Stan got out of bed and tripped over the cat ,Emile, who was lying on the orange fluffy rug.After 43 years one might have expected change but they were set like rubbery jelly in their Strangeways.
Stan fell into a large armchair that he didn’t recall seeing in the bay window before.
So he sat there gazing across the room waiting for his wife Miriam to come out of the bathroom.Emile sauntered insolently to the door and disappeared.
  With his peripheral vision Stan saw Audrey his next door neighbour talking to the milkperson.No doubt she would be arguing about her bill as she infrequently did on Saturdays.She was rich but greedy,not an unusual combination as Schopenhauer once might have said.He opened the lower window and waved.”The milkperson waved back nastily.What’s up with her?” thought Stan patiently.
    Suddenly the doorbell rang.There was  a Parcel force  engineer with a sackful of books from Amazon
“Where are you going to put these?” Mary sneered.”I’ll find somewhere” he replied curiously”.Some are for Laura our talented daughter.”
“But her bedsit is full already”
“Don’t you think it’s time she bought a flat.She’ll be 67 next year.”
“I’ll lend her some money for a deposit.”Stan quoted eerily.
“And it’ll be your 82nd birthday next October” Mary paused momentously,
“What would you like?A gift voucher for Amazon.”she said sarcastically.
“Lovely,” Stan said absent–mindedly.”You’re always at home with a good book”
“I’ve just been recommended to try Cynthia Ozick.She’s from the USA  and is Jewish.In fact although she’d not been to Europe in early she wrote a book about the Holocaust so convincing that many people thought she’d lived through it in one of the Concentration Camps.”
“Well,I’ll make enquiries about that.Thank you my sweetheart.”
“By the way,Sophie and I are going to Brent Cross clothes shopping later.”
In Knittingham?” he queried.
“Yes,it’s odd.Someone went down town yesterday and there was the Brent Cross Shopping Centre right outside the Town Hall”
“You’d better go while you can, though the wardrobe won’t close even now.”He said with a twinkle in his eye.Although Mary was 78 she still loved to look charming and trendy with ear rings,make up, stiletto heels the lot.Her  most favourite colour was purple,sometimes mixed with orange.She once tried to get a job with Missoni but the pay was too low.~She was a great weaver too as well as making her own bread.Stan often longed for a taste but he had to buy his own.
Since all their pension was from his earnings,  though of course her hard work in the home was a big contribution,Stan thought that wasmean but he had never understood Mary,although she was his fifth  and most beautiful wife.Somehow he had never quite got the hang of women….was he perhaps gay without knowing it?
Of course when he was a young  man ,it was  still illegal but that would not have stopped him.No,he had just never met the right woman and he was unwilling to have another divorce.He already had 34 children and four exes to maintain and on his school master’s pension it was tricky.
  So he was staring out of the window at Anita their neighbour in her see through  nightie.Was she sending him a signal?The excitement was wonderful until he got a sharp pain in his chest”.Oh no Angina” he thought “Mary can you ring 999 quickly, “I’ve had a bad pain for 54 minutes” “Where’s your spray?”she said coldly,knowing full well she had hidden it under the rug.”Why it’s here  in my pocket!” he cried.He opened his mouth and  leaning the bottle against his chin he opened his mouth and sprayed it under his tongue”.Isn’t life exciting? I could be alive  again at any moment.” he whispered
 With no cause or warning his armchair fell to pieces and he flew forward like a balloon onto the bed. He found it delightful.There was adulterous  Annie,his neighbour, beside him looking very suave and dishevelled
 “Is this heaven?” He anxiously enquired of Rafael the Archangel who was passing through the room.”No ,you’re in Casualty”.Your good wife Annie found you unconscious in a wheelie bin and sent for us at once.”

Annie smiled heroically and ate another icecream mars bar she found on the trolley.Maybe this was her chance at last.”Will you marry me?” he murmured civilly.
“If you live,I’ll consider it,” she giggled.”I already have plenty of engagement rings .Will Emile be the best man?” “Well that would be an economy as he already has a morning suit,” twittered Stan on his blackberry as he fell asleep.And he and Annie could cycle to the church with Emile in the bike basket…. an economy indeed!