Day: October 4, 2013

My scruples and other thoughts

 

 

Pray Father,give me a Dressing.It is five Tweets since my last Depression
So what have you done now?
Well,as I’ve done nothing wrong today I am suffering from Pride.
You seem to think about yourself too much…maybe
How much is too much,Uncle?
Well,when we are happy and doing something we enjoy,we forget ourselves entirely.
and that is the best way to be.
But first we need some security.How can I get that.
You need a spam guard for your mind!At the moment you are on automatic which is the default setting of your brain to act like a reptile…
Thanks very much,Father,I never knew I was a reptile.Did they have scruples..
It was kill or be killed.Don’t you see the scruples are an attack on yourself?The reptile is attacking you… as you have frightening thoughts it’s annoyed.
So how do I rebutt these? thoughts
Say,Alright if I’m the most wicked man in the city,smite me and do your worst.I am not afraid any more..I have done my best and if it’s not good enough strike me dead now or forever give me peace,
And what will happen after that?
Well,we shall see.But you have to face this thing head on.Bring it to a head.Lance the boil.
So if God does smite me dead?
Well, do you really think you are so wicked because you stole a half penny from the charity box fifty years ago>
I see it’s a sort of pride… a theatrical display of guilt.
Yes, quite right.Anyway, if you survive your ordeal let me know and I’ll give it a try.
Why,don’t say you have scruples too?
Yes,I have scruples about giving advice to people.If they follow it and it’s no good… it worries me….
Why don’t we do or die together,Father?
I’ll give you a buzz.
Meanwhile am I absolved?
Yes, dear boy.Sometimes I wish I could be dissolved..
Why is that?
I’d like to lose myself.
Why not try reading a good book…I recommend Nicholas Freeling.
But I feel guilty reading.
Now look here,Father,God helps those who help themselves….give yourself a break…
A good novel, a cup of tea and a pussy on your knee,you’ll be transformed.
Thank you,my child.
Don’t mention it,Father.
Don’t mention what?
They never say.
It’s just a phrase or is it a phase?
It’s all Greek to me.
I know some very sweet Greeks or are they geeks?
Just one letter can make such a difference..
Write soon.

British Grammar

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My last boyfriend went from adoration to disillusionment  with me in two weeks

That’s pretty fast!

Apparently I was not fast enough.

You’re better off without that sort.

So,how about someone who loved,adores and worships you for six months before throwing you out like an old newspaper?

You should have let him read between the lines!

Be serious.I am deeply wounded,disjointed and falling into despair

But you only knew him for two weeks

But we spent every night and day together.

Always a mistake.Has he no job?

Yes,he’s hoping to seduce a rich widow.

So how did he get into your arms?

He imagined I looked very rich and was ready to shoot my husband.

But you have no husband

It’s all hypotheatrical.

You mean hypothetical?

Aren’t words odd when you stare at them for a long time?

Like men!

Never stare at a man or he will wonder if you fancy him…

What’s wrong with that/

What you need is a man who’s less impulsive.A slower kind of man..
Not these men who go through you like a dose of salts and leave you tied to the lavatory.

He never tied me to a lavatory

No he left you tied to 100 boxes of paper hankies.

It was so thoughtful of him tp bring them

You could say that

That!

Oh,you are so funny.I just adore you.Tell me,have you ever fancied another woman?

Another than what?

Yourself!

I don’t fancy myself.

What a pity!

Why?

It takes the waiting out of wanting!

Like a credit card

Think about it

I already think too much

Oh,well,come here and I’ll show you what a woman can do for you

Er, sorry,,, I have an appointment..

With whom?

My dentist.

Don’t tell me you are going out with him.

No,we are staying in

Well,you are a fast worker

I have to be as they all leave me so soon

There’s a moral here.

You write it down and show me tomorrow…

I see… off to see how comfy his new dental chair is

I always thought a dentist would be good for a sado-masochistic relationship… or bad of you catch my drift.

I think you are an absolute fool.Will you never learn

What@

To be more discriminating

No,I’ll be incriminating..discrimination is a crime

Whom shall you incriminate

The dentist.. whom else?

My,our English grammar is coming on.

Now we have to call it,British grammar.

But we have no language called British!

British English!

I blame Human Rights Legislation

Oh,give over.It was that common market…I blame de Gaulle!

And that is the end of

“Thoughts for Today” on the BBC Home Service…. and what a service!

Artifacts

Another poet speaks to you..

