Day: February 15, 2016

Stan is mildly tempted by Annie’s toes

Photo0471

  • Stan was  feeling a l ittle annoyed as since the days were getting brighter and longer the dust on the furniture was becoming more evident..Not that Mary was a tyrant  in any way but she was out at work ,whereas he was free  from his purgatory working with gamblers and homeless drug users.

    Of course he had been pleased to be working to improve society but enough was enough.He already was helping two people on a voluntary basis at his  local church.Still Mary was labouring in the lecture hall explaing how linear algebra might help folk to lead better and more virtuous lives especially if they were going into Parliament or the higher reaches of the Civil Service which aided government ministers dealing with strange confusions in th Economy and the entire world
    He picked up his microfibre dusting rag cut from an old towel and started to dust the TV set.After that he sprayed Dettox onto the keyboards of all their laptops ,ipads, phones and remote controls.Then  he dried them with an old tea towel made of cotton and linen.
    Suddenly he heard the back door opening.In ran his beauteous mistress Annie wearing a green and red tracksuit and purple trainers with pink spots on.
    Shall I make some lovely coffee,she asked impertinently.
    I have not done much housework yet,Stan cried tearfully, with a smile
    Let me see,she responded with the genuine  interest of the retired and bored,
    My, this remote control is very,very clean,I am stunned
    She put it in front of her eyes and glared myopically at it.
    All her mindpower was concentrated on this one object which was now her whole world.
    You have done brilliantly with this but you do need a break from this tedious and arduous work,she enthused to her aged lover.
    Oh, OK then,Stan answered laconically.
    She poured coffee and  Jersey milk into two Portmeirion pottery mugs and took them into the conservatory where she admired his potted plants and his herbs.
    What ‘s this  funny plant here, she called.It wasn’t here last week,
    It’s cannabis,he informed her wilfully.
    Are you a user now she enquired tactlessly.
    No,I am keeping it for a friend.. he is a scientist,Stan claimed
    That’s what they all say,she riposted jocosely.
    Well,I don’t know how to use it.I believe you smoke it so does it have to be dried?
    I guess so , she said like a cowboy from Alabama on a diet of coke and french fries.
    Well,I am not going test it,he said pensively.I don’t even smoke a pipe any more.I suck my thumb instead.It’s free.

    Would you like to suck my toes ,she asked him lovingly. After all, the Duchess of York had hers sucked and I am her equal in some ways she told him truthfully

    Sucking women’s toes has so far not been part of my repertoire and neither
    has whipping and smacking them either.I prefer to suck their lips and caress their cheeks. Stan informed her politely as if they had never met before.
    Which cheeks? she asked suspiciously yet humorously
    Sorry, dear,I am happy to caress any part of your warm voluptuous flesh later  but I need to get on with the housework.
    Just ignore it, she ordered him.I’ll help you after we have been to bed
    I didn’t know we were going to bed, he said in a puzzled tone
    Well,you do now, she giggled deliciously.
    And so does Emil e who is already on the landing from where he can see the mirror opposite the bed.What a naughty boy he is, but what would you do in his position?
    I thought so.

    Midwinter

Mending

Photo0469.jpgI have become quite concerned with  mending things recently.One of them is a lamp which is in a photograph I posted today.It is a lamp I love very much because I have drawn it and painted it a lot in the past.So I have got a new cord and the only problem may be  that my hands are not strong enough to get the old one out.If so I’ll have to get someone to do it.An electrician!Photo0470

 

I feel like a ghost haunting my own life.I  am wondering if humans become unreal to themselves when they lose a loved one.So far I’ve not asked anyone else if they feel like that.

On the plus side I am now on a special arrangement with British Gas so I get priority if my heating breaks down and I get my meter read quarterly by a real person.And the bill is half of what it was before.We’ve had a mild winter here.Though it is frosty now

The inkblot on the right looks like a cat’s head to me.Alfred has disappeared alas.Photo1451

Ego wilt

I am tormented with ego-wilt today

My ego has shrunk with dismay.

The stairs are unclean

The fluff has been seen.

And I am afraid that somebody will say.

 

My solution is to buy a small tent

As then I shan’t pay any rent.

The cat will breathe over me

Till the ice melts un-soberly.

Then I shall crawl out all bent.

 

Do you like my new term ego-wilt?

Do such words toss you into guilt?

Well, eventually we’ll adapt

And get our brains mapped.

I hope that my eyes will not tilt.

