Day: April 15, 2016

Grandiloquent

 By Mike Flemming
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grandiloquence audio pron   \gran-DIH-luh-kwunss\
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Definition
noun
:
a lofty, extravagantly colorful, pompous, or bombastic style, manner, or quality especially in language

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ampersand

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Examples
The grandiloquence of the columnist’s writing gave him a reputation as a blowhard, but his opinions were deep and carefully considered.
“It seems that the only thing that flows more freely than money in Washington is the grandiloquence of the partisans in each party.” — Daily News-Record (Harrisonburg, Virginia), September 29, 2014

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Did You Know?
Grandiloquence, which first appeared in English in the late 16th century, is one of several English words pertaining to speech that derive from the Latin loqui, meaning “to speak.” Other offspring of loqui include eloquent (“marked by fluent expression”), loquacious (“full of excessive talk”), and soliloquy (“a long dramatic monologue”). Grandiloquence comes (probably via Middle French) from the Latin adjective grandiloquus, which combines loqui and the adjective grandis (“grand or great”). A word that is very similar in meaning to grandiloquence is magniloquence—and the similarity is not surprising.Magniloquence combines loqui with magnus, another Latin word meaning “great.”

The eyes of love

They lay down in awe and fear,
Of what their love was bringing near.
They gazed into each others eyes
And so did tantalise.

 

They lay down to gaze into
the eyes and soul of one who’s true.
They gazed until ,when overcome,
They were united into one.

Their souls and bodies were conjoined,
And thus their hearts were well entwined;
As honeysuckle on the walls,
In joy’s sweet arbours does grow tall.
Their loving lips and eyes and hands
Gave pause to time’s soft flowing sands.
and as they touched and gazed and longed,
The birds sang out in glorious songs.

Which is me and which is you?
Are we one or are we two?
I give you all myself today,
So this shall be our way

All my heart

Ways of musing
about literature
made the writers’  muse smile
she didn’t like real women.

Her teacher at school  became
contemptibly jealous.
She wasn’t caring
so we were told tactlessly
what to read and what to shirk
but she dismayed  us for our
uncertainty;  books  matter;
even  that we  revolved slowly
in some  planetary action
for human salutations
This remade  powerfully—
the way  to live
or to live improperly was
to read
  art works with the eye of truth
and they affected me,
and  ironised
other ways of seeing
the ambitions of over-egged theory
and hence our being.
I was educated to love with all my heart

Mary misses the train

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Photo by Mike Flemming

Annie went onto Mary’s patio at 10 am and  began  to water her many  tubs.The watering can was filled with rain water though the weather was now  a  little drier.Emile ran behind her admiring her  tight  black jeans from Calvin Klein and her red blouse from Bowlands of  Wrath.Suddenly the bedroom window opened and Mary leaned out.
Hi Annie,I have not gone away after all.I
Why not? asked her caring and dear  neighbour loutishly.
Well,I completely forgot because I was out last night meeting a man from Soul-mates and got home so late I slept right through the alarm.
A pity you didn’t bring him back,said Annie licking her lips.
I cant  bring any man here so soon,Mary   informed her.I rang the hotel and cancelled my booking.With the weather so  odd even Blackpool Illuminations would not cheer anyone up.I didn’t know which clothes to take either.
Isn’t it interesting that as we get better off we get problems like that,remarked Annie. When we were young we had so few clothes we had no trouble  packing.
Mary laughed.My first year after University I bought two cotton dresses  in Woolworth’s.I thought they were  ok but later discovered they were almost transparent.Anyway we wore them  and threw them away.But now few women wear dresses.Look at you in those jeans and you a pensioner!
Annie gazed up to Mary, revealing her  thick Revlon skin polish and L’Oreal cream  rich foundation in golden grey-beige.Her parted lips were coated in moisture rich coral lipstick by  Mussolini and Co. of Argentina and Vienna.
Mary was wearing a long nightgown made of pure nylon decorated with photos of cats of all breeds.Emile had given it her for her birthday.He had managed to type it into the google box on his laptop paying with Stan’s credit card from the Bank of Vichy and Nice,France.
I want some tea,Mary said.Soon she appeared in a  polyester house dress from Daxon of Paris and the Ruhr. lt was covered in   pictures of snakes.
Why,those snakes are rather horrible, Annie said.
I know snakes are in fashion but I shall avoid them.I saw some trousers in Marks but they might give a man the wrong impression.
That is sexist ,Mary told her shyly.They might give a lesbian the wrong impression too.
Oh,dear. Isn’t life hard now when we have to be so careful what we say.I wonder if it is because of social alienation and the rapid changes in demographics that we need rules when before we knew all our neighbours and they knew  us.With strangers we need more rules.
I agree, said Mary defiantly.And I just saw a book called “Compassionate Assertiveness Training”She laughed.
Shall we send one to Donald  Trump.Can you  believe what America is like if a man like that can be President?
Well,it’s a democracy so if Satan lived there he could stand if he had  the money..
The two  women suddenly fell silent.Emile was puzzled as they rarely paused like this once they got going
Is he the anti-Christ, purred the little cat.
Satan or Donald Trump? asked Annie.
Well …. we’ve never seen Satan as yet…But we must watch out in case he comes here to punish the weak and the sick.
Well that gave them all a moment of wonder before Mary grilled some bacon and cut some bread from a loaf she got   in  the Victoria Bakery.
Here you are,she said to Annie,handing her a sandwich.Better eat anyway,whatever happens.Give me some  hot tea,quick
And so pray all of us.
For he’s a Bally Woodfiller,
He’s a Wooly Sad Triller
And all day so are us.

