Day: February 7, 2016

He rolls his eyes wryly

My husband is idiosyncratic

He sleeps all day in the attic

When the  moon  peeps out shyly,

He  rolls his eyes wryly

Saying, my dreams were  merely synthetic.

 

So. is that not good, I replied

If you hate then they can be dyed.

How about blue,

Will  ultramarine do?

I wanted pure silk,he then sighed.

 

I think it’s the sheets that you mean.

I am a wife, not a queen

I bought lots of cotton.

For silk  might get spots on.

I’ve got spots on my bottom, he screamed.

 

Well ,here is some TCP cream.

Try that and we’ll feel how it seems.

Go up to bed

And chew on some lead.

While I stay down here with my schemes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stan and Mary meet the postman

Stan was brushing his sturdy tomcat Emile by the front window when he saw the postman coming up the path.This was a surprise as it was eight o’clock in the evening,though it was still quite light.He opened the door.
Goodness me,they are making you work hard” he murmured sympathetically to the weary looking postman.
Well,if I don’t do what they want there are 2.5 million unemployed people out there all seeking work” he said in a deep guttural voice.
I like your beard,cried Emile.And your moustache.
Do you like my new hat, asked the postman politely.
Yes,very much said the little cat.
Well,I have to wear it as I am a Conservative Jew.
I have never been quite sure what a Conservative Jew is,said Stan
And I have never been sure why the Church of England is international ,replied the tired man.
Neither have I, said Stan.It seems illogical.
He gave the postman some tea in a paper cup so he could drink it before he went any further.
Can I use your bathroom,he called to Stan who was admiring a few early daffodils.
Of course you can… it’s just at the top of the stairs.
When Arthur the postman came out he thanked Stan
Nowadays since all the public conveniences are no longer there it’s hard to find a lavatory and when you work a 12 hour day you do get to need a leak.
Yes,said Stan.I frequently have people using the loo…. or failing that you can go behind the hedge.
Just like me,thought Emile.I often go behind the hedge.I also take lady cats right to the back of the hedge for the purpose of lovemaking.
Have you ever made love under a hedge,Emile asked Arthur.
Or is it forbidden by your Mosaic Law?
Well,said Arthur, we can make love  anywhere at all.But we have to be sure it is real love and not just us pretending to love someone in order to get something out of them.
That seems wise, said Stan.You seem a really wise man.
Yes,I did do a lot of studying till I lost  my  job as a University lecturer and had to work as a postman.But it does give me time to meditate.
And what is your advice to other humans, purred Emile.
Well, I’ll just offer you one thought ,Don’t exploit others for self gratification and if you feel suicidal please tell someone or phone the Samaritans.
And if you do go ahead I advise you to burn your diaries,letters and other private writing…look at poor Sylvia Plath,How could she have been so stupid. Everything  she ever wrote,even on the paper napkin at dinner was  collected and published by her almost ex-husband.We seem to know more about her than anyone who ever lived.
You have a good point there, said Stan.
I work for the Samaritans one day a week and Emile sits by me and purrs to keep me happy.
You seem a good man, said  Arthur.Then all of a sudden he disappeared… leaving just a smile in the air like the Chesire Cat.
Oh,my sweet Lord,Stan murmured.Was that who I think?
Yes,said Emile.I saw the heavenly host behind him singing
Why did he call here?
We’ll just have to wait and see… but I shall cut up my diary tomorrow and delete my journal from the computer.I don’t want to cause scandal after I die.
No,said Emile, just cause scandal while you are alive by taking yet another mistress.
You little devil,Said Stan
And then Stan and Emile both chuckled as they went back into the house.And Stan resumed brushing Emile and mused over the visitation whilst forgetting he had not cooked the dinner for his hardworking wife Mary.Luckily Mary was always patient,

Peccadillo.. from MW word of the day

peccadillo

play

noun pek-uh-DIL-oh

Definition

: a slight offense

Examples

Mark’s thank-you note to his hostess was sincere and touching; his only peccadillo was addressing her by her first name instead of “Mrs. Henderson.”

“[Tanyanne] Ball seemed to have mastered the form of affable confrontation: as soon as she saw someone perpetrating a civic peccadillo, she would stride up and calmly, grinningly ask, ‘Are you aware that you have just committed a violation?'” — Tobi Haslett, NewYorker.com, 10 Nov. 2015

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Did You Know?

“The world loves a spice of wickedness.” That observation by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow may explain why people are so willing to forgive peccadilloes as youthful foolishness or lapses of judgment. The willingness to overlook petty faults and minor offenses existed long before English speakers borrowed a modified version of the Spanish pecadillo at the end of the 16th century. Spanish speakers distinguished the pecadillo, or “little sin,” from the more serious pecado, their term for a sin of magnitude. And these Spanish terms can be traced back still further, to the Latin verb peccare, meaning “to sin.”

For spreading evil is a bitter choice.

 

When love’s betrayed and doom hangs overhead,

When  blood drains from my veins into the sea.

Then shall I take new lovers to my bed;

And with their carnal touch consoled be?

When lovers  lie and  break my  tender heart.

When life seems grey and rocks bestrew my path.

Then, shall I my life of evil start;

And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?

When  lovers lie and wreck all loyalty.

When puzzlement makes all my world seem mad.

Then I shall upend causality

And choose good deeds  despite the tempting bad.

,

 

For spreading evil is  a  bitter choice.

Though deep in woe, I still  own my own  voice.