Meaning of “owe it to yourself” in the English Dictionary
“owe it to yourself” in British English
(Definition of owe it to yourself from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)
Month: April 2016
Stan meets Anne
A few weeks after Annie moved into the house next door to Stan,he met her when he was seeing his wife off to work.
Why does your wife not have a car? she enquired suspiciously.
She is trying to keep slim,Stan told her.
Well,she’s not been very successful,Annie said scientifically.
She might be much fatter than she is now if she drove a car,he stated ponderously
That’s true,muttered Annie meditatively
I am your new next door neighbor.she continued
Yes my dear, said Stan,I have seen you sunbathing in the garden in your bikinis.
How come? she asked scientifically.
There’s a big hole in the fence.
Is it legal to look at women through a hole in the fence?
asked Annie.
I know it’s illegal to look into their bedroom windows.
Is it really,asked Stan nervously,I had no idea.
How about women looking at men through a round hole?
Oh,they are not bothered to do that,she told him charmingly.
Well,said Stan,clearing his throat,I think I owe it to myself to tell you that I love you.
Wow,you’re quick off the mark,the lady said saucily.
What do you mean,you owe it to yourself?
Nothing,said Stan,I could not think how to word it.I mean I wish to unselfishly love you and admire your ripe body and your cute sense of color.I love your teal trouser suit.And you sing sos well in the bath.
You didn’t mean you owe it to yourself to take advantage of me?
Not unless you want me to take advantage of you,the gallant old man informed her.
And you can take advantage of me.I make cakes and biscuits,wholemeal bread and I am training my cat Emile to do statistics on an i pad.
How extraordinary,Annie whispered.I didn’t know cats had an “I.” let alone pads.
Well,they have pads on their paws,he informed her intelligently.
True,she said,but where are their I’s?
Where are our I’s ?he responded in a manner to rejoice the heart of Mary Midgley or Susanne Langer two of Stan’s favourite writers on philosophy,logic,symbols and ethics.
Not that he practiced the Ethics but he liked to know what he was doing wrong.It’s more fun that way.If you sin,sin big!
A man who seduces women merrily one after the other may have no idea it might be wrong.Neither might the women.Why is it wrong?Surely it’s better than killing people or leaving the lid off the jam all night so the wasps get into the jar?
Still,not many men get the chances that Stan got.No-one suspected this kindly,handsome practicing Catholic was a womanizer despite his blue beard,green eyes,white skin and red hair.And his slim yet strong figure clad in navy trousers and white shirts all the year round.Maybe his wife did but she preferred to read Aristotle in bed and dream about mercury… those little silver balls,so cute!
Well,as we know,Stan is about to make Annie his mistress but in such a cold wet summer,where can he take her to do the deed?
The shed?The public library? Cafe Nero?
I owe it to you not to tell you yet.That will give you time to think of a solution for this sweet old man and his naughty but nice neighbor.
Like,how about the confessional in the local Church?
Whatever next?I owe it to myself to keep it secret as you may come along and spoil the fun.
Stan went indoors and washed up in the boiling hot water he kept by him constantly as he owed it to himself to be ready to make a hot drink at any moment he fancied and by gum,he did fancy like no man has ever fancied before.So his daemon tells me.
Why does your wife not have a car? she enquired suspiciously.
She is trying to keep slim,Stan told her.
Well,she’s not been very successful,Annie said scientifically.
She might be much fatter than she is now if she drove a car,he stated ponderously
That’s true,muttered Annie meditatively
I am your new next door neighbor.she continued
Yes my dear, said Stan,I have seen you sunbathing in the garden in your bikinis.
How come? she asked scientifically.
There’s a big hole in the fence.
Is it legal to look at women through a hole in the fence?
asked Annie.
I know it’s illegal to look into their bedroom windows.
Is it really,asked Stan nervously,I had no idea.
How about women looking at men through a round hole?
Oh,they are not bothered to do that,she told him charmingly.
Well,said Stan,clearing his throat,I think I owe it to myself to tell you that I love you.
Wow,you’re quick off the mark,the lady said saucily.
What do you mean,you owe it to yourself?
Nothing,said Stan,I could not think how to word it.I mean I wish to unselfishly love you and admire your ripe body and your cute sense of color.I love your teal trouser suit.And you sing sos well in the bath.
You didn’t mean you owe it to yourself to take advantage of me?
