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The only phone my mother allowed in our house was a homophone

I suppose she didn’t need a megaphone  and gramophones had not been invented?
Well,  they had but you had  to have records.She never kept those owing to her good memory.
Where did you say you came from?
I didn’t.
You must come from somewhere
I remember,Alston.
You mean in Cumbria?
In my time it was Cumberland.We were all backward as it was too cold to go to school
So you descended via Teesdale?
We preferred Penrith
I know you love pens
Not hen pens!
What would Freud say about those?
Cock a doodle doo.

I say,have you ever had a  nervous breakdown?

Not yet,but if it’s free I shall try it.

Alternatively try reading the Oxford Dictionary.