?
    A jelly baby!Cats don’t eat jelly babies!
    Well, have a go!
    Emile stalked back to his basket,put on some glasses and began to read the editorial in The Independent.Stan was hoping to make a suggestive remark to the vet,but Annie came in.
    Hurry up,there’s a thunderstorm coming.Her nails were now pink.
    Did you change your nail varnish?
    No,the greenz were  artificial nails!I took them off.
    Can I have some claw varnish.demanded Emile
    What color?
    I fancy teal,Emile miaowed.
    Teal!How ludicrous!
    What about red?
    Too pretentious.
    I don’t think I’ll bother then,the cat said languidly
    We men don’t have to bother about such things.
    Well,you are lucky said Annie.
    I hate makeup and nail varnish,blow dries and manicures but I don’t feel feminine without it.
    You feel very feminine to me said Stan,running his hand softly along her forearm and patting her behind!
    Stan!Not here in the road
    Why not?enquired Emile.It looks ideal to me if you go behind those bushe
    Annie jumped into the car and drove away leaving Stan to carry Emile to the bus stop for a tedious journeyhome.Then she reappeared,opened the door and said,
    Come on now let’s all go home.I’m sorry I drove away.I’m feeling a bit blue today.
    They got in and arrived safely home where Stan brewed a big pot of tea and let Annie sit on the sofa with her  feet on cushion.He rubbed her head gently.Lovely,she purred.I like having my head stroked.
    So do I,said Emile loudly but alas they were too busy to hear or care.So Emile fell asleep and dreamed he was only a character in a story

Stan has a purple bath and Annie has an accident

  • Stan admired the gleaming purple bath.He was so thrilled by the performance of his microfibre cloth.Mary had gone to Bluewater Shopping Centre looking for a long cardigan to disguise her curves.Stanley rather liked them but she didn’t ask his opinions any more.
  • Out of the blue the doorbell rang.He flew downstairs and opened the door.”Can you take this parcel in for the lady next door?” The postman asked wearily.
    “Oh,fine Stan stuttered.He was trying to avoid Annie but here she was,coming down the road of superior semi detached houses suitable for ex-headmasters ,small businessmen,econometricians,surgeons,pie salesmen and  theologians.
    She was wearing perfume and green sandals from TK Maxx,light khaki tencel cropped combat trousers with a purple silky overblouse, not to mention her matching raspberry  and cream underwear .Round her neck hung a miniature grandfather clock on a solid gold chain,and she had three  imitation gold and silver watches on each  of her three wrists making a total of 333 watches according to Carnap’s theory of logic and Russell’s terrible handwriting.
    Stanley didn’t know that she had a mobile phone stuffed into her bra—one advantage for the larger sized woman.In fact she had 4 down there in her raspberry coloured glamour bra,as she had a phobia about their batteries running down all at once.So the more she had the lower the probability of her being without a phone whilst out and about the town and countryside.So she reasoned in her womanly  way.
    Just then one  phone rang.She rummaged around to the consternation  and turmoiluation of Stanley and the postman.She plucked out a pale blue phone.”Hi,it’s Annie” she murmured.”Hi Annie, it’s Dave the paramedic with  carpentry skills.You’ve not rung 999 lately so we were wondering if all was well!”
    “Oh,I’m terribly sorry.I’ll try to phone later on.Thanks,Petal.”
    “That was Dave,our ex-transvestite converted paramedic”,she informed the men.
    The postman galloped off on his donkey, his bags full of undelivered males.It’s a tough but interesting life in Knittingham.Would you like a male delivery?Contact Parcel Force without delay.
    Annie went into Stan’s house and demanded a cup of coffee.”Won’t it make you put weight on” Stan quipped ironically.”Do you think I’m too plump?” she responded anxiously..
    “Too plump for what?” he quipped amiably.
    “To attract men,of course!”
    “No,my angel,you are just perfect”he quacked definitively.
    “Nor are you an angel,strictly speaking,as I have good reason to know.Thank you,my beloved for services rendered so generously and freely.”
    “Oh,my goodness I must get home to render the fat from the beef and to make some gooseberry jam.” Stanley looked uneasy.
    “I wonder why babies are left under gooseberry bushes? The thorns are so big it’s quite dangerous getting them out,or so Mary told me when Lyra was born.”
    She was covered in scratches and wouldn’t come near me for months.”
    Why don’t you come upstairs to look at our new purple bathroom suite.Since the Royal Wedding it’s the in colour.The gold taps were expensive but they do go well.”
    “My God,let me out.” she bawled,”It reminds me of the Vatican and that’s no place for a lady”,”Not even a gay lady?” Stan muttered parsimoniously, as he licked her eyelashes gently.
    “Stop that.I’ve got my Yves St Laurent mascara on.” “I prefer the taste of the Chanel,”he disclosed privately in an internal  secret memo.[available in 50 years]
    “Why not lick my neck instead?” she enquired curiously as she tripped over Emile the cat, who had slipped into the bathroom as usual  to see what they were up to,as it were,you know what I mean,catch my drift?
    She fell floppily into the bath and banged her head on the taps.
    “Oh,gosh,better ring 999″ Stan said to Emile.”Have you got your catphone warehouse mobile on you?””Yes ,it’s in my y-fronts”, the cat amiably miaowed.
    “Hi Dave,this is Emile.Can you come quick.Annie is unconscious and what is worse,she has scratched the new bath.”