Not unless you want me to take advantage of you,the gallant old man informed her.
And you can take advantage of me.I make cakes and biscuits,wholemeal bread and I am training my cat Emile to do statistics on an i pad.
How extraordinary,Annie whispered.I didn’t know cats had an “I.” let alone pads.
Well,they have pads on their paws,he informed her intelligently.
True,she said,but where are their I’s?
Where are our I’s ?he responded in a manner to rejoice the heart of Mary Midgley or Susanne Langer two of Stan’s favourite writers on philosophy,logic,symbols and ethics.
Not that he practiced the Ethics but he liked to know what he was doing wrong.It’s more fun that way.If you sin,sin big!
A man who seduces women merrily one after the other may have no idea it might be wrong.Neither might the women.Why is it wrong?Surely it’s better than killing people or leaving the lid off the jam all night so the wasps get into the jar?
Still,not many men get the chances that Stan got.No-one suspected this kindly,handsome practicing Catholic was a womanizer despite his blue beard,green eyes,white skin and red hair.And his slim yet strong figure clad in navy trousers and white shirts all the year round.Maybe his wife did but she preferred to read Aristotle in bed and dream about mercury… those little silver balls,so cute!
Well,as we know,Stan is about to make Annie his mistress but in such a cold wet summer,where can he take her to do the deed?
The shed?The public library? Cafe Nero?
I owe it to you not to tell you yet.That will give you time to think of a solution for this sweet old man and his naughty but nice neighbor.
Like,how about the confessional in the local Church?
Whatever next?I owe it to myself to keep it secret as you may come along and spoil the fun.
Stan went indoors and washed up in the boiling hot water he kept by him constantly as he owed it to himself to be ready to make a hot drink at any moment he fancied and by gum,he did fancy like no man has ever fancied before.So his daemon tells me.
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Freudian advice for the older person
You have plenty of time to paper yourself after you retire.[ real quote] Saves buying clothes.
Do wear a large cat in summer to protect your complexion
Always wear son’s cream and
Beware of High Noon.. cover your bald head.
Go to bed and get up at the same time every day.[not much sleep!]
Can you afford to love? Look out for special offers in Tesco’s
Sell your flat and live in a tent near a pubic convenience.
Write books based on sexual conversions.These can make you a torture
Always make Ray when the sun shines.
Look after yourself and you will be mad later on
Eat three mules a day.
Don’t eat snakes between mules.
Arrange your sheets weekly.
Wear a night frown to keep the sheet clean and free from sweat.
Save money.Sleep in your underwear.
Don’t wash too often.Your skin gets thinner
Clean your wreath twice a day.
Look after your stealth
Ask for a massage when you feel rent
Save up for your free for all.
Vex your best friend daily
Put a hammer by your head at night
Keep a scorch handy
Don’t beat al the biscuits.
Silence is often a rest
Turn up the reading ramp in bed.
Get new willows every 5 tears.
God byte
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Religion
Ark..should we imitate Noah?
Beelzebub is a name for Satan
Christ is believed to be the Messiah by Christians
Devil or Satan.Often a previously worshipped God is a devil in the next religion.
Ecstasy.Some mystics may experience this in meditation.Some do it with drugs but it’s not meant to be permanent until we go to Heaven.
Frranciscan.This is religious order founded by St Francis who preached to birds.
Genuflection.A sign of reverence to God where we kneel on one knee before entering a pew in church
Hell..can be experienced on earth.A place of severe punishment. were seriously wicked people go after death The notion was used to control people by fear.However most of the Nazis were Christians and the fear of Hell did not hold them back.Why?
Incense is a nice smelling substance used in Catholic chirches during certain rites and rituals.
Jews are the people who invented or discovered Monotheism and brought ethics into being.Christians worship the same God.
Jesus was a Jewish holy man or hasim believed by many to be the Messiah.
Kabbalah..A mystical aspect of Judaism
Moses was a Jewish man who received the Ten Commandments after leading the Jews out of Egypt were they were slaves,it is said.
Noah foresaw a great flood and built his Ark
Offertory par:t of the Mass.
Paradise is another name for heaven or a place of bliss.
Queues used to be seen in Catholic churches when people waited to confess their sins .
Rome is where the Vatican is.
Saviour.Jesus is believed to have atoned for our sins and therefore saved us from God’s wrath.Looks like we need another..
Torment said to be suffered by the evil after death and judgement
Wine was served at the Last Supper.
