Just before the date of Stan’s funeral a new heatwave began.Mary realised her outfit which her sister had thoughtfully chosen was much too heavy.And she didn’t want to pass out.So she called into a small department store full of delightful garments.Unfortunately most were more suitable for a nightclub than a chapel.A black dress caught her eye.It had a somewhat low neckline which was decorated with a deep gold band.
Mary decided it was more suitable for Queen Cleopatra than a British woman.After a few minutes she found a lovely thin black jacket and a long drapy skirt.She rewarded herself with a large cup of coffee and observed the scene.
Many of the women were wearing the dresses Mary had thought were for dancing and nightclubs while the rest wore jeans with T shirts saying:No size Fashion or Free women now!Most were rather plump so their busts stuck out with the words going up and down some invisible contour lines across the small mountain range their bosoms resembled.No wonder when the counter in the cafe was stacked with almond croissants.Definitely an occassion of sin and for sin.
The next morning Mary showed her new outfit to Annie.
You can’t wear that,Annie screeched in a womanly way.That skirt is blue!
Well if it is ,it is dark blue,Mary cried.It looked black in the shop to me
You will have to go back and change it.And you must buy some makeup too..
What,for a funeral? Mary murmured guilelessly
Yes,said Annie who was wearing pink and purple eyeshadow from Pax Wacter combined with sun protective foundation by Minxette in deep cool beige.Her lashes were dyed purple and her brows had been groomed in a way which gave the impression she was constantly in a state of severe surprise or shock.
Her thick juicy lips were painted a lurid orange from Revlon of Timbuctoo and Shanghai which meant that any man who kissed her would never be able to conceal their passion from their wives or partners.How hard life can be at times.Or even all the time
.You must dress entirely in black for the funeral and it will make you look pale but don’t worry you can have some of my makeup
Will the colour suit me,asked Mary plaintively.
I think you can wear any colour now your hair has gone that shade of pale like Helen Mirren’s is.
You are a kind in a rude way,Mary responded ,but I take the hint.
After Annie left Mary phoned an old friend of hers and asked him what he thought of her clothes problem.
Black and blue will look very good,he told her.As long as it’s dignified and dark the colour is immaterial.Don’t think about ir
That’s nice,Mary thought,as she hated shopping and was unsure how much income she would have as a widow.
Being practical a dark blue skirt is something a woman can wear any time whereas black is not so good in the daytime nor in a nightdress either,she realised
If you visit any town centre in Britain you will see sights of women in strange and tight clothing that will both amuse and appal you though most of us are used to it now.I don’t know if men ever get used to it,
My goodness, Mary said to herself,what hard work it is losing a husband.I should have hired a boat and thrown him into Coniston Water.That would have been better than all this kerfuffle.Although the police might not like it.Still waters ruin sheep.though.
Cubist collage by Kathryn Braithwaite.
How my heart sings 
Nice collage – and, no, men don’t ever get used to it 🙂
Thank you,Mike.I think it is a pity to see younger women in leggings which show all they have got,especially when in town,There is a conflict between freedom to wear what you like and thinking about the effect on other people.We were rought up to avoid occasions of sin even though a bit of sin can be good at times.I believe in a modicum of dignity when going out.