I  remember a few  years ago reading an article about people who were  bereaved.One woman said,
I have plenty of people to do things with but no-one to do nothing with.
I was reminded of that  lately because I have felt very sad and stricken again.And I can visit somebody but I will have to talk to them.Unless they had  other people there so I could just sit quietly.Being with people is nice but  not if constant conversation is required.That is where those who’ve been blessed with   ahappy partnership or marriage have really been fortunate.I suppose years ago we lived near our extended family so that would have given us some protection.But  here  not many people do.Or maybe their  relatives have died.Being with people but not having to talk…
One reason living to be very old is painful is that your own age group has thinned out a lot and people don’t realise very old people still have desires and wishes and don’t want to watch TV all day.Many times they do want to talk but nobody is there.I am not VERY old yet.But I have friends who are.And actually even young people can have disabilities  or  go blind  etc.

There is  no doubt we  all do this reading between the lines…sometimes consciously,sometimes unwittingly.We attempt to fill in gaps in our knowledge.There are a few problems.One is in cultural differences which may affect us here on the web.We come from very different societies and the meanings of certain words and attitudes does vary considerably;

And another factor is our own desires which we are  not always aware of.We may then interpret someone’s words in a way which fits with our desire or interpret someone using bad language to signify that they do not respect us.If the Soaps are an indication it seems in much of Britain every other word has just four letters. which to me shows poverty of feelings and language… but it means many people are not offended by them…But many still are.

So wishful thinking,ignorance,wanting to believe something,,,,,..cultural ignorance.. all these may make communication difficult.Perhaps we should not read too much between the lines at the beginning of a friendship…and be wary of imputing desires to another when they seem to offer what we are hoping for.

It’s a bit like the way here nearly everyone puts “love” or “xxxxx” at the end of a letter or email… so that in reality it means  almost nothing at all;Words become meaningless through overuse and we  will have to judge in other ways what a person feels for us..

Some people are more prone to seeing patterns or meanings in things which can be creative but it can also lead to paranoia in the insecure or lonely individual who has become the center of a huge important plot.When I was ill as a child I remember seeing faces leering at me from the wallpaper and the oil heater hissed menacingly,,, it was the fever but I was afraid…We need friends to tell us if our interpretations seem sensible and to comfort us when we are low.. and we need to be wary of assuming too much especially when we come from different cultures