Xavier.A saint called Francis.
Y is J in Hebrew
Zacharias.. a character in the New Testament
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Of loving flesh
What angst you did inflict upon my soul
What grief gave you mine eyes to weep afresh.
What ire do you reserve to take its toll;
What everlasting loss of loving flesh?
What sorrow did you wish to save for me
What worthless thoughts did you intend to grow
What ends and means then wished you to see
What un-contained shudders did you sow?
Who you are has no interest to me.
Whom you pray for makes a mock of God.
When you feel ,then from it you shall flee.
And will he rule you then with his own rod?
Do not think you’ve made an end of me.
Eternity and time my friends will be
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Maths alphabet
Axes are useful,real and imaginary.Does our earth have them?
Borrow one in sums.Not nice.Arithmetic sucks
Calculus is based on non-understanding of first principles which may not be understandable like certain jokes..
Drawing graphs is an art and a science.
Euclid has frightened some and delighted others.And a right angle to you as well.
Flatland is a book set in an imaginary two dimensional world.Fractions frighten
Geometry gave way to algebra.Godel studied axiomatic systems.
God was a Word not a number……. think about it.
Hard as maths is,there is a non-sensual beauty in there somewhere
It takes your mind off pain when you try to visualise 4 dimensions.Be aware some never return.
Jokes are not often found in our textbooks except the biggest.. that God likes jigsaws,geometry and juggling.
Kurt Godel went mad.He proved maths cannot have a complete set of axioms with no contradictions.So don’t go there
Logic is not identical with mathematics.
Multiplication tables were sung by children at school in the past.Matrices are rows and columns of numbers.
Number theory is harder than one would imagine from counting one’s digits.
Operators are imaginary concepts which have an effect on other imaginary concepts which then contribute to nuclear physics,and a few other things like the end of the world.
Probability seems to be part of the nature of the world despite Einstein’s famous words. God does not play dice.
Quantitative methods were what they called maths to stop the anxiety students felt.But it’s a bad name.
Reason is only part of mathematics
Straight lines can meet.
Theorems can be interesting if you know why you are learning them
Why? Why indeed.Wranglers are top mathematics students at Cambridge.
X or x is often the unknown we look for.
Y is like X just by historical usage
Zero as a concept with a sign is more abstract than One.Hence its late arrival on the human scene.Nothing can be symbolised. Ain’t that good?
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As flawed as it’s wrong
As flawed as it’s wrong.
Be as good as the text, man.
Come away,breath.Let me die as president
Defective love hurts.
Enemies are free and many.
Folly gives advice to the fool.
Give aid to those who bleed.
Hello,wit free here.
In search of my fate.
Jest and be merry for wives are out.
Klues Foxed Klan
Lord have Qwerty on me!
Malice before thought seems their motto
Never use a clean word when a dirty will do.
One who gossips, hears her fears.
Patch up your troubles before filling yourbag
Quality is ingrained.
Remember me when I have won.
Together we make a prayer.
Underneath his arches I think he has a shoe.
Vice is virtue to the ambitious psychopaths who fool us.
What does sock it to a man, is his soul.
X is unknown like x.
Yet sorrow feel or forever be repressed.
Zebras like crossing my palm.
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To hobnob
Word of the Day : April 12, 2016
hobnob
verb HAHB-nahb
Definition
: to associate familiarly
Examples
“We were so far from A-listers they couldn’t see us with a telescope, yet there we were, hobnobbing with athletes and celebrities, all the while making good use of the free drinks and appetizers, especially the sushi rolls.” — Eric Plummer, The Coeur d’Alene (Idaho) Press, 14 Feb. 2016
“The Oscars ceremony might be one of the most prestigious events in the celebrity world, but the Vanity Fair celebration is the most exclusive after-party … in which all of the movie stars in all of the land are brought to one large building to hobnob and glad-hand and get away from the mortals.” — Monica Hesse, The Washington Post, 1 Mar. 2016
Did You Know?
Hob and nob first came together in print in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, when Sir Toby Belch warns Viola (who is disguised as a man) that Sir Andrew wants to duel. “Hob, nob is his word,” says Sir Toby, using hob and nob to mean something like “hit or miss.” Sir Toby’s words are probably from the term habnab (also styled as a phrase: hab or nab), which meant “in one way or another” or “however it may turn out.” After Shakespeare’s day, hob and nobbecame established in the phrase to drink hobnob (also styled asto drink hob or nob), which meant “to drink alternately to each other.” Since “drinking hobnob” was generally done among friends, hobnob came to refer to congenial social interaction.
