Read the review section tonight;
books I’ll never read fully
probably;
contradictions like Denmark –
Denmark has the happiest population,
and they’re all on prozac, too.Don’t you see?
There was a new poem by Fiona Sampson;
Mein Kampf is being republished.
Then the complete works of a poet I’ve never heard of,
a school teacher
The TV shows a silenced film of murder in a castle.
I look at email
delete most
And eat my supper from the laptop.
protected by a perfumed spicy mat
my nephew sent from the USA;
it’s patchwork.
My mind is on Furtwangler and the Pastoral
Should we judge artists for their political sympathies?
I ask my distant brother in my head
I won’t mention it when I phone him.
He looked like my twin but I don’t know him
He was always running away so fast, I lost him;
now he’s run down, his clockwork broke.
We mention Krystalle Nacht 1938
He seems surprised I know the date.
He doesn’t know I can’t spell it when I say it
[It was my mother in law’s birthday too]
Now I have lived precisely half my life motherless;
I can’t imagine how being mothered might have been.
I’m lonely.
My libido is dead too.
Maybe I should become another gender,
Or species.
I don’t….
What?
I miss it all.
Conkers and warm cobbles
Playing rounders in the road
Uncle Vince’s car
Cousin Frank could have been a butcher
Threw it up for acting
Played Hitler and a Jewish man in Warsaw
And an incestuous father,barbed wire.
Now he’s dead
He still had thick hair;
But it didn’t matter.