Here in Britain the government is determined to take measures all those old people who break their hips after slipping on wet leaves purely to get a few nights in a warm bed with delicious NHS meals like warmed up Fray Bentos tinned meat pies
PM David Cameron has said he will not share his bed with any other men and neither will Samantha.
British holidaymakers are wondering where to go for winter sunshine when that is what we get all the year round.
In France there is an outburst of madness after twenty swine carrying demons to the borders leapt out of a van near Nice.That takes the biscuit.Barbecues are expected later with thunder.
Meanwhile in Israel there is an epidemic of irritable Palestinian disorder.Milk and honey are on order meanwhile residents are advised to have seven Sabbaths consecutively and to wear pans upside on their heads if they go out for a breath of fresh gunpowder.
In Rome the Vatican says the Pope is no longer infallible.He slipped on the proverbial banana skin and cursed in Spanish… those….. steps again.He’s in a right State,he is.
Near London there is a new sign on the M2,……….No room at the Inn.Good Lord,whatever next?
Britons say only pure thoroughbreds should be here.That rules me out as i have a Scandinavian long head but Irish bone structure and that is only the beginning….I look like the milkman and he’s an Italian Jew..Sorry I meant I like the look of the milkman etc
That’s about it for tonight