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Into the woods with Stan
Stan,who just had recovered from flu , had enjoyed being fussed over by the two women Mary his wife and Anne their neighbour.Now he was feeling better he decided to take Emile,his tomcat for a walk.They set off down a little track leading into a deep dark wood behind their house.
Emile would never go to the big wood alone as it seemed very frightening to a cat.But Stan wore a red anorak which Emile could see for quite a way.
Emile gambolled around the trees like a lamb,even running up one or two tree trunks which is behaviour rarely seen in lambs,even in excessively hot weather.
Thus Stan mused to himself as he wandered along between the autumn tinted trees and shrubs.surely odd in May?
I wonder what the odds are of me ever seeing a lamb run up a tree,he pondered.
Men always like to think of the serious problems such as this, unlike women who think about the curtains and the bed linen and other mundane realities like fresh food and cleanliness.And shopping for soap and matches to light their fags
I wonder if I can look it up on Google, he thought.But even if lambs running up trees has happened in New Zealand it’s much too far for me to go to look…though it would be exiting. Rather expensive too,no doubt.
Emile deliberately walked into a muddy pool and came out all brown and filthy.
Really Emile,you are five years old now.Can’t you take care?Your coat is all muddy.
Never mind said Emile,I’ll lick it all off later
No,you won’t said Stan,it’s about time you had a bath.
Emile murmured,
I think I’m too dirty to go in the bath,can’t I just have a wash in a big plastic bowl?
Well,economy is good sometimes,replied Stan You can bathe in the old jam saucepan,that’s a nice big size.
But you won’t put me on the stove and boil me,Emile teased him gently with a little smile.
Of course not.I love you too much Emile ,to torment you like that.
After Mary,Annie,Lyra and all the other ladies you love.
Well,it’s different.One can love in many ways.In theory at least.
As you grow older your heart grows larger and you can keep more creatures in there,sheltering in your bosom.
I thought only ladies had bosoms,Emile purred.
Well,according to the Bible,Abraham had a bosom.It’s a place around your heart where you keep those you love.
Have I got a bosom,Emile enquired shyly.
Do you love anyone?
Yes,I love you and Mary,the milkman and the lady cat down the road.And Annie.
Well in that case Emile,you definitely have a bosom,Stan answered confusedly yet contemplatively.
What ever will Emile ask me next ,he wondered.I don’t know if I can keep up with his development.
And so they rambled on into the deep dark wood..
What would they find in there…little Red Riding Hood?A wolf?
We shall wait and see.
One thing is sure
They’ll both need a bath if and when they get home
Emile gambolled around the trees like a lamb,even running up one or two tree trunks which is behaviour rarely seen in lambs,even in excessively hot weather.
Thus Stan mused to himself as he wandered along between the autumn tinted trees and shrubs.surely odd in May?
I wonder what the odds are of me ever seeing a lamb run up a tree,he pondered.
Men always like to think of the serious problems such as this, unlike women who think about the curtains and the bed linen and other mundane realities like fresh food and cleanliness.And shopping for soap and matches to light their fags
I wonder if I can look it up on Google, he thought.But even if lambs running up trees has happened in New Zealand it’s much too far for me to go to look…though it would be exiting. Rather expensive too,no doubt.
Emile deliberately walked into a muddy pool and came out all brown and filthy.
Really Emile,you are five years old now.Can’t you take care?Your coat is all muddy.
Never mind said Emile,I’ll lick it all off later
No,you won’t said Stan,it’s about time you had a bath.
Emile murmured,
I think I’m too dirty to go in the bath,can’t I just have a wash in a big plastic bowl?
Well,economy is good sometimes,replied Stan You can bathe in the old jam saucepan,that’s a nice big size.
But you won’t put me on the stove and boil me,Emile teased him gently with a little smile.
Of course not.I love you too much Emile ,to torment you like that.
After Mary,Annie,Lyra and all the other ladies you love.
Well,it’s different.One can love in many ways.In theory at least.
As you grow older your heart grows larger and you can keep more creatures in there,sheltering in your bosom.
I thought only ladies had bosoms,Emile purred.
Well,according to the Bible,Abraham had a bosom.It’s a place around your heart where you keep those you love.
