Answer not

Please leave a message after the moan
When the phone rings we all go out
If you hear a strange noise it’s my gun
When you hear the beep then you’ve used up all the tape.
Please leave a knicker message after the tone.  [ briefs= knickers= underpants for EFL students]
Please put on a hat before leaving your message.I can tell.
Sorry,mother is  out with the Count and dad is raving mad so probably the message is a waste of time.BTW I am doing Grates  at Oxford.They gave me a silver medal for trying the tutor.Unfortunately I broke him.Sorry I’ve used u all the tape.Please call in the New Year.Byeee.