Day: December 27, 2014

the memory lasts

midsummer days evoke the trancelike past
where children played in joyous, daisied fields
with buttercups so bright the memory lasts
a freedom that our conscious growth will steal.

those stones and leaves and many coloured flowers
were gathered into images that glow
yet later we forget those treasured hours
when for a while we lived in life’s deep flow

we did not look and see,but felt at one
we lived as did the birds high in the trees
now we see and write yet experiencing has gone
we no longer live like flowers filled with bees

to lose ourselves in nature is a joy
which to our adult selves we must restore

Come back, beggar man

I saw you on the pavement
with your old brown dog
You were shabby,poor,ragged,
Sat on your tartan rug.
You had water for the dog,
You hugged him and you sang,
But the people walked on by,
And no-one looked at you.
No-one looked at you.

But you still sang your song.
And you sent me so much love
It crossed from eye to eye.
I felt it coming in.
I heard that you had died,
Though you were only thirty three.
Only thirty three.

I wonder,where’s your dog?

I felt our souls had touched,
You gave to me so much
As I wandered in my grief
Through the roads and round the streets.
In your glance, you touched my heart.
I felt love swimming through,
From you right into me.

Will you come again?
I see all these dim, grey men
Who cut your benefits
To give more wealth to few;
So that the needle’s eye,
which is waiting when we die,
is forgotten, for they want
protection for their wealth.

I wish that beggar man
would come back here again.
I liked to hear his songs
But I can’t recall the tunes;
Maybe I’ll write songs myself,
That’s the highest sort of wealth
Our creativity
Is a path to dignity.

Come back every one!
I wish you had not gone.
come back in my dreams
and give me some new themes.
I’m singing like you sung.
it’s this world that’s so wrong.
come back beggar man,

I knew you were the One

Say no more

  • Pray,Father,give me a good blessing.It’s ten weeks since my last decision.
    What was that,my dear?
    To lose my Catholic Faith,Father!
    Why are you here in that case?
    I can’t manage t lose it!
    Well, you are not trying hard enough,my child
    My wife says i’m very trying.
    Your wife?I thought you were a woman yourself!
    Yes,I’m a lesbian now.
    Do you practise it?
    I don’t need more training,I’m really good at it all .
    That’s a sin for a lesbian…
    Thank God.I have a sin to confess…I was lost for words
    More than one sin if you are married.
    Why,does marriage make one more sinful?
    It gives you more temptation
    That’s why you get married,so you can be tempted and give in
    Catholic lesbians are not allowed to marry
    You mean we should be living in sin?
    No,you should be chaste
    I am often chased by men.Does that count?
    You know I don’t mean that… you are teasing me.
    Well,I saw you running after me last week
    It’s not my fault if you are running in front of me.
    I was walking till I saw you coming!
    Well,at least I’m normal.
    Is it normal for a man of 89 to run after women?
    Don’t worry,I have not caught one yet.
    But it’s the principle of it.Well, anyway,I went to Holland and married a blonde poet.
    Are there any left?
    Look here,I am the sinner tonight!
    So am I.
    This is not a competition
    Yes,it is!
    Oh, no.Please give me absolution now
    Right, your penance is to stop hailing Mary and whatever else you do in bed with her.
    She’ll be so sad… is that a good idea?
    Well,I don’t know.Life is confusing.Giving up one sin causes another one.What am I to say?
    I believe if you love anyone properly it is never a sin
    Well,that’s worth musing on amidst the News of war and murder.
    I stole a lemon pie from a shop.Now that is a real good old fashioned sin.
    MMmmmmmm give me half and we’ll say no more.
    No more.
    No more

He cooks up spam

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Oh my dentist is handsome,a very fine man

He seduces women with his frying pan.

He cooks them eggs and fries them ham

And just now and then, he  cooks up spam.

He knows all the wiles and the tricks of the trade

To win the hearts of the charming young maids.

yet when they see him in his surgery

They pick up their handbags.And out they flee.

So now he’s decided to charm the older ones

By making jam and cooking scones.

He makes them tea and pours it out.

his tea pot has a very large spout!

He plays soft music and says a few kind words

Then he tells ladies how to calculate irrational surds.

It worked on me and now I am

Totally in love with this most intriguing man.

I boil his hankies on the kitchen fire

And write him poetry he says is rather dire.

But when we go to lie down on his couch

A spring is sticking up,so he screams.Ouch,ouch.

So now I suggested we use the surgery,

As that reclining chair is big enough for three..

For I always take my cat on dates with me

he  likes to lie just behind my knee.

But my dentist does not want to have Henry there

He thinks his dental chair will be ruined  Henry’s hair..

I offered to clean it with a kitchen cloth

As I’m sure I can get all those cat hair’s off!

I sit here waiting,wondering will he call-

A fate that is common to us women, men and all.

But when at last the bell begins to go

Alas I was listening to my radio.

So consummation is deferred again

I feel quite sorry for this lovely gentleman.

though now I’ve taught him how to send a text

He ‘s not sent one yet so I ‘m feeling  deeply vexed.

I have a feeling this love is too bizarre

Making out in the dentist’s surgery chair.

So now I’m thinking of how a doctor’d be,

And wondering if he would allow me to sit upon his knee?

How about a worm?

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Hello,dear.What can I do for you this morning?
Oh,I’ve got a nasty pain in my conundrum,doctor.
Are you being careful?
I’m always careful.
No,I mean, are you using a euphemism?
No,I am on the pill.Is a euphemism better for dealing with conundrums?
Conundra…
I’ve never heard of a conundra.
Look,what is really wrong with you?
It’s  a complete conundrum to me.
Well,it will be so for me unless you tell me where and what it is.
It’s a pain in my testicle.
But you are a lady.
That’s what people think.
Well,surely somebody would have seen it.
It’s only just dropped.
That’s odd.
Yes,it is as usually testicles come in pairs.
I don’t know what to say.
Well,it’s conundrum.
Maybe I should examine you.
I am in a hurry and you need a chaperone.
No,I can use gloves.
What,put a glove on my testicle!
Well,let’s just wait and see whether it progresses.Come back if you feel worried about it.
Is it wrong to be a hermaphrodite?
What a stupid question.How can it be wrong when you don’t control it.
Yes ,being a hermaphrodite does give one stronger sexual desires as like with a worm there’s more possibilities.
I really don’t fancy sex with a worm myself
But if you loved it the worm
They have no faces so they all look the same.
They used to say all black people looked the same to the whites even though they have eyes and faces and expressions.

Do we need faces to love?

We need them to kiss.And what is life without a kiss?

Ask a worm.They seem to have a good life with no wars and worries.

No,they can’t use guns,can they?

Well,not to shoot with.

So the answer is to get rid of people and just have worms. and beetles.

The way the world is going this may happen quite soon.

It’s a terrible conundrum..

Well,I am very euphemistic.

Do you mean optimistic?

Bang

And that is the end of the world tonight.
BBC the world’s best broadcaster,bringing you all the conundrums a person needs after death