Paul F. Lenzi's avatarPoesy plus Polemics

emotions have geometry

itinerant objects that occupy

psychic articulate space

between thoughts and beliefs

all these temporal artifacts

transient fleet or persistent

they bear their own

boneless dimensions

hues marking identity

recognized even by

dullest of minds

but they cannot be held

no hand can caress them

or punish their shapes

they are born live and die

by inherent volition

a mystical spark

always felt never touched

for to do so would

trigger oblivion

ripping the mind

from the heart

from the soul

leaving nothing but someone

like those we have seen

walking aimless

through meaningless lives

never knowing the joys

of knowing the self

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Deserted

The woman walks in a bleak landscape of monotone colors.
With child,she crosses this rough terrain
without a Joseph to protect or a donkey to carry her.
No inn nor stable is here.No cattle nor sheep
nothing alive.
Now she feels her labor pains coming;
Lies down amongst the rocks to wait
Here is an anonymous,faceless figure.
Pronounces himself a doctor.
She labors; he picks up her son.No Messiah nor Oedipus;
Without speaking,he conveys to her,this child  is dead.
Not ever held in the arms of hie mother
Nor father either.
He’s tossed, light as a few feathers,
light almost as a bird
onto a pile of bodies nearby.
Whose unwanted children are these:?
Still lying flat she observes her child
one of many there.
Days pass and strength returns.
Stands now and walks over to say,Farewell.
The child opens his eyes
Mother,they say,mother.
Holds him and presses him into herself for warmth…
Which way to go and when?
No signs, no maps…
Is there a right way?
Is there a guide?
Why was she journeying this way?
She remembers nothing
She has lost almost everything ….
Steps forward..and walks on.
What other choice is there?

You don’t love me any more

I found the message on your door,
You don’t love me any more.
Once you said “Oh,je t’adore”
Confusin’ ,musin’ losin’.
Why leave your message on display?
It’s been pinned up there all day.
I feel it’s such a cruel way.
Posin’,.musin’,.choosin’.
Can’t you tell me face to face,
Are you so short of human grace?
A brief letter would show more taste.
Deludin,broodin,floosin’.
Let me learn a lesson here.
I will not live my life in fear.
I’ll just shift into high gear
Illusion,fusion,musin’.
Once I thought that you loved me.
You announced it on the BBC.
Was it just publicity?
Amazin’,fazin’,crazin’.
Everybody has one life,
Sometimes filled with woe and strife.
Your loss went through me like a knife.
But,thank God I’m not your wife!
Musin’,choosin”,loosin,boozin’.

Geese fly by

Wintery frost and sunset
Wintery frost and sunset

AUTUMN

It’s Autumn weather, geese fly by,

Autumn rust,red,gold,so gay

Drystone walls edging fields,

Apples gathered,holly berries

Flash so brightly

Look like flowers

Sun shines sideways,shadows long

Of trees appear;I dwell amongst.

Woods of gentle beeches sing

Swaying with the sideward wind.

See their roots, all intertwined.

Feel their geometry in your mind.

Look up now into the sky,

See the V formation high.

Geese fly home at end of day.

My heart is moved by patterned dance

In this peace and great silence

My mind widens like the sky

And in this moment I would die,

So I would stay with this still vision

Of geese set out on autumn mission.

Snails in rain pools slither near

My feet upon the terrace here

And look,upon their whorled backs

All the sense of life is packed.

And yet so easily Life’s destroyed,

When blind foot foot steps into the void
;

“Is it still rape if you kill her first?” – Pub Quiz question from Radio bar, Glasgow

I can hardly believe this can be allowed

Matthew Vickery's avatarWhat's left of the Left?

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Please circulate/re-blog/tell others/tweet etc.

Last night myself and four others went to a bar called Radio in Ashton Lane, Glasgow for the pub quiz. It was a horrific experience. 

The quiz comprised sexist, misogynistic, and homophobic comments and questions, and most frightening of all, encouragement of rape and violence against women. From what I gathered, such comments happen every week, so the bar must be aware of them.

Comments and questions made included:

“What happened to the raging homo who walked from lands end to john o groats this week”

“Stephen Hawking is the biggest/most expensive vegetable, true or false?” (It was one of the two options, I was too shocked to take it in)

“Last week I was told my quiz was too male dominated, so this week we will have a whole round on tampons” (of which there subsequently was)

“Is it still rape if you kill…

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Simone de Beauvoir

If you want to be well supplied with reading for the winter,here is someone who wrote both novels and the famous book,The Second Sex.You probably already know de Beauvoir was the partner of Jean Paul Sartre though it was an open relationship.Despite her saying she wanted freedom I suspect she was not totally happy with  that situation and also had many abortions….such a choice is not one most women would make.Here is an interview with her in the  Paris Review

But I just want to introduce her novels here.And thisis for a gneral reader,not an academic.

The most ambitious is “The Mandarins“.It is very much based on her own life and caused much pain to her ex lover Nelson Algren,the writer.You will get a very good idea of post war intellectual life in Paris amongst the founders of

Existentialism .And there are many  portraits of those people and their relationships.My probelns with this novel is

It looks like a novel

It feels like a novel

It’s written  like a novel

But does it come alive?

For me  it is too cerebral and there is  little /contribution from  or  openness to the Imagination.I feel it was written by will power and not by the head and heart.Everything is a little detached,a little cold

On the other hand where is all that commitment  now in our political/cultural  life?