Too late to pray

I’ll tell you   a story  later;
listen to the News.
an easily endurable life
is acquired
at a  party;
it’s too  late to pray
for what we have lost.
people  disagree
uncertain & saddened.
even worse
is  possible.
misunderstanding
i am not you
yet i am as young as Jesus
we can be still
to be  still
the difference is moving
between  He that died
and the One who remains
contemporary strife
looks  unlike the 40s,
this is a creative   mytery
what we have in bed
are the  morals of hogs
and the ethics of the middle  peace
pleasuring  the trumpeting of harlots
donning their  golden robes
sparring with rugs on their heads
can YOU believe it
Cordelia?
Crown me now

Why I am worried

I may be invited to address the United Nations but I have no smart suit and my hair looks like a doormat.
I might get mugged and have no money in my purse and no credit cards so they will not have anything to show for their work.
I might fall out of bed and land on the cat,if we had a cat.
I might dream I’m in the loo and then wet the bed.
I might go to Confession and I’d have to tell a lie and invent a sin as I’ve done nothing wrong this week.Or I forgot!
Then I’d have a sin to confess:Lying in the confessional.

I might not see a grass snake in the garden and accidentally stand on it.
I may solve a problem no-one knows the answer to and not even realise that I am the only person who knows.
I may wake up and find I’m a man.I have no suitable shoes and where would i keep my mobile?
Someone might want me to do a poetry reading and i might speak too fast.I might go more red,tremble or use a four letter word in a Freudian slip.And I don’t know any four letter words yet…please tell me where they are.
I might fall over crossing the road and get run over by a bus just before I change my underwear.how mortifying.
Isn’t mortifying an odd word?

I might go shopping and forget my purse.Then get put into a Home and forgot I have a home.
I might forget my name.It’s so confusing as the doctor calls me Mary ;my first name.Why can’t they call one Mrs like they used to do?
Unless they can’t pronounce  my surname !It’s a thousand years since the Vikings and the English still can’t speak Danish or Norwegian.Nor Swedish,except for.”Hi”.
I might dream I’m young and what a nightmare that would be!
I might get onto a CTTV camera and be spotted by someone looking for a model for large size clothes.
No wonder I’m so neurotic. I must be tough.Anyone else would have gone completely mad with all this on their mind.
But I was already mad so everything is fine.
Well,let’s pretend

Is it ringing?

You’re too elusive to  win my love
You’re  so far away while you’re with me.
Just a  got a snap of the pigeon and  dove
I don’t know how  some birds can be so free.

You’re tempting me and pushing me away
I  don’t know how I wandered here.
But soon the reckoning will come,that day.
I wonder how   words can be so clear.

Now a picture has   many interpretations.
Whatever language we may each speak
It doesn’t need any further translation.
Though we get to know the cliques and the freaks.

There are so many ways to tell you don’t  care
There is only an  intention to  be truthful.
But in the end it’s neither  love not fare.
I’m starving and the world don’t look so beautiful.

