Scramble yourself

How to beat eggs.

How to whip cream.

How to slap wet fish.

How to boil bacon.

How to cut bread.

How to carve a joint.

How to break the ice.

How to suck clams.

How to cook books.

How to cook cows’ heels.

How to cut off pigs’ tails and heat them.

How to stuff a mushroom.

How to boil brains.

How to roll your own eyes.

How to blow up your own nose.

How to curl your lip.

How to be hoist by your own petard

How to bully beef.

How to pot beef.

How to poach legally.

How to brew liquor.

How to scramble brains.