In hell

I have now got 2 pairs of reading glasses.. what I thought was,next time I’ll just get a monocle… or a manacle…A manacle is a miraculous man…so I am told.
At last I can read books again…after meeting a mysteriously wonderful young lady who helped me.But where are all my novels?
I seem to have lost them…so now for a new author…a woman author who writes about people like me… a bit like me but which bit?
We focus on our differences but we are all quite similar except on what we read.
I do not wish to read books like

Fifty Days in the Haystack
Don’t let a cherry get in your ways and means
How I love being beaten in May and June
How to keep house for dirty women and loose cats
How to cook for the  wilfully blind.
How to be mysterious. in minutes
How to get a man to do anything for you except make love real
Five hundred new masochistic delights for girls
Sadism is the new black and decker
Teach your cat to say crap or die.
Getting into the shit of it;war for beginners
Dreck for  other beginners.
Love appals again.
How to swear  well for old Christian ladies.
Merry matings in hell