You’re too elusive to be captured;
Though I tried the Leica lens and shot my head off/
Yet you implied some later loving rapture.
I’ve blown away and snapped  the trees off.

I’m over the clouds  now, where the blue sky is.
And moving so fast, the earth is shrinking
I’m  out of touch with all those aerial wires.
Good to be  sailing into blue not-thinking.

Coming nearer, you threw me like a stone
Like a brick broke off a wall and lobbed
But it was my bones that broke and my phone
Is it ringing ; I feel so blue so black ,so robbed.

 

 

Grace after meals

My sister said she’s going to the Isle of Man.Is that sexist? Which Man is it?
Meanwhile my brothers have gone to the dogs and my brother in law is gambling with a frozen dinner.Or is it experimenting?
Well,I can’t stand her barking all  day.I thought she was human but she’s  a parrot that lived with a shepherd on Ilkley Moor.Fortunately there were no sheep otherwise he’d have got  a dog.And no parrot.That seems  wise to me.
We have sheep in London,you know.They are called ” voters.” In the Lee Valley there are sheep  but  they don’t look happy.Can sheep smile? They never taught us that at the Convent.All they were interested in was sex and how to stop people having it.Sheep were never mentioned.But in many ways they are better than men.They are warm.English men can  be cold.Still we mustn’t crumble.Keep right on to  the end of  the goad.To the ends of the toad.
Well,I’d better make  my tea now.Cream on toast and sugar sandwiches.I only eat banned food.Or it  bland food?I can’t remember.No wonder. I’ve not eaten protein for years.How about milk on toast? That has protein.Full fat milk.
Then we say Grace After Meals.Thank you,Mother.

Homer was a barrier to progress

Homer was a barrier to progress.Sorry,he was a barrister  for the homeless
No,he was a barrier to my progressing to do Classics.I didn’t like his jokes.They weren’t meant to be jokes but my learning was backward and you should have seen my transfusions… see what I mean? I can’t even destroy English showadays.I failed the exam in Latin so asked if A Greek could mark it,
My boyfriend came back from the dead  last week as God said he’s not cooked properly yet.I can’t believe it!He was simmering with rage for days.
He gave me a cack handed compliment.In briefs and his own best vest,he insulted me to my face and about my face!Why can’t he look down?
He will be black in a sec in the old coal miners ballroom
Should one put the horse onto the saddle?
Oh,back it up and leap on
My mum was a back seat driver;she had long arms and long sight,you see.I don’t see so I drive from the front…
I said, are you a backstabber.and he stabbed me in the chest but only with a drawing pin.
And what a draw it was…women love to tend to me.God may know why.I am not handsome but I have that special,Je ne baise moi!Well the French never wash and look at them…like rabbits.
Now children, we are back to squaring one again.It’s the only number equal to its own square and it has two square roots.It sounds like my husband,if you catch my implicit meaning,Now implicit functions,that is a deep topic in higher mathematics.. or should we say,lower mathematics as we are mixing the similes too much not to mention the cliches and the metaphors.It’s like Greek to me.Thank God I know no Hebrew…it would be such a strain on my brain.
Backs to the drawing boards.the artists fought off the invading poets to no avail.Now all the pictures have titles…… just like the Royal family.What a joy.
Back to the salty pines on Holkham Beach…. a good place to get lost and even meet the Queen
What is a backhanded compliment for? Answer briefly and fully without loosing in a thesaurus… not that you common people have them….THUD.
Another right wing teacher is struck down by God…. or rather it was a catapult with a brick but I saw they used them in the Bible so it’s ethically acceptable I believe.Yes,I do.
Ah come off? Now come on.A lot of the Bible is vicious….cutting off men’ s hair…Why did Samson have long hair… no=one I know around here does.Beards,yes.Hair…. not much.
And even beards have drawbacks.Washing them is a burden…could you have a false one like a wig?Here’s where I may have got a bright idea!
False beards.. cheap.Two a penny.

Man gone?

Instead of a  husband

An electric carving knife… if you afford a joint of beef!
An electric tin opener.For those nights when baked beans are all you have left
A giant size teddy bear.Something to hug.
Money.
A masseuse.
A friend who can climb a ladder.
A dog to bark at you.
A cat to cuddle up to you.
A parrot to repeat the words you said when you dropped a Le Creuset pot onto the floor  to your guests.
A person who enjoys conversation.

Not a lot really