Goodbye

I find it hard to get angry or perhaps to know when I am angry but I realise now I am still angry about my husband being cruelly treated.But a year ago it was too painful to put into words.I tried not to dwell on it.But  I  have felt the quite appropriate anger  today and at the same time I am relieved that I managed the whole business when even our  long time GP gave little help.I have come to the conclusion that I am braver than he is
OK I get anxious.Is that strange? Should I have been happy  and smiling seeing what was happening?Sometimes I envy cultures where they still have rituals for such times in life.But I invented my own.I felt that last day as if we were suddenly in a better place and everything was wonderful including my sister driving for 5 hours alone down the motorway and arriving in the hospital just when I thought I’d better leave.My friends has been there all day so I didn’t want to ask for more time from them.If I had not been so very sad,I would have been very happy… if you can understand that.I had done it… the much feared thing