And this is the end of the world tonight

Hello,Mrs Blogge.What can I do for you this lovely sunny morning?
Oh,I’ve got a nasty  odd pain in my conundrum,doctor.
Are you being careful in  your speech?
I’m always careful.
No,I mean, are you using a euphemism?
No,I am on the pill.Is a euphemism better for preventing babies?
Look here, tell me what is really wrong with you?
It’s  a complete conundrum to me and  all my family
Well,it will be so for me as well  unless you tell me where and what it is.
It’s a pain in my testicle.
But you are a lady.
That’s what people think.
Well,surely somebody would have seen before now.
It’s only just dropped.
That’s  very odd.
Yes,it is as usually testicles come in pairs.
I don’t know what to say.
Well,it’s  just an absolute conundrum.
Maybe I should examine you.
I am in a hurry and you need a chaperone.
No,I can use gloves.
What,put a glove on my testicle!
Well,let’s just wait and see whether it progresses.Come back if you feel worried about it.
Is it wrong to be a hermaphrodite?
What a stupid question.How can it be wrong when you can’t control it.You didn’t make the testicle grow did you
Yes ,being a hermaphrodite does give one stronger sexual desires as like with a worm there’s more possibilities.
I really don’t fancy sex with a worm myself
But if you loved it the worm then you might cuddle it
They have no faces so they all look the same.
They used to say all black people looked the same to the whites even though they have eyes and faces and expressions.
Do we need faces to love
We need them to kiss.
And what is life without a kiss?
Ask a worm.They seem to have a good life with no wars and worries.
No,they can’t use guns,can they?
Well,not to shoot with.
So the answer is to get rid of people and just have worms. and beetles.
The way the world is going this may happen quite soon.
It’s a terrible conundrum..
Well,I am very euphemistic.
Do you mean optimistic?
Bang
And that was the end of the world tonight.

May I borrow your glasses? Watch out for new crime… stealing specs

Self with glasses

I had a strange experience today.I went into Argos  in the town centre and aas looking at laptops on their little screen when a woman nearby whom I did not know asked to borrow my glasses.I said,Why do you want them?
And she replied that they would make the print bigger on the little screen.I said it might not be so as I am short sighted and the lenses makes print smaller and in any case I didn’t lend them out.She seemed very angry like a toddler who has heard the word,No,for the first time.To me it seemed odd to ask a stranger such a thing.
When I was on the bus I was telling a friend who said she probably wanted to steal them.That never ocurred to me but it may be true.So beware.What next,my heart? Then I was thinking that my glasses were quite expensive and we come to the question of envy and whether it is  ethical to walk around town in designer glasses.Because it might give pain to poorer people.She must have guessed I was a generous, soft hearted person but I would be in serious danger without them.

It seems very weird to expect someone you don’t know , outside, in public ,to lend you something so important to them.A tissue or even some money,maybe but not spectacles.In Jesus’s time they were not invented so the Bible tells us nothing about the ethics of spectacle lending.So maybe I need to write a new book  for the Bible discussing via stories this type of question.Imagine in those days they had no cars either or fridges…. so nobody could borrow them…. it makes me think of a play called,May we borrow your husband?