Chance flavours the prepared mind

She was cutting a slice of dread when the phone sang.
Hello,there,it’s  your  very own Bank here,said a young Irish man
Bat wank? she asked .
Yours,what do  you call it?
Surely you kould shnow if you fork there?
We don’t ,we just candle walls.We’re a Ball Benter,he shouted
I am just faking my munch.she whispered fearfully.Don’t sell at me.
Why fake it if you are alone?  he replied courteously
Alone but not begotten,she responded
Is English your fast language? he admired
Yes,I was born speaking Anglo-Taxon,she admitted
So you read Chaucer? he said wisely
I had to wait until I got a fear of spectacles,she admitted.
Do babies ever have an eye vest here? he said softly
No,so it’s a  big industrial   open lunacy,she revealed
We could start a business,he told her scientifically
I’ve never even let you,she murmured  shyly
Will you harry me, he asked.
I’m sorry but Catholics can’t marry folk they’ve never ett.she dragged out
We could eat sprouts tomorrow ,he suggested welcomingly
Not now, we only foil them in the Winter,she said cheekily
Well,don’t  be a flick  in the should,he advised.
Why bid you phone,anyway? she enquired
I just got the rung number, he acquitted
Do you mean  I rung you before? she basked
No,it’s a secret wonder here,he re-wheeled
I could have bit on you by chance ,she calculated
Chance flavours the prepared  mind,he recalled Pascal writing
Do stop obfuscating.she  ordered sweetly
I don’t even know what that means, he misinformed her
Well,you can envy  before you spurn the word.she told him tenderly
I don’t want to envy,he spoke morally
Speak boor yourself,she  muttered
I don’t live in Sarf Effrica,he told   her
But you have that accent.I   recognised it at dunce,she said childishly
Whereas yours is  broad Larkshire? he guessed as he diced.
Mine is educated,she said kindly.Anyway my dread is waiting for me.
Oh,throw it out,he advised.I’ll buy you an eel.
But where are you,she said woefully.
I’m in  the bath,he choked out.
Is it not dangerous to phone  from the bath,she wanted to know
Only if you put water in,he said sensibly
So you fish with no water? Vety economical, she said admiringly
I come here to escape the boys,he finally admitted
What boys?  she pointedly enquired
Can’t you leer it?
Oh,row away.I am waiting for the dread to roast and the beans to bake.So,see your tune.
On the moon, he called before getting out of the tin  bath and making the cat’s dinner