I have many  interesting posts here I proudly boast.And yet what do people search for?”How to have sex on crutches”..yes,it’s hard to believe,isn’t it?

And let me tell you,if you are using two crutches you will find it very hard to walk about let alone have sex.I hope I’ve not led  some disabled people up the garden path.If you need help with sexual problems you should consult Relate or Arthritis Care or some other appropriate Charity.I have been on crutches and in pain and that is not conducive to finding a partner.Fortunately I am already married!There’s luck for you!Enjoy ,have fun and read a poem “They flee from me that sometime did me seek”by sir Thomas Wyatt.Then write a poem yourself.That will help.

Emile loved the new purple bath that his owner and father  Stan had just installed and longed to bathe in it.He indicated as much to Stan but Stan was not convinced.
“It’s rather large,Emile.And you can’t swim.”
So Emile ,always adaptable,asked if he could have a bath in a bowl of warm water as a trial run.
Stan got a spare plastic bowl and filled it with warm water and some lavender bath salts. Emile climbed in cautiously.Cats don’t like to get wet usually but Emile was always happy to have a go.He stood in the water which came up to his chest.”Can you lie down?” Stan asked him.
“It’s too deep” Emile replied.So Stan took out some of the water with a jug and Emile lay on his back with his muzzle projecting from the water and his large amber eyes closed.The water began to turn grey.”This is relaxing”Emile miaowed
.”I think therefore I am.”
That’s Descartes.” murmured Stan
.”Fortune favours the brave”  miaowed Emile
 That’s better” said Stan.”I love Pascal.”
“My goodness thought Emile,this man is woman crazy.Now he wants Pascale as well as Annie and Mary and he’s 98!!
So to prevent further thought, Emile leaped out of the bowl and onto a large soft towel Stan had put beside it.As Stan dried him Emile purred rapturously.
“Would you like a blow-dry?” Stan enquired humorously.
“Not tonight Stanley,enough is as good as a feast!”
Stan emptied the bowl down the sink.
“My sainted aunt,look at this dirt and to think that cat’s been sleeping with me for 17 years.”
Stan wants to get Emile some swimming lessons.He’ll have to look on google or yahoo to see what’s available.
Meanwhile he goes downstairs to make supper for Mary and himself.Fried corned beef in batter  with suet dumplings and sauteed potatoes followed by apple crumble and clotted cream.Just what the doctor ordered! Stan’s doctor is rather odd.Read about him next time.