From 2016

 

Doctor I’ve got logghoreah

I feel worn out but I’m  still here.

Can you give me a blue pill,

As those bright green ones made me ill.

Oh,dear lady,I can teach you

If the subject’s not taboo.

If you keep your lips quite still

You ‘ll feel much better,I can tell.

Doctor,how can I  keep quiet?

Do you offer a word diet?

Which sentences are too contrived;

Can you keep my brain alive?

Never use an old cliche;

From the ancient,go astray.

Keep you thoughts inside your head.

If  you can’t,then go to bed.

Doctor I am not Herr Freud

Yet I see  my well trod road.

I  seem to always want  some man.

And in my bed I can fit one.

Yes I see you often mention

How your body needs attention.

You need love and so do I

But it’s  wicked if we try.

Talking ‘s a defence   of sorts

Used by folk  to control thoughts.

Intellectual word  excess

Is your device for happiness.

Yet it does not help your body

To keep on giving testimony.

So throw away your head,my dear

Love a man and lose that fear.

I don’t know that many men;

Maybe  I   count nine or ten.

Yet I fear they may use me

Merely as the maid at tea.

They may want  me to boil their hankies

When what I need is hanky panky.

How can I convert old boys

To make my  kleenex   their first choice?

We don’t learn that when we’re training;

Nor cure depression when it’s raining.

We will have to run a trial.

Drink the oil from this small vial.

What will this oil do to me??

I really need a cup of tea.

Will it increase my libido?

I shall not take it if that’s so.

Why don’t you trust me,my dear lady.

Do you think I’m  somewhat shady?

Well,you’re right,we men are lonely

And we look for ladies homely.

Surely you’ve got one  somewhere else.

Doctor’s need them for their health.

Yes, but I prefer your form.

How do you like my nice green lawn?

I prefer a sandy desert.

Lawns are so so last resort

Still we’re here so let’s commence.

I have  only got  five pence.

We have love so do not worry

Do not be in such a hurry

Catholics can’t have concubines

Yet God made them by design.

We must have missed some useful clue

Bow down  in worship of my shoe.

When we can afford a pair.

Then I’ll marry not just stare!