Day: July 24, 2014

He ate a piece of rancid cod

Image

Stan is feeling very odd
He ate a piece of rancid cod.
He hates to throw out bits of food,
but now his insides stewed.

He feels sick and tired of life.
He hates the housework and his wife.
He’s tired of cooking cakes for her.
And he dislikes her hair.

He does like talking to his cat.
They always have a friendly chat.
And he likes teaching tricks and jokes
And see….his ears do smoke!

He went to see a Doctor Brown
Who wore a bright red dressing gown.
He asked him why he had no suit.
And only wore one boot.

>Dr Brown said, Look here,you!
I’m the doctor,how do you do?
So Stan said “I am feeling sick.
The world whirls far too quick”

“Travel sickness is not nice,
The world spins once,then you spin twice.
I’ll give you some pink medicine,
See how you get on.”

“I want to get off, not get on.
My time on earth is surely done.
I want to hear angelic choirs
Instead of Mary’s tyres.”

“I think you’re very melancholy.
I prefer my patients to be jolly.
Please take Prozac ere you come”
“I’ve already taken twenty one
,
But I still feel so black and grey.
I can’t tell if it’s night or day.”
Oh,help me doctor,it’s that time,
When men run out of grime.”

“Now look her, Stan” the doctor said,
“I think that you should go to bed.
A little rest will do you good
And renovate your blood.”

“But who will bake the cakes and bread.
And make sure that the cat’s not dead?
And who will clean the purple bath
And sweep the garden path?”

So Doctor Brown began to cry.
He’s not much good but he does try.
So Stan went home and had a rest,
And ate some buttered toast.

Some days the world is too much here,
But other days it seems less queer
So Stan feels he can cope with life
And even with his wife!

Differently viewing

 

 

IYoung_Lady_Old_Woman_Illusion
Is this a young lady or an old one? The answer is it depends.Some see it as one,some another,If you wait it may suddenly flip.
You cannot see both at once.
I am thinking of this after  a hopeless discussion about the situation in Israel and Gaza.If people we speak to have one vision and we have another we don’t know this and we may get very angry with them as it is clear to us what we are looking at.
I am sure there are better ways of showing it but this conveys quite a lot of the meaning and the problems….. it depends in the above drawing what your brain selects from the possibilities..But we all see differently… nobody is right and nobody is wrong… or both are right in a way but cannot see the other image.what is the answer?
The only one I see is trust and that seems impossible just now…. yet we pray for an answer

Emile goes to the Garden Center with Stan

2apples1Stan and his bright ,beautiful and wise  yet psychotic wife Mary went to the Garden Center to use a gift token Stan had been given on his birthday by his cousin Marian. from Lee on Sea which is near Manchester They wanted to buy a big pot of mixed flowering plants to put on the porch of their 4 bed ,  tin bath cottage.Stan used to fill such a tub or indeed several himself but what with teaching Emile  his cat to swim,balancing the account book and cooking a dinner every day he was too busy.Not to mention cleaning the windows in the conservatory with his microfibre cloth which he did weekly.And all the baking too..he was missing out on going to the University of the Third Age to teach logic to retired artists.1236071_370604443072690_670872119_n

[My art..  from a  photo  of a bleeding bite on my leg..]

 

Emile their talking cat always went with them for a drive but he stayed in the car in case a dog might see him and bite him.
Stan said to  him,
Emile,would you like to sit on my shoulders,then you could come and have some coffee in a saucer?
No, thank you.said Emile,I don’t want a dog to jump up on you!I will lie down under  the seat and have a nap.You can bring me some icecream back..I love ice cream as it melts.
Stan and Mary went into a huge  glass greenhouse which  had a cafe at one end.How stunning  the orchids looked.. such delicate colors and what delicious and sweet perfumes they could smell.They sat down by the orchids and had a large cappuccino each and a very small scone with strawberry jam.
My goodness,what big mugs,Mary mused.Why don’t they standardize them? But to whose standards?
This must be half a pint!In some coffee shops this would be “Huge”
Well,just drink part of it,Pet,if it’s too much for you,” Stan replied abstractedly his mind on the nubile waitress.
What are you thinking?,.she enquired gently.This is the question most men dislike…maybe because they are not thinking and if they are,it may be they are thinking of something a wife or partner would not want to know!
I’m wondering what color  of plants to get.Stan acknowledged quietly yet intellectually.
I always like blue flowers like delphiniums she informed him.After 69 years of marriage he still did not remember…but it made life more fun… and more surprising as each day was nearly new yet not quite  second hand
The next moment they saw Emile. arriving.He was standing on the back of a large handsome black labrador dog which accompanied two stocky men.
Emile!he called,What’s going on? The two men came over.
Hello,one said,I’m Bert and this is my brother Bart.We found your little cat crossing the road.He said you were in here.Then Max,our dog,said Emile could ride on his back to avoid the mud by the gate
Thank you very much,Max,Mary said in a trembling voice. But how did you get out of the car,Emile?
You forgot to close the window and I could see a lovely tortoiseshell lady cat across the road so I deci.ded to pop over.Emile said triumphantly.I feel in the mood for something which is good for me.. namely sex.
But you don’t know the Highway Code yet,Emile!Nor safe sex
Stan groaned, as it was one more thing to teach Emile.Will he want to learn Ancient Greek, as well he asked himself evasively
Isn’t it cute seeing Emile riding on Max’s back? asked Bart.Do you mind if I take a photo?
Feel free,Stan replied.Allow me ,please,to buy you some coffee.
Thank you,said Bert.Two double esspressos please.And two scones with Cornish cream and blackcurrant jam,thank you
Stan went to order whilst Max and Emile did a tour of the cafe and had their photo taken by several surprised people sipping coffee and tea simultaneously in error but yet in time with life#s music
My goodness,said Mary,I wonder if this photo will be in the local newspaper next week.It’s a  symbol of love and peace.
Though of course not all dogs are as generous as Max. Not all cats are as bold as Emile..
Max wagged his tail and smiled upon hearing this.

If you’d like to help your dog to smile please email me at one of these addresses below.Cats can also be enabled to smile though this requires patience and charm and paying me a lot of cash in advance with no guarantees… i need money and am a cripple so please send it immediately when you find a public convenience or post office or a bank or from any cashpoint

Don’t wait.Email me now.. regret it later
patiencehere@coolmail.com
katepeaceplan@yodelmail.com
muchmorelove@catmail.org
katandcats@mymail.net