 

 

 

Origami

I like this poem
[From American Life in poetry by Ted Kooser]

This column is more than ten years old and I’ve finally gotten around to trying a little origami! Here’s a poem about that, and about a good deal more than that, by Vanessa Stauffer, who teaches writing at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan.

Lessons

To crease a sheet of paper is to change
its memory, says the origami
master: what was a field of snow
folded into flake. A crane, erect,
structured from surface. A tree
emerges from a leaf—each form undone

 

reveals the seams, pressed
with ruler’s edge. Some figures take
hundreds to be shaped, crossed
& doubled over, the sheet bound
to its making—a web of scars
that maps a body out of space,

 

how I fashion memory: idling
at an intersection next to Jack Yates High,
an hour past the bell, I saw a girl
fold herself in half to slip beneath
the busted chain-link, books thrust
ahead, splayed on asphalt broiling

 

in Houston sun. What memory
will she retain? Her cindered palms,
the scraped shin? Braids brushing
the dirt? The white kite of her homework
taking flight? Finding herself
locked out, or being made

 

to break herself in.

Argute is a new word to me

Argute is a new word to me

The meaning’s as clear as can be.

That’s what I thought

But I forget my brain’s caught

In a tangle with my account book’s mystery.

 

It looks   similar to  argue, to me.

It just has  that one extra t.

Words are a jumble,

And my mind is humbled.

Argute is as clear as the sea.

 

Transmuted,arguted,diluted.

Our language is not quite pellucid.

But it has its own richness,

And is useful to witches

Who speech is ,of need, convoluted.

 

Oh what joy  I find playing with words;

Or writing  my poems absurd.

It is free to  us all

To gambol and call.

Chirrupino.chirrup I know,I’m a bird/ lemon curd/I cared/I dared/ be you  heard.

 

 

 

Argute

I must confess I have never heard of this word before.And I am well read.
The definition is from the Oxford Dictionary on line
11866429_606607879479094_8892779543066222730_n
arguteLine breaks: ar¦gute

Pronunciation: /ɑːˈɡjuːt/

Definition of argute in English:

adjective

rare

Shrewd.

Origin

Late 16th century: from Latin argutus ‘made clear, proved, accused’, from arguere.

Words that rhyme with argute

acute, astute, beaut, Beirut, boot, bruit, brut, brute, Bute, butte, Canute, cheroot, chute, commute, compute, confute, coot, cute, depute, dilute, dispute, flute, galoot, hoot, impute, jute, loot, lute, minute, moot, newt, outshoot, permute, pollute, pursuit, recruit, refute, repute, route, salute, Salyut, scoot, shoot, Shute, sloot, snoot, subacute, suit, telecommute, Tonton Macoute, toot, transmute, undershoot, uproot, Ute, volute

Emile’s flu jab

The cat is watching you

Stan realized it was time for Emile to have his annual flu jab.He stopped polishing the windows and picked up the phone.

Hello,it’s Stan  Tan here.Can I make an appointment for Emile?
Yes, come today if Emile has had a bath.
Are you joking?
Yes, the receptionist responded cheerfully.
Actually he did have a bath and now can swim breaststroke!
How amazing, she said sweetly.
Stan got out Emile’s travelling basket.He put some copies of The Independent inside
in case Emile was bored.
Here,Emile,I’m taking you for a ride in the car.kindly step into your basket,
Can’t I sit by you and wear a seat belt?
I fear it’s illegal,old boy.
OK,granddad,Emile answered jauntily.He climbed into the basket and sat up staring out boldly with his great amber eyes.
The doorbell rang.
Hello,Annie,Would you like to come to the vet’s with us?
She looked down at her violet velvet track suit and purple trainers with real gold laces.
Yes,I’ll sit in the back with Emile if you are ok with that

