1 in 3 1 in 3 women in the UK go for 3 days without washing.
1 in 3 men in the uk go for 4 days without noticing.
Having a hot shower daily is bad for you.
A man in Canada who lives in the wilderness gets washed daily with a helmet full of hot water and a rag.He washes his hair with bicarbonate of soda.
Think of all the money we might save!
You dissolve the soda in a bowl of a hot water.Lean over and soak your hair
Then repeat
Then use plain water to rinse.
Maybe this might help my hair!
How about washing the cat’s feet?
Day: June 17, 2016
Home’s our test
Don’t unset the settling heart
Don’t cosh your dirty sinners in public
Doubt is the beginning not the mending of wisdom
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man stealthy not nice
Beasts can feast, but breast is best
East, west, home’s our test
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they spy
Empty vessels make the most poised
Enough is as good as a breast
Even a worm will learn some geometry
Every crowd has some madmen fighting
Every frog wants to be gay
Every skittle likes to boil.Every kettle wants to fall
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I passed out
Sister Anselum had a big cane
Which she believed to be good for the brain
All my year in her class
My mind was in trash
But I passed out, so as not to explain.
Miss Maycroft showed me how to read maps
But said infants must still enjoy naps.
We had little beds
Where we all played dead.
Until the poor lady got into a flap.
The atlas impressed me with its grace;
How the whole world was laid out in space
Such geometric progression
Enlivened the lessons.
And held my mind in sweet embrace
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One single letter
My daughter is said to be haughty
Whereas my cat is content to be naughty
Just one single letter
Can change a word for the better.
And leaving one out makes it shorter
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How naughty
Stan and Annie have been having such a lovely time since Mary went off.Stan has quite given up his addiction to microfibre cloths and polishing the windows.He and Annie can now make love at night and go out for trips in the day time.
Emile’s diary is getting quite full although he is worried he may be banned from sleeping on the foot of the bed soon as he may be in their way.How will he know what they get up to?
Luckily there is a gap at the bottom of the door so he should be able to see them in the mirror opposite the bed.They usually light the bedside lamp so as to see into each other’s eyes.
~Annie is a very bold,confident woman.Despite being rather plumper than is medically advised she loves her body and lives happily in it now she has true love.
One morning Stan goes down to make some tea whilst
~Annie is a very bold,confident woman.Despite being rather plumper than is medically advised she loves her body and lives happily in it now she has true love.
One morning Stan goes down to make some tea whilst
Annie comes to.
“Stan,come here quickly!”
“What’s wrong,my little lamb chop?”
“I feel sick!”
“Was it those old sausages we ate up last night?”
“No,it’s a different sort of sick!”
“You don’t mean………..?”
“Yes,Stan,I’m afraid a miracle has happened!”
“But you are 55 and I’m 90.Surely we can’t have a baby!”
“Well,the ways of God are strange.” she murmured.
“I don’t want to bring God into it.” he riposted.
“Are you not pleased we are still fertile?” she asked
him humorously.
“Well,in the abstract I might be but in the concrete it
could be awkward.” he said furtively
“What do you mean?”
“Well,Mary will be coming back in a couple of months,you
know”
“We don’t have to tell her you are the father.I could
pretend it was the new Vicar at St Andrew’s”
“But he’s gay!”
“Not many men are able to resist my charms and skills.”
“I can believe that,”Stan answered lubriciously.
“But will you have to seduce him soon before he notices
you are pregnant>”
“I wasn’t thinking of actually going to bed with
him,”said Annie with a smile.
“Oh,dear.I was looking forward to that,”Emile murmured
under his breath.
“That would have made my diary into a best seller.”
“Gay vicar seduces middle aged harlot who is now
expecting.”
It sounds a bit like the old Bible stories except they
had no vicars in those days.But miracles like older
women bearing children did happen so…who knows?
Stan and Annie got dressed and went into the kitchen.
They were both looking confused.
“You don’t want an abortion do you?” he enquired
tenderly.
“No way.” she replied softly.
“I love you so much,I could not wish for more than to
bear your child.~”
“In that case,I’ll tell Mary.She is a very wise woman in
many ways,though a bit lacking in the earthier side of
life.She has not slept with me for thirty years or
more.”
“Perhaps she thought you were too old?” said Annie.
“No,she never enjoyed it.She just put up with it as she
wanted a baby.”
“Maybe you did not turn her on!”
“I did my best,but she preferred reading Proust and
Wittgenstein.”
“I wonder of she has Asperger’s syndrome?”
“Well,they do find social life trying but I suppose she
can’t blame you for loving another?”
“No,she’s very broadminded.I’ll suggest we all move in
together.I’ll divorce her but she can have the big
bedroom and we’ll have the guest room with the en
suite.”
“I think this will be fun.”
“Well,not all of it but it will be intriguing,”
“So no need to seduce the Vicar,then?”
“We’ll leave him out of it.He might fall in love with
you and then what would happen?”
“God only knows,”She answered humorously as she went
into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.
Read more about these naughty people next week
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How Mary invented Toad in the Hole
When Mary was newly married, women were still expected to do all the cooking.
Oh,dear she sighed as she got off her sports bike and went onto the house.
I am so exhausted but we can just have sausages tonight,she thought.
Stan was very fond of pancakes so to augment the simple meal she decided to make some batter in the liquidiser and she even had some fresh lemons.