Have I got a bosom,Emile enquired shyly.
Do you love anyone?
Yes,I love you and Mary,the milkman and the lady cat down the road.And Annie.
Well in that case Emile,you definitely have a bosom,Stan answered confusedly yet contemplatively.
What ever will Emile ask me next ,he wondered.I don’t know if I can keep up with his development.
And so they rambled on into the deep dark wood..
What would they find in there…little Red Riding Hood?A wolf?
We shall wait and see.
One thing is sure
They’ll both need a bath if and when they get home
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The alphabet
Anxiety is the price of life.
But don’t pay over the top.
Calmness is good at most times.
Dread is a bad friend.
Exploring nature soothes the soul
For what are we but part of it?
Gentle music helps the mind
How ever we do it,
Listening is a kindness to ourself.
Ink is the friend of the writer.
Judgment is another one.
Kindness is essential to the good life.
Lessons are available daily.
Money is necessary but not sufficient for happiness.
Needs are simpler then we imagine.
Oxygen is good for the brain.
Prayer is good for the mind.
Quality is hard to judge quickly.
Rest is often a good idea.
Tension inhibits ideas.
Work should involve play.
X- rated films are optional
Yes…You are a valuable person.
Z is the final letter
And life is an Art
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I’s still goin’ out
Summer is a-comin’ in but I’s a-goin’ out.
The sun’s a-come,my work’s a-done and now I want my stout
The wind a-blows,the leaves all wave,what is it all about?
The kitchen tiles a-droppin’ off,I think we need some grout.
The rain a-drops the flowers a-bloom,so why does I a-doubt?
If God made me,He made thee too,and th’art a lazy lout.
Thy second most favoured thing to do, is a-doin’ nowt.
The summer may be comin’ in,but I’s still goin’ out
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Winter poem..
Trees swaying in the wind
Leaves
blow
down.
blow
down.
Birds flying through the sky
look
for
lorn
.
Winter edges ever nearer.
Frost and fog will soon appear.
Cats sleep cosy by the fire
I clean the mud off my bike tyres.
Trees swaying to and fro
sig
nal
love,
.
Birds flowing on air currents.
You’re my dove
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Ray Monk’s writing:a conversation
Have you read many books by Ray Monk?
No,Have you?
Only one,but I’ve read it seven times so far.
That’s value for money!Why seven,is it some thing you have about numero septimus?
No,I just couldn’t understand it at first!
So why did you persist?
Well,it is written so beautifully and also I like lives.
Style over substance!
No,it has both.Unusually.
What’s it about then,detectives?
No,I don’t read those seven times.It’s the biography of Wittgenstein.
How long did it take you?
Five years!
Are you a philosopher?
Well,I am now.
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How to spell and rebel
She was sweeter than money till she met him
He has plenty of elan brutal.
Where are the borders of prayer?
By whose Messiah was love preserved?
Toujours re-bless.
Dies prayer,
A la printemps de l’annee je suis flosse.
A quicksand is no place to gather moss.
He said,Oh,No! Raaaa.Ahaha
A passim a day keeps Word at bay
He is bluish and almost unconscionable.
Je m’appelle la diva derider.
I think I aren’t.
Is he now a psychowrath?
I write with a pin on my arm.
I love to watch bones knitting
Quelle est l’heure de la torte?
C’est le mort diable.Scriabin.
Tortelier,mon amour.
How the hell he spells ,Romans nose love
I think my destiny was to greet this occupation … a la quartz
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Home is where to start
Stan was cooking tea that day,
While his wife went out to play.
He cooked a pie of frogs and cress,
He wanted to impress.
While his wife went out to play.
He cooked a pie of frogs and cress,
He wanted to impress.
Stan was wearing his old clothes.
Where old clothes come from,no-one knows.
He meant to change when he was done,
So he and Mary could have fun.
Where old clothes come from,no-one knows.
He meant to change when he was done,
So he and Mary could have fun.
But Anne his neighbour rang the bell,
Stan was so surprised he fell.
He hit his head upon the stove,
And his poor scalp turned blue and mauve.
Stan was so surprised he fell.
He hit his head upon the stove,
And his poor scalp turned blue and mauve.
Ring 999 and ask for Dave,
This man is old yet must be saved
The paramedic gave him glue
To stick together his old shoe.
This man is old yet must be saved
The paramedic gave him glue
To stick together his old shoe.
Then he rubbed on arnica..
