Day: September 12, 2014

A few oddities

6390442_d0ac9b8051_s (1)

Do you often change your sheets in the middle of a sentence?

Does the knight jar you/

Why is sympathy so rare?

Let them eat  les croissants de ma fante

She’s as easy  to hug as  it would be kissing a bee on my crowned head

Why are we deflating?
Life’s not easy when I  see ghosts smoking without ashtrays
I feel uneasy as  your pie made me queasy.
Poisoned by gum.Cured by order
Beat lead. Buy a  fountain pen today.Qouink!
He seems like a broomstick at a wedding for witches
Shall we beat  the cat?She can’t run for long so I imagine so
It’s  a  treat  to  see your  feet in your mouth
Why not eat your own dog’s food and leave mine for me.It’s all I have since the cat  ?died.
Eight hundred men caught one gorilla which took a bus into town..Now he’s been given a free Mass in the cathedral.Sorry  a Free Bus Pass ex cathedra
Why have you no elephant in your room? Are you indeed?
Are you on  an imaginative roller coaster? Join our club for the highly imaginative person
Now you must empathize with the wrong willed yet able to get the country off my knees.I am worn down by the dichotomies or deuteronomies

Like my cats? They are watching you anyway!

YOU IS SO MUCH FUN,ME IS NOT SO DONE
I say, an empty flattery battery.How discharming
The cat ate my enchillado so I shall eat its mice on rice fried dinner…..take that!Sweet revenge
I said re your novel, Send over the end,not,Go round the bend!How can you work that way.. it’s real neat,you play.By the way,who aren’t you?
These friendless words are neglected so I shall eat them.Or shall I swallow the whole dictionary? Should i shred it first..I’ll be absolutely fed up with  my studies soom
The agenda   fructifies  my daydreams into real works of art.. or cunning at worst.
Even a wild tomato finds a beefburger and fries good once in a while.And we are not so wild,are we?

Poem written using an automated love poem service

Images made  by me using Microsoft Paint program old version
cats and newspapersYour skin glows like an old lemon which someone left in the fridge for two years or more.
It blossoms as rudely as the nastiest weeds in springtime.
My yearning heart rises to your thunderous voice and leaps like a pig at the whisper of your name,Hardknut.
The evening ascends like a lion riding  on a great Kentucky Fried Chicken Wing.
I am calmed by your old vests that I carry to clean  the car headlights with in fog
And I hold them  in my hand when I have run out of Kleenex tissues.
I am filled with dismay that I may need to dry your tears of shame with old worn out knickers

Yet you ignore mine as ever.You appear to forget I am a woman.

As my right eye falls  down onro my blue shawl,alas it reminds me of our unmade blue bed once more.
I shall not forget it for my self esteem is low and falling
and it’s a year since I changed the sheets.
In the hushed yet noisy night,I listen for the last tweets of the autumn and look forward to an icy winter of miscontent
sleeping with the cats on the internet highway
My overheated heart leaps into my  hot  green mouth.
My lipstick is fading away with shock.
I wait in the faint moonlight for your secret bank check
So that we may strive as one mad being
in search of a  golden ring
Symbolic of ambivalent married love that has passed its sell by date
But still has some intrigue remaining.
I never met anyone as dreadful,sweet and ugly as you.
I love you,Nameless.You are mine forever

Or so I believed foolishly..but I prefer a cat now.

cat2 alone

Satan on holiday… but lo,the police are here

Image

Stan had  met Satan in his mirror many times.And it was obvious the poor devil was terribly depressed.He said he was no longer needed as humans were more wicked than he ever was.Stan wondered how to help.
He went into the bedroom and looked into the mirror.At first he thought it was empty but the he saw Satan asleep in a ball.
Hi there,he called.Satan woke up.
Hi Stan.
Stan said
I’ve got an idea.How would you like a drive to Sheringham?
I dunno,I feel too depressed.
I think you need a change said Stan.He picked uip Mary’s solid gold powder compact and opened it.What a lovely scent,he murmured,closing his eyes and remembering all the times Mary had taken it out to put on more lipstick or powder her nose.
Now,see here.I have mirror here.If you can get behind this,I’ll put you in my pocket and Emile will sit by me in the car.
Without a pause Satan leaped into the gold compact and Stan could see him in the mirror.He popped it into his front pocket until he realised the devil could not see out.
He opened it and placed it in his pocket but with the mirror sticking out.
They drove off in Stan’s old Triumph Herald with perhaps a few angels looking on.
Sat Nav,said Satan… is that how to find me…
No.it’s satellite navigation.It gives me a route to the seaside.
Bloody waste of money…what is wrong with a road Atlas.
It’s all progress.Stan told him.
Or might it be something more serious?
All of a sudden a police car came by and asked Stan to stop.
Why are you sending signals with that mirror,the police officer enquired..
To be continued

Houses built of gold and sin

Ante mortem let us trust

For in the grave we turn to dust
Yet in life the poor are cursed
Our treatment post mortem is just.

The worms and beetles care no more
For the rich than for the poor.
They are happy to devour
Bankers,despots,every hour.

Ante mortem, greed does win
Houses built of gold and sin
But God,who lives in each within,
Cares no more for gold thann tin

If post mortem we are judged
Why does the rich person grudge?
Why do we refuse to budge
Right until the final nudge?

Throw away your heavy goods
Live like daisies by the woods..
Fear not hurricane nor floods
As daises grow even in mud.

More dependent on all power
We trust in madmen’s city towers.
Yet One told us to live like flowers…
And enjoy this  life  but for an hour.