Emile was only a kitten but could speak a few words in English
What is for my dinner,he asked pensively.
Would you like some sausages,Mary asked him thoughtfully.
OK, the cat said in a grumbling voice.I’d love a kipper more though
Just like Stan.Stan had been out in a fishing boat from Whitby once.When they were up there he and Mary visited the smoking parlour where herrings where smoked with real smoke.I don’t believe it was provided by men smoking cigarettes though.It was from a fire.
Mary put the sausages into a roasting tin and browned them under the grill.Then she put them down on the table to wait while she got the batter out of the liquidiser so she could wash the goblet before it got sticky.All of a sudden Emile darted across the kitchen as he saw a mouse in the corner.Mary was knocked off her balance and so the batter flew out of the goblet into the roasting tin.
What a disaster.Both courses of the meal ruined in one sweep.Mary almost cried.Until she realised the batter was sizzling in the dripping so she put the roasting tin into the oven on a medium heat…. and so it was a new dish was invented
When Stan arrived home he was attracted by the lovely smell.Not from Mary,no, from the oven.
What are you cooking,darling, he cried.
Mary was embarrassed as she didn’t want to tell him how she fell over.Why it’s new dish I have got from a very new cookery book. that has not yet been published.
Stan thought that was rather odd but as he hoped for some hanky panky later on he remained silent,a tactic I highly recommend
Mary cooked some sprouts and carried the food to the table which Stan had laid.
Delicious, he cried as he ate the hot batter.What’s for pudding,dearest?
Mmmm, yoghurt, Mary answered,or hot grilled spiced peaches with thin cream.
I know you like Jam Roly Poly or Spotted Dick but I’ve not had time to do that.We can have one at the weekend.
I’ll just have an apple,he cried.Will you play, Eve?
And so play all of us.
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Wind dismays the flowering rose
Apples hang low near the ground. robins chirrup all around. sun on glowing maple leaves gives a red glow that deceives. Autumn air is flowing near, though it's still bright summer here. wind dismays the flowering rose as with arrogance it blows. Leave me one flower for my eyes. Leave me roses,as I sigh. Leave me not my dearest one. Soon enough we shall be gone. What remains is love alone. If your heart is not of stone, Fear not sorrow,fear not woe. Into this earth all must go.
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Please call later
Please call back later.I am in the washing machine.
Please call back tomorrow as my deodorant has run out.
Please smile when you leave your message.
Please come round now.I need to change the duvet cover.
Please call later I am inside the duvet cover,
Please call later.I am covered in Tide with bleach.
Please do a video call to admire my new blonde hair.
Please call later .My boyfriend is here.
Please call next week.I am reading Little Dorrit
Please call an ambulance,my boyfriend is pale and hungry.
If you have committed adultery don’t tell me!
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What does naughty mean?
Definition of naughty in English:
naughty
Pronunciation: /ˈnɔːti/
Phrases
the naughty step
(also the naughty corner)British informal
A place where a child is sent after misbehaving in order to reflect on their actions:whenever I did something bad, my uncle would make me sit in the naughty corner
Derivatives
Words that rhyme with naughty
forty, haughty, pianoforte, rorty, shorty, sortie, sporty, UB40, warty
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More tolerant and less likely to retaliate
What I used to draw a lot were these three objects
If we hide what we fear it is bad for us,apparently.So does it follow we should reveal our secrets to the world? Or maybe to a friend…..I read an article by an American psychiatrist once ; when he worked in a big hospital he asked each new patient.
Who did you annoy to get sent here?
Because many people have peculiar ways, but it depends on their environment whether people tolerate them.Many people hear voices and there is now a society for them.Most are normal and lead good lives.The fear that you are going mad makes life very hard.So we should have societies for other people like maybe those who see ghosts.
When I was very young I can just remember how the chairs seemed alive to me and houses too,The windows were eyes and the door was a mouth.And on the wall was a big picture of the three bears.When I was about 5 I realised it was a bridge over a river with three sections.That was disappointing to my infant mind
I mention this, because, if we can remember how sometimes we saw something as quite different to how others would have seen them, it might make us more tolerant.And that would be good for all of us.
And if we know we have hurt others we may be less judgemental.
The main problem I feel is that like the lady who was shouting at me on Sunday that often we have no idea we have hurt someone ; at the same time we imagine people hurt us deliberately when they may just be tired or angry with their partner or child.
I think often we should bite our lip as it’s too easy to escalate a little problem into a war.
I read once good phrases
Don’t retaliate
Don’t seek revenge
My first drawing
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Horrific killing of Jo Cox
I am shocked but not utterly surprised about this wonderful MP has been killed.People have been acting and talking very aggressively about the EU and our position.But as an older woman I just feel so sad that a younger woman has lost so much of her life for nothing.Except that the shock may make us all think.This man who has been arrested called “Britain First”.
Working class people have been suffering during the unnecessary austerity programme which left the wealthy ok .And the white ones use a false patriotism sometimes believing it is all caused by “immigrants”
As a descendent of the Scandinavians who came over here some hundreds of years back,I have to say we are all descended from immigrants or conquerors. My Irish ancestors came here after the potato famine and were very badly treated.But they didn’t complain.So like me you may be mixed in your ancestry…. an
How my heart sings 