I went out to fill the birdbath

I slipped on some muck on the path.

I fell backwards so fast

I flew through my past.

And lay twisted between anguish and wrath.

I had a new phone in my bra.

Is that not what bras are made for?

But the handset had a fault,

So I cried “come here,Walt”

Though my husband is, in fact, called Rob Roy!

My left leg was twisted beneath,

I lay soaking wet by the trees.

I was alone in the house,

As my dear spouse

Was at the doc’s with his wheeze.

I managed to get onto my feet.

I guess I looked very downbeat.

I got into our home,

My bum covered with loam.

I felt  definitely unneat.

Now I’m in fairly bad pain.

I can’t go outside there again.

Still it could have been worse,

As i said to the nurse.

It’s these earthworms that should take the blame.

I found sleeping last night was not easy.

The delayed shock made me feel queasy.

So I was reading Sylvia Plath,

Instead of having a bath.

That made me feel even more cheesey.

Oh,I wish I’d not gone outside.

I could have lain there all night ,and then died.

But my husband came home

And he cursed my new phone,

Then he ate up all the cat’s food deep fried.