The head looked like Guernica.
“Get the camera,take a pic.”
Stan was feeling rather sick.
The head looked like Guernica.
“Get the camera,take a pic.”
Stan was feeling rather sick.
“How can you use my wounds as art?
Rest assured I’ll take no part.”
He hit the camera with his stick,
And felled his mistress with a brick.
Rest assured I’ll take no part.”
He hit the camera with his stick,
And felled his mistress with a brick.
So now they’re in a mixed sex ward,
This experience can be shared.
They get their food at 3 am
Half for the ladies,half for the men.
This experience can be shared.
They get their food at 3 am
Half for the ladies,half for the men.
The doctor asked them what went wrong.
Both of them had lost their tongues.
Neither would say what they’d done!
Now their anger is all gone.
Both of them had lost their tongues.
Neither would say what they’d done!
Now their anger is all gone.
The moral of my myth is this:
Being unfaithfail is not bliss.
Mistresses can be a pain,
Especially if they’re very vain.
Being unfaithfail is not bliss.
Mistresses can be a pain,
Especially if they’re very vain.
And better not to look for love,
Except with cats or sweet white doves.
Let your neighbour love you less!
And don’t make comments on her dress.
Except with cats or sweet white doves.
Let your neighbour love you less!
And don’t make comments on her dress.
As for voyeurs,keep a crutch.
Hit them hard, but not too much.
If they want a work of Art,
Tell them home is where to start.
Hit them hard, but not too much.
If they want a work of Art,
Tell them home is where to start.
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Ept?
If something is “inept”, what is “ept?”?
Relevance
Best Answer: The word “inept” comes from the Latin word “ineptus,” which is formed from the terms “in-“, meaning not, and “aptus,” meaning suited, fitted, etc. So while “ept,” doesn’t mean anything, “apt” certainly does. They aren’t complete opposites, but as words evolve from their ancient origins, they are often “apt” to change a little.
Julia N · 9 years ago
1
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“inept” is incapable, “in” is a negating prefix, so to be “ept” is surely “to be able or capable.”
And as Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) said a word means exactly what I intend it to mean.
EB White coined “ept” in the 1930s. The Oxford Dictionary cites “eptly” and “eptitude”.
It is seldom wise to assert that a collection of letters isn t a word without spending some time looking.david · 2 months ago
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A lover of the vapid is my friend
A lover of the vapid is my friend
So rapidly to boredom we can wend.
Yet should love like this be brought to sudden end
Or clung to as we struggle through the bends?
Is the choosing of insipid acts
Genetic, to be treated with mere tact?
Or if it’s learned, then how should I react
To give him aid to learn that which he lacks?
And who am I to judge that he should change?
For vapidity’s subjective in its range.
And criticism if ept may then derange,
To lunacy his mind be rearranged.
Personal judgements should not issue fast,
As the pains we cause may for an era last
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Vapid and rapid
If you want to say,vapid
I can tell you it rhymes well with rapid.
Though whether we shall use it
Or forget or lose it
My feelings on that are quite tepid
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How to pronounce vapid and other words
An interesting word:vapid
vapid
ˈvapɪd/
adjective
adjective: vapid
-
offering nothing that is stimulating or challenging; bland.“tuneful but vapid musical comedies”
synonyms: insipid, uninspired, colourless, uninteresting,feeble, flat, dead, dull, boring, tedious, tired,unexciting, uninspiring, unimaginative, lifeless,zestless, spiritless, sterile, anaemic, tame,bloodless, jejune, vacuous, bland, stale, trite,pallid, wishy-washy, watery, tasteless, milk-and-water, flavourless “tuneful but vapid musical comedies”
Origin
mid 17th century (used originally in description of drinks as ‘lacking in flavour’): from Latin vapidus .
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Innocence
To pretend complete innocence is the act of the fearful
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Singing will make us rejoice
English is a complex old tongue
Syntax and parsing and song
Sing for your supper
As adverbs you mutter
With me here you’ll rarely go wrong
From Hebrew and Greek and old Norse
English is good for your voice
Inchoate longings
Mutate into songlings
Sing till you feel almost hoarse.
From Latin in Church and at school
We moved onto logic and Boole
Symbols and signs reign
And we begin once again
Learning new words makes me drool.
Singing will make us rejoice
As we each contribute our own voice.
