Or Jesus won’t half give a spank.

Pray Father, give me your blessing

To my peccadilloes, I am now confessing.

Please name them in rank,

From a  theft to a wank.

Or Jesus won’t half you en- spank.

 

Beg pardon, dear Father,I’m shocked

To hear the Lord’s name being mocked.

Well, we’re now up to date

So got on with it, mate.

Or who knows what will be your fate!

 

All right then  I stole my wife’s purse.

I also indulged in a curse.

Why, where is your own money?

I have not got any!

I work hard  but I buy myself honey,

 

Is honey a euphemism then?

No I buy the Manuka  when

I get bronchitis

Or bad tonsillitis

Surely that is never a sin?

 

Well all in proportion, dear friend

You need to earn more than you spend.

I see that is logical,

Almost a thimbleful

.But applying it sent me round the bend

 

But how about priests like yourself?

They are not meant to accrue any wealth.

Well that is the theory

But, cripes,holy Mary.

Some of us do it by stealth.

 

Well, how about absolving me now?

I do repent   fully and how!

Your penance is this:

Give Facebook a miss.

And earn more money somehow.