He fell in love with the cat: a short sweet story
After ten minutes they arrived and parked the car under an elm tree.Stan carried the basket steadily not wanting the poor cat to fall in an undignified manner,Annie looked at her green nails.
Do you like my nail varnish,Stan?
To be honest,I prefer shell pink.
Why is that,darling?
It is more feminine.
Feminine!But you can see I’m feminine!
I like you to be even more feminine.
Oh,yes ,agreed Emile, So do I.
You men,she cried sweetly, you are never satisfied.
I wouldn’t say that,my America,my Newfoundland!
What’s up? Swallowed the dictionary,she said rudely
It’s a poem, actually.
You’ve been reading again.It’s bad for you.
Don’t you like to be my new found land?
A bit late to ask now, she murmured seductively.
The next moment they were in the empty waiting room.Then a man came in with a big black dog.Emile stared fiercely and the dog whimpered and lay down on the floor.
The vet came out and asked Stan to bring Emile in.Emile gave a yell at the dog before Stan shut the door.So, said the beautiful young vet, how is pussy today.
Emile remained silent.He’s fine,just needs his flu jab.muttered Stan.
Come now,Emile come out of there.But Emile was clinging to his basket with ll his sharp claws.
Are you afraid Emile?He asked kindly
No,I’m not afraid, I’m just acting how vets expect cats to act.
So Emile speaks English?
He knows French too.
Je t’aime Emile.
Bedankt, madame.
Stop showing off and get out of there,she doesn’t speak Dutch.
Mein mutter wast immer krank,cried Emile.
Get out now!
Emile came out slowly and stood by this good lady.She looks a bit like Annie, he whispered.
The vet took out a small needle and swiftly injected Emile.
What a good boy, she sang,would you like a jelly baby?
A jelly baby!Cats don’t eat jelly babies!
Well, have a go!
Emile stalked back to his basket,put on some glasses and began to read the editorial in The Independent.
Stan was hoping to make a suggestive remark to the vet,but Annie came in.
Hurry up, there’s a thunderstorm coming.Her nails were now pink.
Did you change your nail varnish?
No,the green was artificial nails!I took them off.
Can I have some claw varnish,demanded Emile plaintively
What color?
I fancy teal,Emile miaowed.
Teal!How ludicrous!
What about red?
Too pretentious.
I don’t think I’ll bother then, the cat said languidly
We men don’t have to bother about such things.
Well, you are lucky, said Annie.
I hate makeup and nail varnish, blow dries and manicures but I don’t feel feminine without it.
You feel very feminine to me said Stan, running his hand softly along her forearm
and patting her behind!
Stan!Not here in the road!
Why not?enquired Emile.It looks ideal to me if you go behind those bushes.
Annie jumped into the car and drove away leaving Stan to carry Emile to the bus stop for a tedious journey home.Then she reappeared,opened the door and said,come

Come on now let’s all go home.I’m sorry I drove away.I’m feeling a bit blue today.
They got in and arrived safely home where Stan brewed a big pot of tea and let Annie sit on the sofa with her feet on  a soft cushion.He rubbed her head gently.

Lovely,she purred.
I like having my head stroked.So do I,said Emile loudly but alas they were too busy to hear or care.So Emile fell asleep and dreamed he was only a character in a story but it was better than non-existence.

For love of the face

Is pulchrifying oneself    well  a  virtue,

Or a vice which we must be alert to?

For  love of  the  face

Is usually safe,

Unless going out after curfew.

 

Don’t ring the knell  for me  yet

I am going out tonight with a vet.

But he doesn’t eat  meat

Except for pigs’ feet.

That is trotters  in jelly well set.

 

Others may eat oxtail soup.

And steal eggs from any hen coop.

They are probably poachers

Don’t let them approach us.

Roll your eyes and make    play   with your  flute

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pulchritude

cracks-in-the-pavement

Merriam Webster
Word of the Day : February 15, 2016

pulchritude

play

noun PUHL-kruh-tood
PrevNext

Definition

: physical comeliness

Examples

The snowboarder’s talent won her many medals, and her pulchritude gained her much attention from sponsors looking for a spokeswoman.

“Though the actress playing the queen has the requisite pulchritude, she lacks the gravitas to convince us that she’s a 41-year-old, with a lifetime’s experience and heartache.” — Lee Randall, The Edinburgh Evening News, 11 Aug. 2015

Did You Know?

If English poet John Keats was right when he wrote that “a thing of beauty is a joy forever,” then pulchritude should bring bliss for many years to come. That word has already served English handsomely for centuries; it has been used since the 1400s. It’s a descendant of the Latin adjective pulcher, which means “beautiful.” Pulcher hasn’t exactly been a wellspring of English terms, but it did give us both pulchritude and pulchritudinous, an adjective meaning “attractive” or “beautiful.” The verb pulchrify (a synonym of beautify), the noun pulchritudeness(same meaning as pulchritude), and the adjective pulchrous (meaning “fair or beautiful”) are other pulcher offspring, but those terms have proved that, in at least some linguistic cases, beauty is fleeting.