God loves us equally
And very frequently
Let singing good songs be your chouce
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No bounds
She accidentally strayed
into his terrortery;
He panicked and felt his heart
beating louder
as if trying to burst its way out.
His face turned whiter;
she backed away
knowing intuitively,
it was for the best;
for terror knows no bounds.
And no boundaries create
Terror.
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Start charging him
When my husband has been ill,he longs for a tart…Well,you could start charging him!
Can you plug men in like you do with your mobile ?
I wonder if that’s why they have two ears?
What,does the charger go in their ear?
Well,they don’t use them to listen to us women.
I shall have to ask someone.
No,just look on the Internet…
I did look and the good news is,It’s free nowadays.
What’s the bad news?
It’s all porn
Did it affect you?
No,I’d rather read a book..
What sort of book?
The ones where she swoons into his arms
~and he swoons into her charms.
You read those books too?
I write them!
You never said.
No I write under a nom de plum
Plume!
Plum,plume,it’s all a foreign language to me.
It’s French…
Like the tart
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On Lucian Freud
The language your forefathers spoke
Dwells in your images.
Faces bleed with feeling.
Bodies rise out like rocks.
Your self-portrait sings
Me,myself.I am.
When God spoke from the burning bush,
You took the flame and ran
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Stan wants to bake some blackberries
Stan had decided to do some baking.
The larder was empty
the cupboard was bare
he looked in the cake tin
but nothing was there.
Stan had flour,eggs and sugar and of course milk and butter.Emile was under the table waiting for something to drip out of the bowl!He loved baking days.
Stan had bought a load of blackberries in the market so he was thinking of blackberry tarts,blackberry crumble..
He picked up the bag which seemed very heavy.Putting his hand in …..he pulled out a Blackberry!
He went to the market
to buy me some fruit
and now he’s got Blackberries
he’s going to shoot!
Annie his next door neighbour was coming to the back door.
“What’s up,Petal?”
“Oh,dear.I seem to have made a category error.”Stan answered philosophically.
“Well what category would you put me into?” she asked petulantly.
“Why are you so egocentric ?Not everything is about you!”He said fluently.
“Well if I’m narcissistic it’s because my infant grandiosity was ruptured too suddenly and I was not held and contained in a suitable manner.”
“You’ve been reading that Wilfred Bion again.” Stan said admiringly.
“No,not just him.It’s some American chap as well .Would you like to read it?”
“No,thanks,I’m finding Julia Segal is more than enough for me.I find Bion is a bit too mystical.I don’t think I can approach you without memory or desire.To be honest,without memory or desire I wouldn’t want to approach you.”
“Wow ” she said stupidly,her large green eyes staring avidly upon him inviting him to fall into their salty sea like depths.
“Shall I ring 999?I can’t think of anything to say. I’m lost for words.”
“Perhaps you have reached that mystical spot beneath language mostly only known to babies,the mad, or meditators?”
“Well,I do feel a bit of madness today.”
“Is that why you have purple and orange eye-shadow on clashing with your alarazin crimson lipstick and your light beige, but not too light, foundation by Lancome of Brixton and Blackheath, Paris,Rome,and London?”
“I suppose so.” she replied indifferently.I feel as if I’m behind a glass wall.”
“Oh,don’t worry.That’s the new window!” Stan explained courteously.”You really are behind a glass wall. You’ve been reading schizoid processes again on Yahoo,”
“Yes,” she admitted her face blushing violently.”It’s those new people who’ve moved in across the road.They are both psychoanalysts so I wanted to feel up to their level of knowledge.”
“I didn’t know they were psychoanalysts.How did you find out?”
“Well,first of all,there were two large sofas, and then hundreds of knitting needles and a lorry-ful of wool.And I thought,”Hello,hello,It must be one of Anna Freud’s followers.”
“So have you met them?” he asked laconically?
“Yes”,she confessed animatedly .I went over and said,
“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”
“And what did he say?”
“Are you all mad round here?”
“So I thought,”You’re not getting hold of me that easily.””
“So I said “I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’m am an admirer of Melanie Klein,”
“Oh,how did they react to that?”Stan quizzed her jovially.
“He was so rude.He said,
“Are you telling me you’re a lesbian as well as a lunatic?”
“Oh,dear.No wonder your make up is all running off your face and disappearing down your cleavage.Why don’t you pop upstairs and have a bath?”
“Well it’s either that or ringing 999”
“My self is totally divided.”
“Into equal parts?”