    In fact it was Emile who had scratched the bath that morning but since Stan had not noticed he hoped to, callously, pass the blame onto poor  Annie.How cruel can a cat be?  Ask any mouse! To be continued  when she comes round.
    And so lie all of us

The holier than thou vet

There once was a kind  vet of good name
who fluffed Emile’s fur with a comb.
when Stan tried to pay,
He waved him away.
He said,I’m soon going over to Rome.
Stan asked what had made him convert.
He gave him a very loud smirk.
I cannot say why,
But I hope when I die
I’ll be higher than those from the Kirk!
Stan never goes to church now
As far as Emile can tell.
He likes talking to sprites
During the night,
Emile likes to meet them as well.
Stan is much holier than the vet.
For he knows how pained human hearts get.
He prays under the trees
with dozens of bees.
so with God he goes Hi, tet-a- tete

Emile, the cat, writes in his diary


I had  a full day watching Stan hoover the bedroom. and re-hang the curtainsHe found 5 pence on the rug.
That makes 60 pence this week.He swore when he saw the duvet had slipped to one side of the bed.I jumped up and stood on it while he pulled it back into place;a bit of fun.I can’t help him much but I hope being watched pleases him.
He tried on Mary’s dressing gown and looked in the mirror.Then he swore again.I think her likes her clothes but that was not a nice sight.
She was out giving another lecture and running a seminar
on something called “Rings and Groups.” It sounds like a dance or a sacred rite.I’d love to go in her wicker basket to the University and listen to a lecture.I believe she’s very popular and is always pleased to prove that “e” is not an algebraic number.
Well,it’s obvious………even a cat knows it’s a letter!
Does she think it’s another more advanced kind of number? Beats me.
What with that and all the times she brings in pies…she has me wondering what mathematics is now.Why does it frighten people?
Cats like me love a nice meat pie and will run in rings or circles
mewing “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” for hours if we get some Earl Grey tea .
We are not into groups though except maybe groups of mice.
Now where’s my milk?I’m worn out writing my blog.
Still,I hope you know what “e” and “pie” are now!
Mioaw.Next week:Imaginary numbers is her theme but  how will I know what she’s planning  to imagine?Can you plan to imagine?

Day,the origins

day (n.) Look up day at Dictionary.com
Old English dæg “day,” also “lifetime,” from Proto-Germanic *dagaz “day” (source also of Old Saxon, Middle Dutch, Dutch dag, Old Frisian dei, Old High German tag, German Tag, Old Norse dagr, Gothic dags), according to Watkins, from PIE *agh- (2) “a day” considered as a span of time. He adds that the Germanic initial d- is “of obscure origin.”

Not considered to be related to Latin dies (see diurnal), but rather to Sanskrit dah “to burn,” Lithuanian dagas “hot season,” Old Prussian dagis“summer.” Meaning originally, in English, “the daylight hours;” expanded to mean “the 24-hour period” in late Anglo-Saxon times. The day formerly began at sunset, hence Old English Wodnesniht was what we would call “Tuesday night.” Names of the weekdays were not regularly capitalized in English until 17c. Day off first recorded 1883; day-tripper first recorded 1897. The days in nowadays, etc. is a relic of the Old English and Middle English use of the adverbial genitive.

What is free verse?

 

 

1yqum52oyl9ai_lhttp://literarydevices.net/free-verse/

 

Example #4

Like a skein of loose silk blown against a wall
She walks by the railing of a path in Kensington Gardens,
And she is dying piece-meal
of a sort of emotional anemia.

And round about there is a rabble
Of the filthy, sturdy, unkillable infants of the very poor.
They shall inherit the earth.

In her is the end of breeding.
Her boredom is exquisite and excessive…..
will commit that indiscretion.

(The Garden by Ezra Pound)