Perception is not privilege.
We each have the wits to judge.
See and note where you have smudged
What your creation would allege.

Post and ante, even now
The currents of our hearts allow…
The inner sea which has its flow
To take us where we need to go

Stan meets Satan in the mirror

ECG

Stan was standing on the patio behind his bijou home when a sudden heavy  downpour of water drenched him all over.
This is like a monsoon,he murmured to Emile who was also wet and drowned looking
A head  and neck appeared over the dark wooden fence.
I’m awfully sorry,old boy.A pipe has burst in Annie’s loft.I tried to fix it myself.
I don’t believe it.You are Stan Brown.It must be 50 years since I saw you.
Stan was hiding his surprise at seeing Rudolf Hairnet,his former logic tutor at an ancient foundation, in the garden of Annie,Stan’s beloved colourful mistress.
Why not pop in Rudolf,he said.I’ll leave the door open and go upstairs to change my clothes.Be with you in a moment.
Stan went upstairs and removed his clothes.His body was now as thin as when he reached his full height of 6 ft 6 inches but alas it had less muscle and more fat. nowadays.He gazed into his wife’s full length mirror.
To his surprise, he saw Satan looking out.Although he knew this was possible for Catholics he had never met Satan before.Not that he was keen to,exciting as it might be.
How do you get behind the mirror,he asked  Satan gently.
God only knows,said Satan morosely.
Why not ask him?
I’m too proud,the poor devil replied in a bleak voice.
Well,we all have our pride,Stan told him,though no doubt yours is the biggest in the universe.
Yes,indeed,Satan answered.It’s bigger than Everest
Are you here for any purpose,Stan enquired.
Yes,your home seems more intriguing than most and I like to watch you in bed with that flame haired woman… is she your paramour?
I see,said Stan,You are a voyeur par excellence
That’s one way of describing me,Satan said,No woman will come to bed with me so I am trapped here behind every mirror in the world.I can see it all but never take part.
You must be very lonely,said Stan
Yes,the dark spirit muttered painfully
Are there no she-devils about who might oblige you?Stan asked him thoughtfully.
I don’t seem to fancy them so much.They are all as bad a me,I want kindness and tenderness not just lust.After all,one might satisfy that with a vibrator… we have them in hell you know!We have many things but love and humility are not there.
Why,you are beginning to sound almost human,Stan told him.We want love too.If only you would apologise to God I am sure he would forgive you and let you come into the real world of others instead of being trapped in there
Stan heard a noise.He turned round displaying his bony frame and his  drooping organs to Rudolf.
Are you ok? I was worried that the drenching had knocked you off balance.I have out your kettle on the  fire to make you a hot drink and phoned 999 for aid.
But we don’t have a fire,Stan responded.
Well,you do now said Rudolf,so let’s enjoy the flames while we can.To whom were you talking in there? he enquired grammatically.
I was on my mobile,said Stan defensively.
But where is it?You had nothing on ? On second thoughts,please don’t tell me .I’ve heard some strange stories but arsing about with a y phone is not one I wish to dwell on.
That’s logicians for you.No interest in the wilder shores of life.Stan told himself as he went downstairs and joined Rudolf for a good cup of tea.
And that is what I need to recover from writing down this very odd tale…
And so does Dave the poor  innocent young paramedic from heaven who is just arriving as we leave these two dear old men sitting by the mysterious burning shrub….

Wind dismays the flowering rose

Apples hang low near the ground.
robins chirrup all around.
sun on glowing maple leaves
gives a red glow that deceives.

Autumn air is flowing near,
though it's still bright summer here.
wind dismays the flowering rose
as with arrogance it blows.

Leave me one flower for my eyes.
Leave me roses,as I sigh.
Leave me not my dearest one.
Soon enough we shall be gone.

What remains is love alone.
If your heart is not of stone,
Fear not sorrow,fear not woe.
Into this earth all must go.

Some recently found Bible pages

Source: Kathryn

And it came to pass

And it came to pass that they ate their dinner
and that she did washeth up.
And she did leave the dishes to drain
Whilst she put on the washing machine.
and the man was very pleased.
And it further came to pass
that she gave the man some delicious apple pudding
and he was more pleased.
And then it came to pass the he f ell asleep
By the fire.
And the Lord God,said
who is this man that sleepeth by his fire?
And he said,I shall waken him up
And the man awoke,
And God spake unto him
How is it that the woman laboureth in ye kitchen.
And that thou sleepeth here in an armchair.
and the man said,
but Thou didst order women to labour.
And the Lord God said unto the man
Why dost Thou remember so selectively what I have said?
And the man said,
I knoweth not and therefore I will help this woman.
And the Lord God said,
Why do’st thou not think of it thyself ?
And the man said in reply,
It was Thou that made me,O God.
And the Lord God was displeased with the man.
so he called down a plague of blue butterflies
To prevent him from sleeping.
And when the woman came in
she was much pleased to see these butterf lies
and so she fell onto the man

And she gave herself unto him
And the cat was very pleased.
For it thrilled him to watch humans mating
and gave him hope
That the Lord God would take his rib and make a mate for him.
And indeed it doth seem to have happened
Judging by all the cats staring in ye old window here
And by their ecstatic yelps
That the Lord God was very generous with them
and made them many mates.
For truly there is no jealousy among them
And they mate freely and happily
and never have rows about the washing up..

as they eat straight from the can.Amen.

Thanks for all the food we eat.

Please leave our Earth neat and sweet