Oh,Stan is feeling happy.
His wife has gone away.
She’s gone out to Australia.
She won’t be home till May.

Oh,Stan has got a mistress.
She lives next door to him.
She is very curvy.
She won’t go to the gym!

Her first name it is Annie.
She loves Stan and his cat.
She wears far too much makeup.
Her lips are very fat.

She wears bright coloured stockings.

Her handbag’s apple green.

She wears a dark red jacket,
In case she meets the Queen.

Stan loves Annie dearly.
He loves his wife as well.
What will be the outcome?
I’m damned if I can tell.

They’ve been in this threesome
For twenty seven years;
Even though Stan’s mother
Said it would end in tears.

Mary is Stan’s wife.
They only had one child.
Her name is little Lyra
.and she is very wild.

She looks like a crazed tiger.
Her eyes are very sharp.
But Lyra’s a musician.
She plays an Irish harp.

Stan wanted more children,
But Mary went off sex.
She never lets him love her
Except via a text.

She called him her sweet baby
.
She called him little lamb.

Stan gets very angry.

For Stanley is a man.

He wants to join with Mary
Like couples usually do
.He wants to unite with her
But she always has flu.

So now she’s giving lectures
In the southern hemisphere
So Stan makes love to Annie
And swigs ten pints of beer.

The cat Emile is watching.
He keeps a daily log.
Stan has bedded Annie
Right there on the rug.

He’d vacuumed it that morning
To Emile’s great surprise.
The antics performed on it
Have opened Emile’s eyes.

Now they go to the kitchen
And microwave a meal.
Then Stan says to Annie
“I love the way you feel