“I can’t say” she murmured.
“Oh,well” said Stan “you sit there with Emile and I shall make a Victoria sponge and a lemon drizzle cake without the lemon…I’ve only got bananas and they don’t drizzle.
“Why not adapt to reality and make a banana loaf?”
“Is that wise?” Stan enquired.
“Wise or not,it seems to make sense.” she whispered coyly.”Get a move on or Mary will be back on her Raleigh shopper bicycle and there’ll be no cake for tea
.”Thank you,honey.”Stan replied.
“I am filled with memory and desire.”
“And quite right too,”mioawed Emile from his basket.”I’m like that every night!”
“And so are all of us,”Annie twittered on one of Stan’s new blackberries
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Parse the sugar
- When I met the Queen she asked me to parse the marmalade!
And did you?
I passed out.
With flying dolours?
Exactly.
You ought to study syntax.
Will it be rewarding?
Not financially but it is good for your readers.
They should write the blog and I can read it.
Ask for volunteers!
Will I pay them?
No,it’s a learning experience.
For whom?
My,we are posh today!
Stop sniggering at me.
Ask nicely.
No.
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To parse?
parse
pɑːz/
verb
verb: parse; 3rd person present: parses; past tense: parsed; past participle: parsed; gerund or present participle: parsing
-
1.resolve (a sentence) into its component parts and describe their syntactic roles.“I asked a couple of students to parse these sentences for me”
-
COMPUTINGanalyse (a string or text) into logical syntactic components.“a user question input is parsed into an internal conceptual representation”
-
noun
COMPUTING
noun: parse; plural noun: parses
-
1.an act of parsing a string or a text.“a failed parse was retried”
Origin
mid 16th century: perhaps from Middle English pars ‘parts of speech’, from Old Frenchpars ‘parts’ (influenced by Latin pars ‘part’).
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The lark
Freed from her trap.
Bird soared into air,and hovered,
And floated, resting;
And flew higher, singing as she flew,
And higher again,
Till there was only her song,
Left in the silence,
Trembling.
Up on the high, wide,stump topped hill,
I felt the lark inside my heart
And heard her singing.
And flying up with her,
I saw gold sun and silver moon,
Moors of heather and sheep grazing,
Green hills,
And shimmering lakes,
Clouds,sun and sky in watery mirrors.
And sang,and dipped,and dropped,
And curled
Up the blue
Bright heaven,and rested
On the wind.
All that day
I was a lark singing.
I shall always have a vision of
A bird
That flew upwards,
Rejoicing and free
Into a deep blue sky, and high
And higher
Beyond high
Into a place, beyond eye even,
But music still sending.
I wish I were back on that heathery moor,
With the nibbling sheep and the bees sweetly humming,
Hearing again
The poignant song
Of the skylark;
A prisoner,freed by a magician,
From her trap,
So happy to be free,
So wonderful to see.
Do it again for me.
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A worm on the couch
I was planning to make a carrot cake till my mother told me:Carrots don’t eat cake.What are carrots anyway? Why are they so picky?I have to eat all my food or I get punished by hunger pains.
Are there worms inside me eating my food or biting me?
Do worms have teeth?What is it they like about soil.
Charles Darwin wrote a book about worms…
So far I have not read it.
Worms are the opposite of us.
They never get angry or depressed as far as we can tell..
How fortunate as to psychoanalyze a worm would be hard.
Indeed could you tell a worm to lie on the sofa
Or would you have to climb inside a plant pot next to the worm?
As Wittgenstein might have said,
If worms could speak we would not understand what they said.
I don’t know,I think I can guess though…
I have some experience …symbolically that is.
Or is it metaphorically?
Imagine a worm on your couch.
Hmm,how are things going?
Yurp,blurp!
Well,that’s good.
Werp,serp!
Quite right,I am interfering with your transfernce.
Hurpppppppp.
Would you like a little soil?
Mummmm
Oh,dear…I should not have offered you anything.
Daddddddd.
Surely you don’t remember him?
Herrrrrrrr.
So your dad was a lady?
Oh ,ahhh!
Well,it takes all sorts.
Glumb,glomb.
I’m afraid your time is up.
Tinnnnnggggggggg
You want a minicab?
Taaaaaaaaaaaaa.
That’s £500
Do you take plastic?
No,only notes.
Doh,ray,me
I never knew worms could sing…
Well,you do now.
How my heart sings 