Keeping or making a home

I believe that some men and some women believe women are born knowing how to cook,wash and make beds.We may learn it so young it seems that way to us.However, in my case, my mother had to work so beyond teaching me how to make cakes and failing to get me used to a sewing machine I never really learned much about making a home.

Sometimes, though,thinking can help.In relation to washing up I have learned a good principle.

Don’t make things even harder to clean or deal with rhan they are already

I mean by this that if you have a roasting tin full of fat do not put it into the washing up bowl with some plates that merely need a rinse.You may have a dishwasher.I’d like two sinks but my home is quite small.

I believe too that this principle can be used in other aspects  of home care.

If you like eating cream crackers and other crumbly food don’t eat them in the sitting room.And use a large plate.So you don’t make more work especially if you are not the one who does that.

Taking a leap into a more abstract realm,I believe this principle can be applied to life in general.We all have problems.Don’t make them worse by carelessness.Don’t let one problem  combine with your other ones to add an extra layer of difficulty.And that includes the notion that it’s easier to stop something happening  early on that it is to deal with all its repercussions. when it is neglected.As I know from my own horrible experiences.

Another thing I’ve learned is that very common one that things often look/seem much worse than they are.For years I feared  and dreaded my husband’s funeral as I don’t like cremation..When it happened I enjoyed some of  the rites  and was able to accept the rest easily with aid from my sister and her family and my closest friends.

Today I was cleaning a room I’ve not used while alone.. the dining room.Once I decided to do it I found it interesting as I have more books there and found some I am looking forward to re-reading.I didn’t force myself to complete the whole job as it is the first day for a long time I have felt ok.But doing part of a job is good.

Again,in our life with others,we can have problems which feel hard or impossible.But if we  wait and use our intuition we can seize the right moment if we are not too hasty.And maybe the other person will sense we are able to compromise or at least listen and all of a sudden we both reach out with some sympathy.

Nowadays I feel self control and discipline are not  popular ideas.And they are not easy to enact either.I tried to speak to a friend several times on the phone and each time she was just welcoming a visitor or scrambling eggs etc.Then I felt tempted to get angry.But I refused to do  anything to show this,One step that way can have a drastic effect on friendship.We can lose their trust.She may have  problems or too much to do.So I restrained myself from being sharp or from talking to myself about how awful she was etc. Because it is just part of life.I am not a baby waiting to be fed [I hope].Friendship needs trust and care.And patience is crucial in life.

I did have a bad experience once when I asked someone to pray for my sick husband.I received a  wounding response; however I felt so dreadful already that I didn’t feel much angst.

photo by Mike Flemming

I hope you can see some value in my sharing these few thoughts and  I am sure we can think of other good ideas which both concretely and abstractly help our lives to be easier or more tolerable or even fun.

In the photo on the right you can see a broken lamp.My husband fell just before he died and he broke it.But I love it so I am keeping it and hope to get someone to put a new  holder for a bulb into its narrow  neck.Meanwhile I use this cheap little lamp to brighten the corner wile I have balanced the lampshade onto the broken lamp to make it look better

KODAK Digital Still Camera